Introducing Cupcake Bud

Once upon a time in the cold land of dairy and cheese (aka Wisconsin) a girl and boy met at McDonald’s orientation. It was love at first sight for the boy, but the girl was a little unsure. Well, after a few shifts together the girl asked the boy to prom and from that day forward she knew they were destined to be together.

After 3 proms, graduations and everything in between the boy (now a young man) proposed to the girl (now a young lady) at their church... in front of all their church family during testimony time. The young man never gave a testimony and the young lady was confused and then became shocked when it was about her. The young man even made sure her mom and dad were there to see it.

Of course she said yes they had the date picked out and things reserved well in advance (almost 2 years in advance), but then September 11 happened and everything changed. The date he had to leave was before their original date they picked, but he wanted nothing more than to marry his high school sweetheart before leaving... and hearing this melted her heart... so they pushed the date up and were married on Valentine’s Day becoming Mr and Mrs Cupcake Bud. Then in less then two weeks later he left basic training.

After basic training and tech school (which added up to 11 months of waiting) they were able to start their life together at their first duty station; and they lived happily ever after....

If only it were that easy... despite that we are still happily married (even after 9 years of marriage people think we are newlyweds) our dreams of having a Baby Cupcake Bud were crushed in mid 2003. A random doctors appointment turned into us being told that the doctor thought I had uterine cancer (all this assumption off of some hair patterning on my stomach). She told me I had to have and emergency ultrasound and tests and then in a week I’d probably be having a hysterectomy. My world turned upside down and in 2.9 seconds at that.

After waiting for the test results and walking in a haze that felt drug induced I finally got the call that I did not have cancer, but that I needed to see an endo specialist. The day we met with the endo doctor our life changed forever. I was told I had PCOS. At that time they hardly knew anything and what they did know wasn’t completely true. For years we went on thinking we could NEVER have a baby and the only possibility of having a baby would mean fertility treatments and drugs and a whole lot a stress.

Of course we decided we’d go ahead and meet with an infertility specialist and start the process. Well, after lots of paper work, testing, charting days and months and then couple years went by and all that came of it was me feeling like a lab rat and our personal life invaded.... and I decided my body and spirit just could not take it any more. My light was about to be extinguished and I wanted to find me again.

This is when Mr. Cupcake Bud and I decided that we wanted to take a break and put it in God’s hands. We fully believe He can make the impossible possible. So, I did some researching on PCOS on my own. It was then that I wanted to try the natural route because I was reading a lot of ladies with PCOS had success getting pregnant. So I cleared out the fridge headed to the store and bought vitamins, supplements and new food. I also bought myself a gym membership and started working out. Four months later and 50+ pounds lighter my husband came home for mid tour and of course any military wife probably knows what happens then ;)

Well, the day before Christmas we found out we were pregnant. It was our little miracle and I can’t explain how excited I was and how thankful to God I was. Mr. Cupcake Bud had to go back overseas to finish his time. Leaving Cupcake Bud all alone... again. Which made what happened a few weeks later even harder to deal with. Cupcake Bud lost the little miracle cupcake and was crushed.

It was very hard to bounce back from and I subconsciously sabotaged myself because I was fearful that if I stepped foot on the treadmill or kept at my current weight or went down I would have to go through it all over again. And I just couldn’t do it. On the outside I was smiling and I was living my life, but inside fear was gripping me. Well, now two some years later I woke up and realized I put the weight back on and that who I saw was not me at all.

So Mr Cupcake Bud and I are jumping back on the TTC bandwagon. I am facing PCOS head on and going to get back control of what it took from me again. So here’s to my journey of going the natural route coupled with faith. I hope you all will join us on our journey and see another side to TTC that I know is not for everyone, but it’s what worked for us before and it will work for us again.

Many hugs, Cupcake Bud