February 17, 2011

My Butt Is Bruised and Other Ramblings

I only have to do the Progesterone shots every other day but man is my butt sore!! The first two weren't bad going in but yesterday's was painful going in and I had a big knot for a few hours!! I was checking out my buns this mnorning in the mirror and I have several bruises sprouting up, hopefully this will end in a pregnancy so that I can feel like this was all worth it!!

Being on bed rest is soo boring!! The days drag and I am waking up about 5:30 each morning and not going to bed till 11:00 pm. Sleeping on my back is for the birds but so is laying around the apartment. My mom and I did go and get a snow cone today which was delicious. It had lots of sugary goodness that made my day!! The good thing about staying in Panama till Monday is that I will only have to wait 5 days for the blood test. Being here still doesn't feel like I am done with the IVF yet but just waiting for another appointment.

So far on this trip we have run into 4 people that are from Utah as well and we have had a wonderful time chatting in English with them. It is really nice being able to talk to someone in your own language when you are in a foreign country!! They of course ask why we are here and most of the time when people ask I will tell them why I am here but other times I just say for vacation. I am not sure why I just don't tell everyone but sometimes I don't feel like explaining everything or I figure they won't be all that interested. I guess I am still a bit self-conscious about people's opinions on what we are doing and don't want their pity either. I am fairly private with my problems and don't deal with with people's sympathies but I have been trying to work on that since I think it helps me deal with the process and my emotions. Mr. Explorer Bud likes to joke that he shows emotion like a girl and I like a guy! It is true but since being married to him I have slowly been opening up and learning how to handle the expression of emotion. Don't get me wrong I still will rarely cry in front of someone or express my emotions with people unless pried to do so but I am way better!! The one thing that makes me want to share my experience is that I have heard lots of positive stories from people of someone they know who was successful and it makes me feel positive about our cycle or when I am able to help someone else out with more information about the IVF process or where to get information. It is always amazing how many people who are in the same or similar situations as we are and it makes me feel less broken and frustrated. At least I am not the only one in this lovely boat!!


Mrs. Lydon said...

This lovely boat is large, and we are a community of support. I feel less broken too after hearing others stories.

Esther Noelle said...

Ok so you are coming home Monday? And then we only have to wait 5 days?? Ahhh! Crazy! I can't wait for you! I'm still in limbo - tests have been negative but still no AF!!! Ahhh! And now I have the whole world waiting with me - ha ha! I feel kind of bad for my friends who are feeling stressed for me but it's just a small window into what I'm experiencing. ;)

Dink said...
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Explorer Bud said...

Yeah seriously!! That is the downfall of people knowing is then they are just as anxious as you are and if the news is bad then they still want to know!! Hopefully it will be different this time around, how great would that be!!

Monday night we get home and then yes Saturday we can do a blood test but I may do it Friday since the Dr.s office isn't open on Saturday, I think, so I want the results otherwise I wouldn't know till Monday!!


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