November 24, 2010

Exhale...

Now I can breathe. All week, I've held my breath worrying and waiting for the 3rd beta.

3, 456.

Doubling time of just shy of 24 hours.

In my nurse's words, "you can breathe now."

I promised to stop testing. Promised to try to stop worrying. Promised to start just enjoying what we've worked so hard to achieve.

I'm pregnant.

I'm going to be a mother again.

I have one hell of a beta.

First ultrasound is Tuesday morning.

I have SO much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

The craziest thing though? It's been almost 2 years of tears, depression, crying, despair, struggle and almost giving up. And now that we're finally at this point.... those 2 years don't feel quite so long anymore. I had no idea it could feel like this. All that hurt and anguish and bitter just melted away and is replaced by joy and complete and utter awe.

My prayers are with each and every one of my fellow Buds who are struggling right now. Hurting. Feeling that anguish and despair. That makes this so bittersweet for me. I want each of you to be feeling this. And I can't wait until the day that you do. A day that I know will come. You are not alone. And you are supported and loved.

4 comments:

Smudge's Mom said...

in your nurse's words? Because no other nurse you know has been telling you that for weeks now.

you're so lucky that A) i can't run and B) I won't throw heavy objects at pregnant chicks.

<3

Planner Bud said...

Congrats!

Jen J. said...

Oh yaaay, that's awesome! GL @ the u/s - can't wait to see pics of your little bean!

Cherry Bud said...

YAY!
I am so happy for you, m'dear.

 

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