August 4, 2010

Frankie says "Relax"

I am sure that every single one of you ladies who ever TTC has heard the phrase that all TTC women cringe at: "Just relax and it will happen." Really is that all it takes? Why didn't you tell me eight months ago? I thought we had to have sex multiple times around my time of ovulation. Now I know exactly what we have been doing wrong. Geesh!

Many people in our lives know that Mr. PB and I are TTC (I just can't keep anything secret), but no one really knows the extent to which we are trying. My good friend, who is also TTC, and my mother are the only two that I have even mentioned charting and opks to, and even then it has just been in passing. For everyone else I normally just say "We are just being really relaxed about it and seeing what happens." HA! Those people who actually really know me must know that I am lying through my teeth. I don't do anything that way. I mean, I already know exactly what parks in Disney Mr. PB and I are going to on what days and what rides we are going to go to first. It is just the way my brain works; why in the world would I use the "relax" philosophy when it comes to conceiving my child.

My mother imparted the "relax" philosophy on me earlier last week when I told her that AF had come and I was making myself feel better with a cheeseburger and fries (5 PMS food EVER!). These were her exact words "Don't worry so much about making sure that it is 'perfect' time, just do enjoy it and do it when it comes naturally." Gee, thanks mom for the sex advice. Now how am I really supposed to respond to that? "Okay, but then don't expect a grandchild for another few year. Mr. PB only really wants sex about once a week and sometimes that is stretching it." Yes, Mr. PB is one of those guys, but he didn't spring it on me until we were together for about 7 months and already madly in love. Not to get too much in detail, but I am a girl who could enjoy it nightly and we did at the beginning. However, now if I left things up to Mr. PB, we would be together maybe once a week, twice if I was real lucky. See the problem with the "relax" wisdom here? There is only so many times a girl can try to seduce her man (failing frequently) without him figuring out that it is that time of the month. I found quickly that it worked better if I just told him it was BDing time. Is this really information I could give to my mother to contradict her "relax" wisdom? Probably not. Now don't get me wrong, Mr. PB and I do have a great sex life; I just can't rely on our normal schedule to help us conceive.

As the summer is drawing quickly to a close and August 27th is creeping closer and closer, I am painfully aware that the "When are you having children" question and the "relax" wisdom will be hitting me more frequently as I return to work. I have decided I need a witty yet informative comeback that would keep further questions at bay. This witty yet informative comeback however has not been created yet...suggestions??

I think I may just put the "relax" wisdom out of my mind for the next week and focus on the things that are occurring right now: our anniversary, our Disney vacation, and that very special time in a TTC woman's life, waiting to O. Here's to a great week, a fantastic anniversary celebration and hopefully a Disney baby. Maybe that could be my comeback: "Actually relaxing doesn't help. However Mickey Mouse, OPKs and charting seem to do the job perfectly!"


Silver Rose said...

I like the mentioning Mickey Mouse...that'll take them back a step! Good luck this month, and I for one agree with you that relaxing will just get you relaxed....

Cherry Bud said...

I love the "relax" advice. It's second only to the "My friends X and Y tried for 6 years before it happened for them!"

Yea...that's not helpful, but thanks.

Have a great time at Disney and here's to a Disney baby!

June Bud said...

Geeesh, I have heard to relax a lot too...Don't u think by now I would be pregnant if I just relaxed LOL!!!! I am a guidance counselor, and I know your pain about questions at big day to return is the 16th!!

Sarcastic Bud said...

I usually tell people that we are just enjoying practing for a baby, not making one yet.

Or if you're feeling especially cruel (and lewd) you can tell them that you and your husband aren't ready to give up butt sex yet :)

That one usually shuts everyone up.


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