September 7, 2009

I'm lacking in everything, but jealousy.

I'm going to O any day now - and a couple of things have occurred to me...
  • i've been extremely lax in my temp taking this cycle
  • i've had several glasses of wine this month - more than I've had since the breast cancer scare started
  • i've even been lax in my green tea drinking
More than anything else I've noticed this month is the hordes of pregnant women I'm surrounded by... those that are announcing their pregnancies, those that are in various trimesters and those ready to deliver.

In the past few months i've wondered at some women who seemed so affected by these other pregnancies, becacuse i didn't feel the same pain they did.

I do now.

Every announcement, every belly, every newborn coo makes me wonder if and when it will be me.

The jealousy is an ice pick through my heart. Physical pain. An actual ache.

I hope my lackadaisical attitude isn't because i'm giving up.

Will it ever be my turn?


Domestic Princess said...

I agree...why is it every time I turn around in the store/work/BBQ there is another pregnant women with her cute bellie in some cute outfit? Is this a pregnancy conspiracy? Or the recession?

C said...

I feel the same way! And I keep trying to give up but I just can't.. hopefully it will be our turn soon!

wachswifey said...

Oh Dandelion!!! I wish there was something I could say/do to help. I knwo that I have never been in your exact position but I know how badly it hurts when others are announcing their pregnancies, having their babies, etc. I am praying for you, and when you get your BFP I will be jumping for joy for you!!!!


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