July 19, 2011

3rd Tri Freak Out

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I think I've officially had my first dose of what I've heard referenced as the 3rd Tri Freak Out. OK, not going to lie, I've had several doses of it in the last few days...but the best one of all was on Sunday. I cried into my french toast as we were eating breakfast. Seriously. Sitting there, shoveling food into my mouth, tears streaming down my face. Classic. I'm sure my husband was having a WTF moment of his own sitting there watching that.

I think it was the combination of several things creating the perfect storm. For starters, my crossing the line to 3rd Tri matched up pretty much exactly with the EDD from my first pregnancy...so I was emotional anyways. Then there is the fact that our Baby Shower is this weekend (5 days from now. EEK!) and our registries are virtually untouched. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for any and everything people are willing to get for us...but we are first time parents, are living on one income, and still have A LOT of the most basic stuff to get. The realization that in just a few months this little one will be joining the outside world and I'll be the one getting him there and feeding him (going to try breastfeeding) hit me like a ton of bricks. As did the fact that we still don't have a name for this kid. The icing on the cake was getting word from my parents that they aren't planning on flying out until about 10 days after baby is due since that works best with their schedules. Now, I live clear across the country from them and I knew the chance of them dropping everything and coming here for the birth (or immediately after) was slim...but its been a reality check having it be certain. Been even harder emotionally since I know that they will be there on a moments notice for the births of my brothers children (brothers live near them). **

The good news is that the freak out spurred action.

Soon after I finished my french toast, my husband and I sat down and had a long talk. We made a list of priority things to get after the shower, really exciting things like the pack and play (with bassinet) that we hope for the baby to sleep in at first, the breast pump to help me with possible engorgement and such, a place to change the baby (we have the furniture, but not the pad or much else). We discussed what classes we wanted to take together (CPR, childbirth and a labor and delivery tour) and what ones I'll take solo (breastfeeding and one on having a Navy Baby). I've been able to schedule all but the CPR class already...looks like August is going to be a busy one for classes!

I'm still struggling with regards to the parents thing since, in an ideal world I'd have wanted my mom in the delivery room, but I am thrilled that they are coming over to visit. This may be the only trip they make over here the entire time we're stationed here and I know that to them its a huge deal to be doing it as they don't travel much. My MIL has offered to fly out on a moments notice to help us with the immediate post birth stuff, something she's done for all of my husbands siblings (he's the last to have kids). For awhile I was debating this...didn't want my mom to feel bad and such. The thing is though, is that my MIL let my mom have first choice of when to come out here, and my mom made her choice. Right now I'm leaning towards doing what is right for our family and saying that as long as the birth isn't within a few days of when my parents are due to fly out, that her coming here sounds great. If the dates end up too close together, she can come after they leave (we don't have room here for more that one set of visitors at a time). I know we will really be able to use the help then and I think, personality and experience-wise (she had 4 kids of her own) that she'd be a good person to have around.

Oh and with regard to the name issue...we've narrowed it down to two possible first names and a certain middle name. You'll have to stay tuned to see what it is though...I won't be revealing that until the baby is born.

**I just want to clarify that my parents lack of being here for the birth isn't because they don't want to be. Its a mix of the distance, their schedules, a lack of vacation time and finances. The not being here is hard on them as well.

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