August 11, 2011


Our social worker called on Tuesday after speaking to our donor couple. I knew she was talking to them at 2pm. I had such an unproductive day. I was so anxious to hear what they had to say. I waited until 3:30  to hear from our social worker, and then couldn't wait anymore and gave her a call. She had just gotten off of the phone with them so it was good timing.

Our hope has been to be able to get a photo and a letter for the child from the donor couple in the case that we do have a baby. They had agreed to the letter, but were very protective of their identity and do not want the world, or their children(for the moment) to know that they did IVF or embryo adoption. Their concern with giving a photo was that if we located them, or posted something on Facebook, somehow people would find out, and they would like things to happen on their own timeline.

In the end they did agree to move forward, and even to give us a picture and a letter to a child when they are 1 year old. In the contract we will give hard copy updates twice a year. We will not post any photos of the donor couple online, and they would like to meet us at some point. They have approved this copy of the open agreement and are just waiting for their lawyer to look over it. They have agreed to return the signed and notarized copy soon so that I will be able to start my medications in the next week or two.

It has been one month since we first accepted this couple as a donor. This matching process and coming to terms on the open agreement has been much more difficult then I expected. We are extremely open, so before we started this process, I imagined that one day the couple would say what they hoped for , and the next day we would say yes, and we would both signed it and it would be done in a matter of days.

Our social worker said that our donors were really back and forth between doing an open and a closed donation. I think that in the end they decided that they wanted to know how any potential kids were doing, but it hadn't really occurred to them that a couple seeking an open donation would have hopes too. We are really on the other side of the spectrum when it comes to openness. They had A LOT of fears, but things have progressed slowly and I am happy with where we are at now. This process has been emotional and stressful, but I feel happy to see that things are probably going to work out with our current donor and that things are moving along.



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