January 24, 2012

A Religious Experience

I want to start this post by saying that this post reflects my personal beliefs, and I am in no way attempting to force my religious beliefs on anyone. I totally and completely respect other religions and the choice to practice what we believe. :)

With that said, today, I had an experience. Mr. DBud and I were in St. Augustine, Florida celebrating our Wedding Anniversary. It's an awesomely quaint city, jam-packed with History and charm, so we figured it would be nice to visit, and spend a couple of days taking in the sites, and doing a little relaxing. We had been to the city before, but it had been a while, so we decided to head that way and see a few different things we hadn't seen before (such as the San Sebastian Winery where they offer a FREE wine tasting - very nice). All in all, the trip was great :)

In a previous post (don't remember exactly which - it's been a while), I mentioned a location in St. Augustine known as the Sacred Shine of Nuestra SeƱora de la Leche (Our Lady of Milk) dedicated to Mothers, women wishing to become mothers, and women seeking a smooth labor. I had been to this site before, and always thought it was peaceful and beautiful - but, obviously, I wasn't interested in any of the things it stood for (not at that point in my life). Well, being that we haven't had a lot of "luck" in that department, I was pretty adamant about visiting the shrine, and praying to the Virgin. I have always been a spiritual/religious person, growing up in the Catholic faith, and I believe in everything it stands for, so I figured it was important for us to visit the Chapel.

Photo credit: Me :) Taken with the iPhone Hipstamatic App

Mr. DBud and I quietly walked in, and had a seat on one of the benches in the tiny chapel, but not before picking up a free rosary (sometimes, they are donated and are left out for visitors). I whipped out my iPhone and pulled up the following Prayer, which I meditated with...

Photo credit, and more info: http://www.missionandshrine.org/la_leche.htm

Then, we just sat quietly, and I just prayed... I prayed that God would grant me the blessing of being a Mother, and that I could know what it's like to have a child of my own. I vowed to bring the child to the location, and raise the child to walk in his footsteps, as I did. As I prayed, the bells on the grounds started to play... And I felt all this emotion grow inside me. I couldn't help it... I started to cry. Mr. DBud had his arm around me, and he kissed my forehead. When he noticed I was weeping, he hugged me tighter, and just sat with me. After a few minutes, I whispered, "Let's go" and we exited the Chapel. When we got out, I carefully wiped my tears as I wept some more. I had all this emotion stirring inside me, and I honestly could not control it. We walked a little in silence, until I calmed down a bit, and we started talking about all the little squirrels that roamed the grounds. We didn't have to utter a word about what happened... He knew how I felt. After walking a bit, we visited the gift shop where I purchased a Prayer card with a prayer for those wishing to become mothers, as well as a rosary bracelet which I put on in the car.

Now, I guess we'll see. I have continued temping and using my CBEFM, even while on vacation, and haven't had anything major show up... But so far, so good, I guess. Just lots of ups and downs. I just hope I can see an O this month... For now, this is what my current chart looks like:

One thing is for sure... I am very lucky to have Mr. DBud... He's my Wonderwall.

Continuing to stay positive :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


Curly Bud said...

Diva, I don't know too much about the Catholic faith but have always thought that it was a beautiful religion (from what I know of it) with a lot of history.

I would be very interested in knowing the prayer you referred to - the prayer for women wishing to be mothers.

I'm sorry that your visit to the Chapel upset you...but I feel something positive will come of it!

Diva Bud said...

Thanks! I will share the prayer. It's very nice :)

The visit did slightly upset me... But afterwards I felt so relieved. I believe something positive WILL come of all of this. :)

Bossy Bud said...

Faith and prayer are so powerful. I also would love to know the prayer that you said. Thinking of you, Diva.


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