October 21, 2010


Oh wow, I never thought I would see this day! Monday was our anniversary (11dpIUI for me). I tested for kicks and also because I am a moron and of course saw the same old stark white BFN on a FRER. I also had cramps and a backache and was feeling overall despodent and pathetic. I even though of asking DH if we could postpone our anniversary dinner since I was in such a sucktacular mood. I drank wine quite liberally since I was pretty much convinced that there was no way in hell I was KU. We did end up going out and having a lovely time. Literally, as soon as we left the restaurant, I got awful cramps and started to feel very ill. My stomach got super bloated and I had vomiting and diarrhea (sorry if TMI) throughout the night and the following morning.

I felt like a miserable basketcase and noticed my skin was breaking out a little, too -- great, I have a stomach virus AND I am super PMSy I thought. Awesome. My temps were staying consistently high, but since I was certain I was sick with some GI virus, I was convinced this was some evil tease caused by my "illness" (ahem, pregnancy). Yesterday morning at 13dpIUI I could once again no longer resist my primal urge to pee on things, even though I was still convinced I couldn't be pregnant (but pg or stomach bug, a POAS addict like myself could not be talked down from peeing on something with a 98.8 temp at 13dpIUI).

What I saw was quite the curiosity--a vague hint of a vague hint of a vague hint of a faint (evap?) line. I shoved it in Mr. Blueberry Bud's face for him to scrutinize and he told me he did see the faint shadow to which I was referring but that was definitely a negative pregnancy test that he was staring at. BFN or not, I had never seen anything quite like it before, so it was slightly suspicious.

Fast-forward to 6AM this morning, as I was poised to see that my temp plummeted to 97.5F...BUT it was holding steady at 98.8F. Again, convinced that this couldn't really be it after being used to so much disappointment, I half-heartedly POAS. I am not sure why this morning was so different, but for the first time ever, I didn't anxiously hover over the test to see it develop. I walked away, checked my email, and calmy returned 3 or 4 minutes later. My hand shook as I saw that second clear line, the second line that I was so convinced I would never get to experience after so many stark white BFNs. I didn't cry or scream, I just walked over to DH with the pee stick, shaking, and said "I think I'm pregnant?" Our EDD is 6/30/10 based on the day of IUI and O. Today I had my first beta drawn (14dpIUI). It was 42, which is not really great, but I am praying for good news next week when I have my second beta drawn and I am so, so grateful to just have gotten this far. It feels like a miracle.

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