The Sweetest Sound in the World

I really considered getting a doppler once I graduated from Dr Z, to sustain me during the long waits between OB appointments. (How anyone expects an infertility patient to be able to act like a "normal" pregnant woman is beyond me.) I did my research, found the best ones that could hear an early heartbeat that wouldn't completely break the bank, and started stalking ebay and craigslist (nationwide) so I didn't have to pay full price.

Then I started bleeding. Stupid subchorionic hematoma.

What a nightmare that was. Thankfully my doctor's office is wonderful (we love Dr Loh and nurse Maggie) and we were able to see that Smudge was okay right away... but now the anxiety level was even higher. How on earth was I supposed to handle the long wait between appointments now?! Bleeding, scared to death? That's conducive to relaxation. Sure.

So I made a plea to a group of women who know I how feel. Fellow infertiles, both pregnant and those who already have their take home baby/ies. And someone came through.

Thanks to the kindness of strangers, I now have a doppler I can call my own. I tried to pay for shipping, and I promised I would return it in 6 months, but she says no. She's 41 and she's done. It's mine.

And last night, for the first time, we heard Smudge's heartbeat. Not a ultrasound simulation in m-mode. Smudge's actual heartbeat.

Want to hear? It's music to my ears.