September 12, 2009

Why? - Random thoughts and worries

After some recent concerns and moving onto cycle 10, I decided to take a look at the website for the fertility clinic that was recommended by my thyroid doctor.

Once there, I started to worry and quickly became overloaded and a little depressed. My stomach was in knots and I realized I was scared. anytime I even though of picking up the phone and calling the doctor OR my health insurance, I'd started to perspire.

I had to start asking myself the following questions:

Why am I scared to call my insurance?
Why am I scared to call and make the RE appointment?
Yet, Why am I NOT scared to be pregnant or give birth?

I'm fearful! Fearful that our only hope could be so darn expensive. Fearful after watching a good friend go thru IVF and worrying that it could be me.

So, I finally had to buckle down, come to grips and face the fear & do it anyway.

I also chatted with Mr. Sunshine Bud and realized that my hindrance was just delaying his opportunity to be a parent and it wasn't fair to him.

So, finally on Friday, Sept 11th, I made the call. A call that could be the answer. The answer as to what may be the issue.

Our initial appointment / consultation will be Sept. 30th.

In the meantime, I have 27 pages of info to provide to the RE.

That's all for now - much more to come,
Sunshine Bud



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