Hoping & Praying

So I must apologize for not posting last week :( I know bad. However, I was trying not to stress myself or think about things to much. I was suppose to get my cycle again and I haven't yet... I don't even have any signs that I am gonna get it. I normally have soar breasts and feel bloated. Now I know it's common for PCOS to cause you not to have a cycle every time, but even when I don't get it I sure feel bloated and bad... and I don't this time around. So I thought that strange.

Then I went to the bead shop I tend to go to on Fridays (not this last one but the one before) and I think 3 ladies there asked if I was pregnant?! Say what. I haven't talked to them about it... only lady I talked about it with is the owner. She just gave me that look... I just told them I was trying and left it at that. But the next day when I went another lady asked me... all I could think is am I really that fat - which actually slipped out of my mouth :s and the lady said no you just look so happy and bright and I can't remember the other word she used.

All of this had me on edge... and over thinking things. Trying to compare how I felt the first time I was pregnant to how I felt now. And it just had me going bananas. So I decided not to think about it as much as possible... easier said then done that's for sure. Well, this week I went to the bead shop again and another lady asked me... argh. Then on Saturday my husband said what happened to your eyes... puzzled I said why what's wrong. He said they are changing colors... which did happen that last time I was pregnant. I don't know why they did or if it is that common... I mean did anyone else have this happen?

photo credit
Anyways either way it had me wondering cause Mr. Cupcake Bud thinks my boobs feel fuller (?) lol [leave it to him to notice that], and that they feel different in general, and I've felt off and on pains down in my woman parts... sorta like cramping but not exactly. I mean it could be that I am or it could be something else.

I fell asleep while the lady was doing my nails and I've had days where I feel tired more than others. I don't have much of an appetite and when I eat I have to force myself to finish. I mean there are a few things that make me wonder what is going on. Either way I decided I needed to go in an have a blood test done... I know most of you would say hey do an at home one.

But honestly I have wasted so much money on those things and I just don't feel like farting around with them because sometimes they don't show up right and it is very common for them not to show up right for ladies with PCOS. And I just want to know.

So wonderful Mr. Cupcake Bud scheduled for me to go in tomorrow to have a blood one done. So we will see. Then after I get the results from that I will go from there. Cause either I will be scheduling an appointment cause I need prenatal care or I will be going in to see what is going on with me...

Despite wanting to wait a few months to get pregnant... I really hope and pray that I am pregnant. Otherwise what is going on here.