October 4, 2010

I am not alone!

Ladies I knew with all of you out there, that I wasn't alone, but there were definitely times that I felt that way with Mr. PB. While is Mr. PB is oddly sensitive at time, he is not one who lets his feelings out. I have known that he wants kids, but I never really believed that this long road we have been on was bothering him. That is until this past week. We were filling out forms for our RE appointment at the end of the month, and I was reading off a list of infertility treatments for men. With each one I read, he got more and more quiet. Afterward, he went downstairs and did not talk to me much that night. This weekend we went to an anniversary party for a family friend at her son and daughter-in-laws. This couple has a cute little girl almost one year old. I spent a good twenty minutes holding and playing with her; Mr. PB even held her for a bit (before her lip started to poke out and her eyes welled up). It wasn't until we got home that he said "This sucks." Though not much, it was the first time he every expressed frustration at this whole situation. We spent a good amount of time discussing it and how hard it is. It was absolutely amazing to hear that it was so difficult for him. Do I want him to be upset? Absolutely not. But I can't help but admit that it was nice to hear that I am not the only one bothered by this.

We are both looking forward to our appointment on the 28th. I really hope I can cancel, but a huge part of me knows this isn't going to happen. Oh well we will see what happens. It is just nice to know I have a real partner in this. You ladies are great and all and I absolutely need your support, but nothing matches being held by the guy who knows everything about you and will support you anyways.
 

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