October 17, 2009

A new bud...

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

::stands up on podium::

Hi, my name is Mrs. Love Bud and I struggle with Infertility.

Mr. Love Bud and I have been together for almost 6 years. About a year in to our relationship we decided to forgo using any kind of contraceptive. Brave, huh?! While we weren’t TTC at the time we obviously weren’t really TTA either. My potentially getting pregnant was kind of an unspoken thing and if it had happened we would have been okay with it.

Fast forward to about a month after we got married(12/07)…..

Introducing, TOTAL MELT DOWN on my part.
It seemed like the whole 3 years prior, my never getting pregnant all started to make sense and it wasn’t good. I just KNEW deep down that there was something wrong. Mr. Love Bud and I had a very intense conversation that day. We agreed to wait 6 months before “actively” trying.
Fast forward again to May 2008, we started to BD like crazy around about the time of the month I thought I was O’ing. I made an appointment with an OB and I visited her in June 2008. After visiting with my OB in June (pre-pregnancy consult) who told me to try for about 6 months if not come back for further testing etc, in July I had a CP. After that, I started having lots of problems cycles lasting 1-2 months, pains in my ovaries and lots of other uncomfortable things. At my June appt. my doctor had brought up PCOS as a possibility but decided to go the natural route for at least 6 months before running any tests. In December 2008 my insurance was changed at work and I could no longer see my OB. So I searched for a new doctor and had to wait 2 months for an appointment on February 27, 2009. In visiting the new doctor she ran all kinds of uncomfortable tests after I explained everything that had been going on. A month later I went back in for the results and on March 27, 2009 I was formally diagnosed with PCOS. Thankfully, I had no other issues. PCOS can cause diabetes and I was extremely nervous about that. My doctor's remedy....lose weight (50lbs to be exact) and come back in 6 months. Deep down, at that moment, I wanted to cry. I walked out of the doctor's office with my game face on and a sense of determination but the reality was that I was even more discouraged than I was before I went in. About a week later it really started to sink in how "not okay" I was with all of this. I couldn't help but think to myself "big girls have babies all the time". The reality is that other than being over-weight there is nothing else wrong with me. I didn't mind watching what I ate so no further problems arose and attempting to lose a few pounds but, I did not want it to be a pre-requisite for having a baby. The reality is, even if I lost the weight before hand she could not guarantee me that it would help. So after going back and forth, crying lots and lots of tears and having my heart literally hurt 24 hours a day over the fact this is so difficult, when for others it's SO easy, I decided to go see another doctor. I also found lots of encouragement from girls on message boards in similar situations and
this site which basically stated if a doctor tells you to lose weight and come back....get a second opinion.

So that’s what I did. I made an appointment with the only RE covered under my insurance. This, of course, is over an hour from my house. Awesome.
My new doctor is amazing. She said that although doctor's will always say losing weight helps that is not an issue and we need to move past that to find a solution :) I was very happy to hear that. After the initial consult I went through a long list of testing that they do with all their new TTC patients. The testing entailed giving about 30 vials of blood….and NO I’m not exaggerating. Even the nurse couldn’t believe it. Mr. Love Bud had an SA done. The result came back good :) He was above average in all areas except morphology but since his #’s were so high in other areas she said it balanced out and there was no need for concern.
I also had an HSG done to rule out any other issues. Normally this test is done after failed cycles but my RE wanted to do it from the get go.

Here is some information on the HSG since a lot of people do not know what it is:

A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. It often is done for women who are having a hard time becoming pregnant (infertile). During a hysterosalpingogram, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube that is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes, or a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus. A blockage also could prevent sperm from moving into a fallopian tube and joining (fertilizing) an egg. A hysterosalpingogram also may find problems on the inside of the uterus that prevent a fertilized egg from attaching (implanting) to the uterine wall. Source

The HSG sucked. If you’ve never had one, be thankful.

In the end all the test came back great. I was very relieved since I was sick to my stomach with worry the whole 2 weeks before the follow-up appt. The RE met with us and we decided on a plan. We were going straight to IUI and we were going to do it with a “mini stim” combination of oral and injectable meds.
We were pumped!

Apparently, my ovaries…..not so much.

My IUI cycle was cancelled not once but twice due to this monster cyst on my right ovary. So August and September were a bust. To top it off, I had to take BCP again for the first time in almost 5 years. I mean really, how much more counter productive can you get?!
This has gotten really long and high 5 to you for making it this far if you have! I promise, I’m almost done! Add Image

This past Tuesday, CD 3, I went back in for another u/s and I was sure they were going to tell me the cyst was still there. Well….I was wrong J I guess third time is a charm because all was well with the ovaries and they sent me home with meds, Rx’s and a schedule for this month. It’s a pretty incredible feeling to know that it may FINALLY be a possibility.

So that’s how we got to today. There will be more information on our schedule in a new post. I hope you will continue to follow our journey to getting our own Little Love Bud.


Obsessive Bud said...

Good Luck LB! I'll definitely be thinking about you guys!


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