October 11, 2009

The Talks Continue

DH and I have been in discussions about when to TTC for about 8 months now. We know that it will be soon, but we have not pin-pointed a specific month, as right now it seems that everything is riding on me having a new job.....which I have been praying for for 3 years. Literally. It gets so discouraging, knowing that we are both ready to start our family but for some reason things are not working out like we had hoped. 8 months ago, DH wasn't ready yet, but I was and I bit my tongue so as not to make him feel pressured. I wanted him to be ready in his OWN time, not mine. I never imagined that 8 months later it would be a job that we would be waiting on, NOT DH.

Last night we were talking, and as happens very regularly, our conversation drifted towards having kids. DH has been doing what he calls "independant research". Talking with friends who have kids, researching expenses, etc., and every independant source he has talked to has told him that having kids was the best thing that ever happened to them. These are "guys' guys," people he played football and partied with in college. I think it means something different coming from them that it ever would coming from me. They have grown up, and moved on, but haven't lost themselves in spite of having families. I think that is reassuring to him.

If you are the praying kind, or even if not, if you could send some good thoughts our way with regards to the job situation, we would really appreciate it. At this point, getting a job would be equivalent to a BFP......because finally after all of this wait, we would be able to TRY. That is all I want, just to try.



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