October 23, 2009

I'm an emotional wreck!

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Last night, I was an emotional wreck! I completely broke down and felt like the worst mother-to-be in the world. I sat in my living room floor, in the dark, just sobbing uncontrollably stating all types of horrible things that I won't mention here because I know so many of you would love to be in my position right now (KU). Basically, after about an hour of Mr. BrainyBud trying to get to the root of the problem, we basically just decided that I am so scared of being pregnant. Not being a mother, just the next 9 months part. I don't know what possessed me to think that I am strong enough to handle this. I just felt that I couldn't do it. Of course I would never abort, no way.... and I'm definitely ready to be a mom.... but I am just terrified to be going through all of this. Terrified. I wouldn't wish last night's meltdown on anyone, but just know that I'm better today, but still scared if I am going to be able to do this.

OH! and the spotting went away yesterday! so here's hoping for another good day!

FAITH, love and baby flutters,
Mrs. BrainyBud


Hopeful Bud said...

So sorry honey! I hope you are feeling better today. Please know that you are not alone, and I think it's okay and healthy to have fears of the unknown especially when really this baby is totally out of your hands. All you can do is make sure you are taking care of yourself (i.e. eating healthy, taking PNV, and praying) the rest is up to God. Take care of yourself!


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