January 17, 2010

This cycle is a bust!

Thank you all who welcomed me to BB on my last post! It was very appreciated. I have a very busy week ahead of me with a trip to New York (training for work!) so I figured now is a good time to continue my writing.

Well, after being 110% sure I was KU this cycle, I started spotting tonight. AF should be here tomorrow morning, un-welcomed of course. This was our first cycle charting & using OPKs and our third cycle trying. It's been 5 months now since our loss and I'm scared that a 2010 baby isn't in our future. Mr MB is asking me to be patient and positive - easier said than done!

My chart looked okay this cycle, though I had quite a few ups and downs before O and after. I learned what phantom symptoms are from being on the TTCAL boards on The Bump and boy did I have them! Tender breasts, heartburn, nausea, what I thought was an implantation dip in my chart and so much more. Though now I realize I was probably reading way too much into my own body. It's all so frustrating.

I've had a hard week this week with our loss. I found a bib we bought Baby MB in Jamaica along with her sonogram photos. That was a little heart wrenching. Though, we did find a really nice box that we are going to refinish and make into a memory box that way all of Baby MB's stuff is in one place.

This TTC journey has its ups and downs, and I guess I'm in it to win it (win=bringing a Baby MB home), so you're stuck with me! For this next cycle, I'm going to really focus on fitness training at the gym and my health. I'm hoping that will keep me focused on other things besides baby makin' (yeah right!).



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