October 13, 2009

Disheartening

Well, I tested this morning and it was a BFN. I am so sad and heartbroken. I keep fighting off the tears. I just knew it was positive. I had told myself to think positively, know that you are pregnant and you will be. Nope, I guess not. I know they say that it isn't over until you get your period, but the problem is that I don't know when that will be. Last cycle was the longest cycle I have EVER had. I was always a "28 day cycle kind of girl" and now that it matters, I'm not. I realize that 35 days really isn't that long, but it is when you expect it to be consistently around 28.

My plan of action is that if AF doesn't show by Friday, I am going to test again. However, I don't know if I even want to do that. Right now, my heart is so heart and I am so sad, that I don't want to see another negative if I don't have to. I don't even want to get on my favorite message board right now, because I am afraid I will just be filled with hurt and envy. I don't know how women do this over and over again.

Thank you for reading this and understanding.

6 comments:

Stef said...

Nothing I say is going to make this better so I just wanted to let you know I'm here for you, and praying for you. **hugs**

Sunshine Bud said...

oh I'm so sorry. Huge hugs and if you need to vent, you know how to find me.

Jenifire said...

Hang in there Sugar. Nothing I say is going to help, but we do understand. Hugs for you and lots of prayers headed your way. Msg me if you want to chat...

Dandelion Bud said...

i understand.

Sugar Bud said...

Thank you for your sweet thoughts!

Emily & Blake said...

I know this is so hard. The process can be overwhelming and frustrating. Hang in there. ((hugs)) - (EmilyS2)

 

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