October 20, 2009

When she's right around the corner....

So this morning, I can't decide what's worse. Could it be the actual arrival of AF, or a temp drop so low that you know she's arriving any minute?

Three days ago my temperature starting dropping, just a little. I almost wanted to blame it on the colder weather. Two days ago, it dropped a little more, but was still well above my coverline. Today? It plummeted. I know the inevitable is around the corner, and to me, that is more disheartening than her arrival.

So, I suppose that any minute, or hour I'll be saying something to the effect of "onto cycle #4!". For anyone TTC, whether they be in cycle #1, or cycle #12, you know the feeling. For me it's a, stay home in pajamas and curl up on the couch with a good book feeling. It's a wanting every single comfort in the world because I'm just THAT sad feeling. It's so frustrating knowing that you did everything right and the outcome was so wrong. Mr. Snow Bud and I are such "fixers". If there is a problem, we fix it. With this, there is no fixing. There isn't a single thing we could have done more, different, or less. It is sad, and it is frustrating, and it is a situation in which you just have to buckle down and continue on, head down and forward. Much like making your way through a blizzard.

I really do commend those who have gone through this much longer than myself. I find strength in the fact that I'm not the only one. I am comforted when I read stories of women TTC much longer than myself, and finally receiving their longed for BFP.

As for myself? Today sounds like a good day to curl up in pajamas on the couch, with the dogs laying all over me, reading a good book.

Until next time,
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My two favorite couch buddies


Obsessive Bud said...

Wow SB you sound JUST like me. I have this same feeling when I start spotting before AF. It just breaks my heart and the best thing to do is curl up on the couch watch ridiculous chick flicks, read a book, or just sit there thinking. Good Luck in Cycle #4! Hopefully that is the lucky cycle!

Worry Bud said...

Ditto - I think you, me & OB are the same person! GL on cycle #4!!!

Worry Bud said...

PS - your doggies are cuties!

Brainy Bud said...

I love the pic of your dogs!


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