November 7, 2010

6w3d update

I realized I hadn't updated in quite a while! Last Monday I had my 3rd beta draw at 25 dpiui (5w4d). My hcg level was 3567, up from 279 at 18 dpiui, so thankfully there was a nice doubling. We also saw the RE that same afternoon. He did do an u/s, though he warned us that there would likely not be much to see. All we could really see was a small gestational sac, but it did give us peace of mind that at least Baby G implanted in my uterus. Also, we only saw one sac, so while we can't quite yet rule out multiples, all indications point towards a singleton pregnancy.

Prof. L told us that our chances of an early miscarriage are 15%, compared to the normal 10%, but if we are able to detect a fetal heartbeat, the chance will decrease to ~7% and will again further decrease to 3% at the end of first tri. I am still so scared but at the same time so hopeful, too. When I was struggling to get pregnant, it was difficult to think beyond the excitement and thrill of some time getting a BFP. Now that I am there, I haven't really experienced the ecstacy I imagined because I am so frightened to lose the little life growing inside me. I am so scared of waking up one day soon to "game over" and having to go back to square one with the dreaded fertility treatments.

Everything about this process has been so hard and uncertain until now, it is difficult to imagine that anything could proceed smoothly without lots of emotional pain. In short, after a lot of disappointment, finally being pregnant just feels too good to be true. I am just trying to remember, that even if my odds ARE worse than the average gal, the odds still are in my favor that this pregnancy will continue and I will get my Baby G at the end of it all.

Our next u/s will be next Sunday (exactly a week from today) at 7w3d. I pray that I will get to see our baby's strong and perfect heartbeat, the most beautiful image I can possibly imagine.


Cherry Bud said...

Sticky baby dust to you! I am hoping and praying this is it for you!


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