October 28, 2009

Thoughts On Becoming A Mother.

Author Unknown

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought,
without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation
are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,
knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight,
this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends
will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child
that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife,
a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.


Courtney said...

While I understand the sentiment behind this poem, you should know that it comes across as insensitive and condescending to those of us who did not struggle to get pregnant. I will love my child just as much and be just as good a mother as those who have struggled.

Dandelion Bud said...

those who were lucky enough to not have to struggle to get their miracles should be understanding enough to know that sometimes someone who struggles needs something like this poem to lift their spirits.

I am 100% certain that Love Bud did not intend any offense whatsoever.

This is a blog for women in ALL stages of TTC and some are much more fortunate than others. The beauty of Bloomin' Babies is that we get to look through the eyes of another, and experience things the way they do.

People that have survived cancer say they have a much greater appreciation of life than someone who hasn't. That isn't to say that someone who hasn't experienced cancer doesn't appreciate life - they just don't appreciate it in the same way.

Love Bud didn't write the poem she posted. But I can see the beauty in it. And I can appreciate it for what it's meaning is and for how she meant it to be read.

and it's not just because I'm having Trouble TTC.


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