October 13, 2011

Spotting: Day 6 and my Emotional State

Yup, that's right... What I thought was AF seems to be a bit of a false alarm - or even AF incognito. Who knows?! All I know is that I have spotted for 6 days straight - ONLY when I wipe. It's got a light brown tint to it, and sort of comes and goes. I wasted two, perfectly good, pads that didn't get so much as a stain on them. This has NEVER happened to me before... And honestly, I don't know what to make of it.

I tried doing a little research on my situation, and read that it could possibly mean I am/was ovulating. That might explain it, since I recently got back on Metformin and started a strict diet to lose some weight (-7lbs). I also read it could be a hormonal imbalance. I have no idea. I am thinking of waiting a few weeks to see if AF shows, or if I POAS again (just for shits and giggles - I highly doubt I'm KU).

One thing is for sure... With all this period or no period fiasco, and other personal things that occurred with my family, my EDD (well, what would've been, anyway) came and went. It would've been Wednesday, the 12th. Can you believe it? I've come a long way since that's surprise BFP back in February. On top of the fact that it has been an INSANE year - at least for me. Bittersweet, you might say, from start until present day. I am kind of ready for it to be over, but who knows what these last few months have in store for us? Only time will tell...

I am also kind of desensitized to this whole TTC after a loss thing. Sort of numb, you might say. So many people around me are either pregnant or giving birth. I've just learned to put my own "issues" aside, and truly be happy for the new, and repeat, mommies in my life. I can't be happier for my fellow Buds (especially Cactus Bud, who was due around the same time as I) who have recently given birth to their LOs, and for those who are expecting. I am confident that my day will come too. Maybe, just maybe, this has all been a test. I have always been so accustomed to getting my way, and getting what I want when I want it (total Diva, I know), and maybe this is God's way of telling me to step back and look at the big picture, for a moment. It's not all about me, and that's more than OK. When it's my turn, I know everything will work itself out. I just know it.

Staying positive :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


Explorer Bud said...

Keep up all the positiveness it is helpful when things are not going as planned!! Good luck and hopefully AF will come in full force already!!


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