November 4, 2009

Finally started my baby journal this week

I always dreamed of writing letters to my unborn child when I found out I was pregnant. However, for the last five weeks that I have known I was pregnant I haven't been able to start them. I think it was because I was waiting for our pregnancy to be confirmed by a doctor before becoming too attached. Don't get me wrong, I have loved and felt extremely blessed everyday since September 30th when we got our BFP, but for some reason it didn't feel completely real until the doctor said "Yes, you are pregnant" on Monday. The cycle that I got pregnant was one that I fully laid it in God's hands. I fully trusted his timing and plan and I think I am desperately trying to keep that faithfulness and mentality. Part of me thought that if I started the journal too soon that it would be like trying to hold on to something that wasn't in my hands. So I continue to lay Baby Hopeful Bud at the feet of God and trust him. Probably sounds completely silly and illogical, and frankly that is exactly the way I feel today.

On Monday at our doctor's appointment, she confirmed that we are 9 weeks pregnant with an estimated due date of June 7, 2010. She said everything looked and felt perfectly. Then she humored me by trying to find a heartbeat with the doppler, but we could not hear one since it's still a bit early. Oh well, it's something to look forward to at our next appointment.

Before going to bed on Monday night, I started my baby journal. It was fun thinking back over the last five weeks. The emotions I've felt, the excitement and fear that has gone through my head. I think it will be very therapeutic, even if Baby Hopeful Bud never reads the journal once he or she is much older.

I don't have a lot more to report. I feel nauseated about every other day. Some days, like today, I'm just extremely tired and have a headache. Other days, I feel great, not even pregnant. Baby HB is currently the size of a green olive and according to is now officially a fetus. Way to go Baby HB!!! We love you and keep growing. Next week you will be the size of a prune! :)


Courtney said...

I don't think you are silly at all. It finally feels real to you and your journal will reflect those feelings toward Baby HB.
I am in the process of "letting go and Letting GOD." It is so hard to do, but needed.
Congrats on everything looking so good!


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