July 19, 2011

TTC Rollercoaster... or more like White Water Raft :-/

Hello, everyone.

First off, let me send out a big HELLO to all my fellow buds who are expecting... I have been reading up on your recent updates, and am so happy to hear that you are all doing so well. I am particularly glad to hear of Cactus Bud's Progress, especially since we were supposed to be due around the same time... ;) It's all you, CB!!!

I know, I've been a little lost lately. When I returned from being out of town, I was sucked into the black hole of "busy". I have been so incredibly busy, I actually h
ave no idea where all my time has gone! Oh well... However, I am NOT happy to report that AF is late 19 days AGAIN. I have POAS two times since and have gotten negatives. Not BFNs but still, negative (they were very light, and not completely "in your face" negatives, so I wasn't to offended). I wish I knew what was up with my reproductive system... :-/

Still, I must admit, it's partly my fault. I have completely slacked on the Metformin, and need to start taking that again. I just get so afraid of it making me sick the way it used to. I HATED how it made me feel. I am not sure if we discussed any tips for taking it, i.e. taking it with a certain food, before or after meals, certain times of the day, etc. But, one thing I am proud to say is that, even though I haven't really lost any weight, my eating habits have slightly improved :) I am no longer eating fast food on a daily basis, or even various times a week like I used to. I am actually trying to eat more grilled and natural, non-fried things. The part where I am not doing so well is only eating about twice a day, but I am waking up kind of late and am just not that hungry... don't know what else to do about that. I just hope I can find a way to incorporate the Metformin into my life in a way that it won't disrupt it too much.

Well, I think that's abo
ut it for now... I don't really know what else to say, except I still think of Baby DBud every once in a while. I still think of the fact that I would've been in my 3rd tri already, preparing for Baby Showers and the Baby's room... I still think of how happy Mr. DBud and I were when we found out we were expecting. I mean, we are happy now, and we thank GOD every day for allowing us to be a part of each other's lives... and we know deep down inside that if we never had any children, we would be ok with it just being "us"... but it just sucks. It will always suck and it will never stop sucking. It is what it is. I guess, sometimes, life isn't fair. There are so many people out there who have no business having children getting pregnant everyday, and the "good" people have a hard time, never get pregnant or miscarry. I have faith that GOD has a plan for us... for all of us... I just wish I knew what that was.


Cactus Bud said...

No pressure on me or anything, lol. Just kidding, I totally following along with others pregnancies that would've been where yours would've been. I'm definitely guilty of lurking on the July '11 board since my loss. What's freaking me out now is that they are delivering. Crazy to even think that.

Forgive me if I've asked this before, but do you chart? I think you've said no, but I can't remember the reasoning. Just asking because I know you've had some 'late' cycles lately and I'm wondering if you're just ovulating later than before your loss. Its really common post m/c. OPKs would be useful as well if you aren't able to chart. They are super cheap on Amazon and are a huge part of the reason I'm pregnant now.

I'm really glad to hear that you're doing well with your goals to better yourself. I'm also glad to hear that you and Mr DB are doing well together. Rough times can bring couples together or tear them apart, and I'm glad you two are coming together. Fingers crossed that you get a second BFP soon!

Diva Bud said...

Hmm... Lurking on October '11 boards is not a good idea for me. With that said, I just may! Hahaha

I am currently using Period Tracker, an app on my iPhone. It says my period is due in 5 days based on last cycle. Once I start using OPKs, it may be more clear... And again, once I get back on the metformin.

Thanks for the good vibes :)


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