Then I catch myself. Because I thought that last time too.
It's so weird. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel - but even though I'm gearing up for IVF #2, I still find myself just in this purgatory between IVF failure and IVF possibility.
It's even harder now knowing that this is all my fault. I can't blame the sperm anymore. We bypass the sperm problem by doing the IVF with ICSI. If the IVF fails, i have no one to blame but my shitty eggs. That's a tough pill to swallow.
And to add insult to injury, i'm just going to bitch about the BCPs, AKA devil pills, for a minute. I've been on them for 5 weeks, and I have 2 1/2 more to go. Last week I started spotting, and this week, i'm full on bleeding. Bright red, clots, fun fun fun. It's not heavy - but I have to use a tampon. It was too heavy for a liner. My nurse says it's okay - just keep taking the active pills.
Great - i'm doing IVF, I have shitty eggs, I have to be on BCPs for almost 2 1/2 months and i get to bleed for 4 weeks.
Ain't life grand?
3 comments:
I can't even begin to say I know how you feel because I don't, but I say feel free to be pissed off because you deserve to feel that way. I hope the next IVF is successful.
thank you for always being so supportive of me!
Dandelion, Thanks for visiting my blog and the words of encouragement!
I didn't test my AMH, but I did have my FSH tested and it was 6.8 one time and 7.9 another time. I also did the clomid challenge test and on CD10, my FSH was borderline at 9.8 (although on CD 3) it had been 6.8. So, my doc isn't 100% sure whether I have egg quality/quantity issues or not. But, I think he's erring on the side of caution and therefore, put my on the antagonist protocol.
OH! And I wanted to ask...are you in the bay area? I'm wondering, b/c we were also going to go with a Dr. Z from Foster City!
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