September 6, 2010

Let's try it all!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but I started up work again last week, and Mr. PB and I have been going through a little rocky period. I just haven't been able to find the time or the energy to post.

Right now I am gearing up to O so Mr. PB and I are trying to do a little BDing. We started using Pre-Seed last night. I always told myself that this is something I don't need, so I won't get it. However, your opinions tend to change once cycle 9 starts up. I am ready and willing to try it all. Pre-seed is just one of the things that I am adding this month. The other is acupuncture.

If you asked me last year at this time if I would ever do acupuncture, I would have laughed. I have a slight fear of needles and could never imagine getting poked with one on purpose. However, after eight months of trying, doing some research, and talking with a friend who goes to acupuncture frequently. I decided to give a try. At first I was a little nervous about telling the doctor that I was there for fertility problems. Just saying aloud to someone who isn't my family makes it a little more real that we have been trying for over 8 months and still nothing. The doctor spent quite a bit of time explaining the thought behind fertility and acupuncture and repeated about eight times that "it will take at least a few cycles for results" and "there is no definitive cause and effect that acupuncture will cause pregnancy." After I reassured him that I know this, he put about 20 needles in my arms and legs and left me to relax. This was the part I was most afraid of. I do not relax often and sitting basically still doing nothing for 45 minutes was something I have never done. However, I focused on breathing and the soothing music, and I found that I actually really enjoyed it. I don't know if it will do anything, but just the fact that it makes me relax and focus on myself for 45 minutes is worth it.

With these two things in place, I am trying to continue my TTC journey with a more positive outlook, even though babies seem to be everywhere. I often think about the Michael Buble song "Haven't met you yet". Even though it is written about a romantic couple, it can easily be transferred to someone trying to conceive and thinking about her future baby. These few lines help me get through some of the tougher days. "You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet"
I have been working TTC and will continue until it happens, but I know that when I finally do get pregnant and then have my little baby in my arms, I will give everything and anything he/she needs to make him/her happy.

I guess overall I can say that I am in a fairly good place right now. Definitely a lot better than I was a little over a week ago. I just hope the positivity can last even if we have to go into another cycle.



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