The Waiting Game

September was going to be the magic month for us. We were certain Mr.Fitness Bud would have a job, and that we would be in a good place. We were positive that September would be perfect timing because then I could take my legislative job and if we were lucky enough to get pregant quickly, the timing would work out well with the legislative session. Turns out, O came and went, and TTC was not in the cards for us this month.

As I mentioned in my previous post, my DH has been laid off for 10 months. He has applied for over 400 jobs, and while we knew the market was tough, never in a million years did we think we would be looking back at almost a year of no work. He is depressed about it. His 30th birthday is in a week and today he said to me, "What do I have to celebrate? I am 30 years old, I have no job, no kids, my mom just died.......I'm not looking forward to this one." It killed me. He is the most optimistic person I have ever met, so seeing him down is tragic to me.

I planned a big party with all of his friends to try to lift him out of his slump, so I am looking forward to next Saturday and hoping that it turns out to be a celebration after all. We are having tacos-in-a-bag (which are awesome if you have never had them before), a keg, lawn games, and just to kick it old school, a beer-pong tournament. :) I also picked out some Armani aviator sunglasses that DH has been wanting for awhile but would never buy for himself. I am hoping that he will ultimately look back on this birthday and feel happy. I am also hoping that this will be his last birthday before he becomes a father. We both want that so much.

I go back and forth between knowing that the responsible thing to do is WAIT until he actually has a job, and saying "The heck with it!" and starting now, based on the assumption that within the next 9 months he WILL find one. I feel like I don't know what is realistic or rational anymore, because everything that we thought a year ago is completely different from what our reality is now.

If you are the praying kind, I would appreciate your prayers for my husband to find work, and for me too. After November I will be looking as well, and while my prospects seem to be very promising, I am learning that nothing is as it seems.