December 2, 2010

I Never Test on Thursdays

But today I did. It felt like the right thing to do.

And there it was.

A second, oh-so-faint line.

I don't even have a picture for you, because I took it with Mr. CB's phone and he hasn't emailed it to me. I'll get one up soonish.

Faint, but it was there.

This was my conversation this morning with Mr. CB:

Me: Honey?

MrCB: ::groanmumbleugh:: (he was sleeping, poor guy)

Me: Come here.

MrCB: No.

Me: It's positive.

MrCB: I thought it was too early to test.

Me: Regardless, it's still positive.

And then there were hugs and kisses and me crying like a loon.

So there it is. A BFP. I am equal parts thrilled (I spent the morning sending up "thank you" prayers every five to ten minutes and bursting into tears between times), disbelieving (I checked the test at least twenty times this morning to make sure my eyes weren't just enjoying their own little joke) and terrified (intermixed with the thank you prayers were "please let this baby stick. and be healthy. and happy." prayers). Being among the TTC community for the past nine months has taught me nothing if not that a new baby life is fragile and oh-so-fleeting sometimes, and while the "M" word is in the back of my mind, I am refusing to allow it space in my conscious thoughts.

My EDD, according to FF, is August 16. August. Meaning, God willing, I will be holding Baby CB this time next year. And they will be almost four months old. I'm in shock, and I don't think it's really hit me yet.

Praying, praying, praying,

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