March 7, 2011

An update, I guess...

I have been a bit out of the loop after being out of town this past weekend... I had a huge audition, which went well. Really well. Now, I play the waiting game... And I am not talkin' the 2ww. Still, during my plane ride over, upon using the restroom, I noticed some super sticky, super elastic EWCM. As of now, I am going to take this as a sign that my body is preparing to return to "normal"... Whatever that is. What I do know is that it has been over a month since Mr. DBud and I BDed, even if just for recreational purposes, and I am getting a bit anxious. Need. Sex. Now. Please!

I am perfectly aware of the fact that I am not completely over my loss. I know it was early, and all that... But I don't think you're ever really "over" things like this. I find myself getting slightly sentimental around babies, not to the point of crying, but with this aching, yearning feeling inside me. I wanted for this baby to stick so bad, even if I was kinda shocked and afraid when I saw the word "Pregnant" on my CBEDPT (ClearBlue Easy Digital Pregnancy Test).

Still, my other waiting game has us waiting to decide whether or not now is the time for career or family. I hate being in limbo, but I guess a part of me always knew this would happen, since choosing the Opera Diva life. One thing is for sure... This year, something's gotta give - we'll just have to see if it'll be "career" or "baby".

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


Cupcake Bud said...

Even after two years I still cry at times... even more so during holidays or when the day nears that I lost my little one. I just finished my sixth week when I lost mine... I don't care what others say and don't you either... it still hurts to loose them.

Even more so when you want something so bad and had to wait and then you find out you are and the joy is overwhelming... then you loose them which makes it all the worse.

Hang in there and take the time to heal... I still have moments even now.


Bloomin' Babies Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved Bloomin' Babies Designed by Kate M. Gilbert