September 8, 2009

Wishful Thinking

Well, like I have said before, this is our first month off the pill and TTA. We only plan to do this for two cycles and then we start trying for a baby.

As I sit here, I have tears in my eyes because my chart led me to believe that I might possibly be KU. I tested and sure enough, I am not. I know this was not the month we planned to start TTC, but I sure was hoping. I am so sad and know that it was just wishful thinking.

I do not know how the women that have been trying for months or even years can do this over and over and over with a BFN every time.

Perhaps I shouldn't have let anyone see my chart.
Perhaps we should have been more careful so that there were no questions.
Perhaps my body will do this to me for months and this is just the beginning.

The only think I do know is that it is in God's hands and not mine.

I know that I shouldn't be concerned and, really, I'm not. I'm just really disappointed.

Oh well.


Laura said...

I feel your pain. We are TTA right now too but had ONE slip up last month at a totally improbably time, and a part of me still really really hoped that it would lead to a very happy Woops! Keep your chin up!


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