September 22, 2009

Unofficially in the 2WW

I made it to the 2WW. I don't have crosshairs on FF yet, but I expect the next two days to bring higher temps, and an O date of 9/21. I know most people dread the 2WW, but I am so happy once it gets here. For me, it's harder being in the beginning of the cycle and the uncertainty of waiting to O. Plus trying to time sex just right, and knowing you have your short span of time to get it all right to make a baby. I guess it doesn't help that I spend over two weeks from the start of AF until ovulation, and only have 9 or 10 days in my 2WW. With my spotting issues I always think that if I make it to day 8 with no spotting there really could be a chance. So a week from today I could be a very excited girl!

I had thought that the beginning of this cycle that I didn't really have much hope...the RE wants to switch my meds and from my u/s at my last appointment my lining and follicles didn't look that great. I was already looking ahead to next month and cycle 8...starting fresh with a new doctor, new meds, more visits to check that everything was working. But now that I am right past ovulation, I am getting my hopes up again. I keep thinking it could happen this month. I just had the HSG and fertility increases after that procedure. If I get pregnant this month, I will save so much money by not having to keep seeing the specialist. My due date would be June 14, which is exactly a year after my best friend's had their babies (6/3 and 6/16) and wouldn't it be fun to have birthday parties for all our kids together one day. I don't want to do this to myself...be hopeful and optimistic and then be crushed when it doesn't happen. But I just can't help it...I want to be hopeful and I want to be optimistic. I just need to figure out how to not be devastated if this isn't our month.

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