Capable

Life has been so chaotic as of late. DH was laid off, I have been trying to get ready for the holidays, trying to pick up extra hours at work, job-searching, the list goes on. At the same time I feel basically invisible. I haven't been present on my online forums except in lurking spirit, and just long enough to catch up on news. I haven't spent time with friends. I haven't cleaned my house. I have basically felt like I am rushing through life in shadow-form.....going through the motions, but completely unnoticed.

I've been going through some major self-reflection. Looking at my life, my goals, my values. Trying to find daily inspiration. Thinking not of what I am supposed to do, but what makes me fulfilled. So I apologize in advance that this post is a little deep, bear with me.

There is a book that I just bought called "ONE". You can pick it up at any Starbucks. It is absolutely fricking fantastic. Light, inspirational reading. Cheap. Worth every penny. As a person who is going through a time of "Who am I, and what is my life?", this book has been instrumental in helping me to look more deeply at myself. In addition, I have been totally girl-crushing on Ingrid Michaelson who has some of the most amazing music out there. On that note.......

I have also been hitting the gym like a maniac. For the first time in my life I can actually understand what a "runner's high" is......and I NEVER thought I would say that. I signed up for a 5K. I actually RAN a 5k today at the gym. And then I did 10 miles on the bike and lifted. And why does this matter at all?? Because I NEVER thought I was capable of this. As I was stretching after my run, I realized that if I am capable of this one small thing that I was sure I could never do, what else am I capable of?? How have I been limiting myself.....not allowing myself to reach my full potential??

And what in God's green earth does this have to do with Ingrid Michaelson?? Well.......in addition to every other amazing song that she has written, there is one called "Turn to Stone" that I am totally loving. It says, "Let's go to sleep with clearer heads and hearts to big to fit our beds, and maybe we won't feel so alone..." So I will keep thinking about how to be a better person. How to reach my potential. And how to live more fully and love more deeply. And maybe in the process I will discover what I am truly capable of.

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/turn-to-stone/id315034498?i=315035185