March 6, 2011

Another one bites the dust!

I remember when my friends and I would apply that very same phrase to guys in our freshman class at college. None of us really thought that when we went to a college in NYC with a large performing arts program there would be no available guys. The year started with all these available straight men, but slowly...da, da, da, da Another one bites the dust...they all came out at started dating each other. It has been years since I have thought of this anecdote. Sadly now this phrase no longer represents all the men I can't date, but it stands for all the cycles that ended with a BFN...18 to be specific.

Even though we officially started TTC January 2009 (15 cycles ago), we did spend a little time in the limbo land of not-not trying for three cycles. Add all this together and you get 18 cycles with no BFP in sight. To say I am despondent would be an understatement. I have reached the point that I don't think I will ever see a BFP. The dream of having a biological child feels farther away than ever. In a hundred years, I NEVER thought we would be here.

We do have an appointment scheduled with our RE on the 16th to figure out what is next. I am pretty sure we are going to move on to IVF. We have insurance coverage and I don't want to waste any more time with IUIs that obviously do not work. However, I think I would like to take a few months break first, but I am sure that will change if the RE says we can start right away.

At this point I can barely think straight, so I am going to wrap it. Welcome to our new buds. I hope your BFPs come a lot quicker than mine is coming.


Explorer Bud said...

I am sorry to hear that it really sucks doesn't it!! I hope the RE has something hopeful to tell you!!

Sunflower Bud said...

You WILL see a bfp. You will. 18 cycles is not the end. At all. It's long, yes. But you are not out of the game. It took us 22. I even gave away our crib because I thought it was never going to happen for us.

Don't give up. You will see that beautiful bfp. *hugs* Thinking of you.

Buttercup Bud said...

I agree with Sunflower Bud. Lots of T&P's your way.

Mrs. Lydon said...

I felt the same way, we now have ins coverage and now are moving onto IVF. My prayers will be with you and your DH. I hope its coming soon.

Cupcake Bud said...

Keep the hope and don't give up. Mr Cupcake Bud and I tried for over 6 years before we saw a BFP. Though it ended not as expected I am not giving up hope of seeing it again.

Keep trying and don't give up yet. Now it's been over 8 years of TTC for our first one to carry to term.

I know the feeling of wanting to quit, I've done that a lot. Just know all us fellow buds are here for you.

Planner Bud said...

Thank you so much ladies. I don't know what I would do without you.


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