May 1, 2011

Mother's Day Delimma

So with Mother's Day coming up I have a dilemma that I am not sure how to handle. Every year that I have been married my husband and I take our mother's out for a special day of good food and pampering and a little gift. Last year my MIL gave me a gift as well and a cute card that went on about how even though I didn't have children that I was still a mother to my niece and nephews and such. I felt awkward and a bit sad because it brought attention, I felt, that I wasn't "real" mom. It wasn't too bad since it was just my mom and her in the car with me when she gave me the gift. She in no way meant it to be that way but I think she didn't want me to feel bad since she was getting a gift for my SIL who does have a child and felt she should get me one to? She is the nicest lady in the world but since she has known about our infertility issues she has been walking on eggshells I feel like and is trying to overcompensate because she doesn't know what to say to, is how I think. So here is the issue, this year we will be down in Vegas with the in-laws and the SIL's Family over the Mother's Day weekend for a little getaway/wedding that the SIL's family is attending (Sorry for all the long relational chain). Anyways I debating whether or not to call my MIL and tell her that I don't want her to get me a gift for Mother's Day because I am not a mother and I feel like it points out the fact more when she pretends that I am especially when it is around everyone else which is embarrassing to me and makes me feel really sad about the fact that I don't. I in no way feel sad on Mother's Day when I am focusing the attention on my own mom and my MIL because they were wonderful Mom's and they should be celebrated. I also hate when everyone has to be included on holidays just to be included when they didn't earn that title as a parent.

So, should I talk to my MIL or just let it go, she may not even get me a gift this year, and not make a big deal out of it?


Teacher Bud said...

Ouch, that's a sticky situation. You know her heart's in the right place but...

Could Mr. Explorerbud maybe talk to her? Explain that while you appreciate the thought, it makes you uncomfortable, and you would prefer to focus on her? It may be less awkward comeing from him.


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