July 24, 2011

Things not to say to Pregnant Women: a 36/37 Week Update

Another week (or two), another update. Tomorrow we hit official full term and, at this point, time is just starting to drag. I'm so ready to meet our little girl (of course, being able to roll over in bed without a series of levers and pulleys is also something to look forward to.) Pregnancy has treated me well, but I am so ready to move onto mommyhood.

I'd like to slide into Pregnancy Annoyance mode for a moment. Something I've discovered during this pregnancy is that people LOVE to give unsolicited advice, and they love to give it to you on everything. Some of it is useful ("Witch Hazel. It's a lifesaver"), some of it is not ("You HAVE to give a baby formula at some point!"), but what it should never, ever be, is demeaning or mean. Once people found out I was going to be doing everything in my power to avoid interventions (read: pain meds) during labor and delivery, I got mixed reactions. The ones from women who had done it were great. "It's totally doable!" They would tell me "And so worth it!". Women who had had epidurals would either give me"More power to you" with a shake of their heads or warn me of how very, very painful labor was and how wonderful the epidural was. But nothing, nothing, nothing, could have prepared me for the moment that I overheard a woman telling my mother, the veteran of two unmedicated births, at my baby shower, that unmedicated delivery was the "stupid way" of birthing a child and that she couldn't believe I would be so stupid. My mother, ever my advocate, said "She has a great coach, and I did it twice, with her and her sister. It was completely worth it" To which the woman replied: "Oh, bull. It's stupid." This same woman, who attends my church (seriously, that just makes it ten times worse), has said the exact same thing to my face since then, reminding me on each occasion that she thinks I am stupid (with that word. "I call it the stupid way!") for wanting an unmedicated birth. Maybe its just the wording that rubs me the wrong way, but seriously? Lets be supportive of fellow women. If you want an epidural, awesome. If you want unmedicated, great. Breast v Formula, Cloth v Disposable, whatever it is, lets just be considerate and supportive of one another as women. I may not agree with one of my good friends who is due a week before me, getting the epidural as soon as she can, formula feeding and using disposables, but I would never ever EVER call her stupid for any of those things. Just because its not the way I am doing things does not make her wrong. ugh. Kills me.

In a great moment this week, Mr. CB installed Baby's car seat in his car, the hospital bag is completely packed, along with a separate bag containing Baby's cloth diapers, although I'm not sure we'll end up using them in the hospital, and both of us knows how to use a prefold, thanks to several websites and a very cooperative TY bear.

For a concise update:

How far along: 36 weeks, 6 days. One day from Full Term!

Total weight change: 28 lbs, still under they 40 they recommended I gain, but I'm feeling it.

Maternity clothes: When I actually need to look presentable. My at home attire is sweat pants and Mr. CB's t-shirts.

Stretch Marks: Several deep ones on my lower right side, none of my left. Interestingly enough, a lot of the deep ones on my right side are being well-hidden by a vary darkly inked tattoo on my right hip.

Movement: Active enough, but the poor thing is running out of mommy-room. I've been getting a lot of elbows in the side.

Sleep: I'm sleeping ok, though my dreams are getting hard to deal with. they have a lot to do with her..."D-wording" inside me because of something I do. Awful, awful. I have a lot of good dreams about her too, though. Every time I dream, I dream about her, and always about nursing her. I'm not sure what that means, although the fact that I'm leaking colostrum all the time may have something to do with it.

Best Moment This Past Week: Going to Itchetuknee Springs with friends from church. It was so nice to relax in the water.

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: Aforementioned woman and her use of the word "stupid"

Belly Button In or Out: Flat

Cravings/Aversions: Cold stuff. Ice, especially. I could chew ice all day long.

Symptoms: Back pain, fatigue, the ever-expanding belly.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Being full term and meeting my girl for the first time!


Lisa Aragon said...

When I hear stuff like that, it makes me think that they are somehow threatened by your decisions. Like perhaps she regrets that she didn't try, so her reaction is to disparage those that do. I totally agree with you that we should be free to make our own decisions but shouldn't pass judgment on those that do differently from us. I am CDing my daughter, and my favorite is when people say, "Yeah, we'll see how long THAT lasts." So far, 3 months and going strong! But... a little unsolicited CD input... Take it or leave it. :) I wanted to CD in the hospital but decided against it when I considered the meconium and how difficult it would be to clean. Ultimately, I decided to wait until the meconium passed. Good luck!

Diva Bud said...

I agree with Lisa's post above... some people make decisions, and are not "set" well in those decisions, so when people go another route, they get self-conscious. Also, some people are very pushy and always feel their way is the highway. Don't let it get to you... she's probably a miserable human being. This is your pregnancy, and your child, therefore YOUR choice. Personally, I haven't given major thought into my choice, but I have a feeling I wouldn't go the unmedicated route. Does that mean that I feel your decision is unrational or "stupid"? Not at all! I am sure you have your reasons for choosing that route, and you should do what you think is best for you and your baby! Hopefully you will be able to meet your little angel soon! :) :) :)


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