September 13, 2009

Showers of Happiness?

As long as I have been participating in an online forum for girls with trouble trying to conceive (TTTC or 3TC), I have seen girls with sincere trepidation about attending a baby shower. To the point where they find reasons not to go... not to go shopping, not to go to the shower, not to expose themselves to the world of baby.

I never got it.

You're happy for your friend - it's not their fault you're not pregnant... you go and have a nice time.
Until today. In 90 minutes I'm going to be leaving for the baby shower of the wife of one of my oldest friends.

And I'm petrified.

I can feel the sadness already. It's seeping into my heart - it's aching.

I'm nervous for the questions, as the last to get married. All of the "when will you have children" questions... and not knowing how to answer. It's a normal question. Almost expected. And completely heartbreaking.
Because I don't know.

I want to go see my friends. I want to celebrate with them.

How do I hide that I'm breaking on the inside?


Flora Bud said...

Oh Dandelion, I cant imagine what you are going through. At this moment you should go have the best time that you can and be there for your friend. Your day will come, I have faith that you are going to get a BFP soon!!!


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