February 17, 2011

This is the point where I start to lose it.

10 DPO. I think this is officially the worst day of TTC. I am on the cusp of being A) pregnant B) not pregnant and/or C) crazy. Right now I am officially C. I will be finding out in the next few days if I am either A or B. According to the test I took this morning I am still classified as B. The test was so white that even if I squinted real hard and cocked my head at a 45* angle I still couldn't envision that imaginary second line. You know, that second line you desperately pretend is there to lessen the blow of a BFN? Or am I the only one who does this?

10 DPO is the most stressful day of TTC because I start second guessing everything. Every twinge, every gas bubble, every yawn. It's all up for interpretation. And I am at the point where I can't distinguish how I feel. Am I nauseated? I think so. But then again, maybe I just overate at dinner tonight? And I'm kinda tired. But aren't I always tired this time at night? IDK, I can't really remember if I usually am or not. And FFS, I am sick of feeling myself up multiple times a day to see if my boobs hurt. The only thing I can conclude is my right nipple is sore. Weird. Does that classify as sore boobs? Eff, I don't know. If I weren't in my 2WW, I wouldn't be blinded by potential phantom symptoms and I could figure these things out.

And just to be sure that my pregnancy hopes are kept alive, my chart took a rather large temp jump this morning. If I am not pregnant this cycle I am going to be super pissed! And I vow to stop charting after O is verified. Eff that. No more being lead on by pretty charts.

So please send me all your sanity vibes/dust/whatever you want to call it so I don't lose my mind over the next few days :)

PB&J Bud


Sunflower Bud said...

10 dpo is so difficult. :(

I have my fingers crossed for you!

Esther Noelle said...

I am feeling exactly like you today too!!! I'm 10 DPO but for me I'm "2 days late" for my cycles and still getting BFNs! WTH? SOOO annoying! And I've never been a POAS addict but this (randomly cycle #24) I'm going crazy through the HPTs! I usually come on here to read how Explorer bud is doing (I'm her friend) but was grateful to see your post today because that is exactly where I am too. :)

Here's my version of this post I posted the other night...


Jen J. said...

:( I know exactly how you feel - I felt like that when I was charting. Stopping charting after O will def help with your sanity. GL to you!


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