October 28, 2011

Online Pharmacy Recommendations??

I am wanting to know where you purchased your medications from if you had to pay out of pocket for them. I have my list and am trying to find the cheapest place.


October 25, 2011

8 weeks

Just for fun, a pic of my boys at the pumpkin farm


I am 8 weeks along now in my pregnancy. I don't have too much to report. Everything seems to be going good except I have more nausea than last week. I meet with my midwife for the first time this week, and I have another ultrasound in a week from today. My mom is in town visiting from Seattle. She is at her sisters this week, but is coming to see us on Saturday for a few days, so I am looking forward to seeing her. She is going to come along for my ultrasound.

I have talked to Little Lucky Bud (age 2) about the baby since I am always gagging and puking and he was concerned. I tell him that the baby is tickling my tummy and it makes me puke. When I am nauseous he tickles the baby back, then "tucks it in" and says,"shhhh, shhh, shhh" so it will go to sleep and not tickle me anymore.

He also likes to show with his hands how the baby will get, "bigger, bigger, bigger....hold the baby."
Today Little Lucky Bud woke from his nap and Baby Lucky Bud was still sleeping, so we watched videos of the development of a baby. He liked it a lot, and wanted me to put the videos on for Mr Lucky Bud when he got home. It was very cute

I saw my mom at my Aunts house for Dinner on Sunday. She never wants to hear ANY details about anything related to the procedure part of infertility: ie; medications, egg retrieval, embryo transfer, or basically anything that is uncomfortable. As I was telling my Aunt some basic things, my mom covered her ears and sang, "La, :La, LA."
I did know that my mom had two miscarriages sometime after I was born. She is not one to talk at all about anything emotional, or to show any emotion so I don't know anything else about it. There was a discussion at my Aunts though on Sunday, and I found out for the first time that my mom had a D and C without any anesthetic, and the memory of it is too awful for her to talk about anything that makes her think of it. There is probably pain related to the loss of the two babies which could also be another reason she doesn't want to talk about it. My mom is very private with anything in her life that has emotions attached to it, and so she is very mysterious to me in some ways because I feel like there is so many things about her that I don't know. It makes me feel sad to hear that she went through such a painful experience. She is a very strong lady and went through so much at a young age. I love you mom.

Should Have Known

So no working out this last week or this :( which is not what I wanted. I should have figured something was up when I kept sleeping all day and night last week. I swear I couldn't get enough sleep. I was like the walking dead. Dark circles, super pale skin, walking all slow like. UGH!

Trust me I was getting sleep and a lot of it... like 12 plus hours and still would wake up and feel like I had gotten no sleep. I couldn't understand why or what was going on.

Well, then last week it finally hit me... my chest starting hurting and bad and getting heavy. Three hours had passed and I still didn't feel better... actually worse. So I finally called my husband who called to try and get me in urgent care... no such luck.

So ER here we come. Got to the ER and I got out of the car to walk to the door and by the time I got to the door I couldn't even breath. I ended up getting put into some special room and they did what they needed to do.

Well, found out I had bronchitis with the onset of pneumonia :( So it's ten days of meds and by the way they cause cracked heels, loss of appetite etc. Well, I can breath better and my chest isn't in pain, but with no desire to eat I feel weak and tired still. I am hoping that next week will be better and I can get back to the gym.

I blame it on the fluctuating weather here... I am not use to the cold and rain and everything else. I will just have to be patient and it will take time to get use too.

October 23, 2011


I thought I'd follow in "update" footsteps. =o)

Not too much to report with myself. I'm on CD10 and just taking it one day at a time...hoping for some happiness.

The BF was induced on 10-21. I was lucky enough to be one of her labor coaches (with her hubby) and got to experience it all with her. I had actually done pretty well throughout the whole thing until she got to hold her for the first time and Mommy started crying. From that point on, it was a struggle to hold it together. How can you be so happy for someone and so sad for yourself at the same time? Ever since, my BOTB has been in overdrive praying that I get to have the experiences that she has and will have.

I will you all the best in luck as we strive for this ultimate happiness!

October 20, 2011

10 Day Count Down

Only 10 more days remain until I am able to have my 9 week ultrasound. As each day passes I am starting to feel more and more confident that things are going to be okay. I just feel like it will be a huge sigh of relief to have a good 9 week ultrasound and then, as my Dr said, I can start to get excited.

Speaking of countdowns...when I was a kid, each year my mom would buy us a Christmas Countdown Calendar. There would be a door to open for each day of the month of December leading up to Christmas, with a piece of chocolate hiding behind each door. It was so fun to have something to look forward to, to remind us of how quickly the big day would arrive. Last night I started making a pregnancy countdown calendar that counts down 36 weeks of pregnancy(it excludes the first 4 weeks, it was just easier to make it 6 rows by 6 rows.)
I am planning on writing something fun to do for each week behind the door, to celebrate our progress, or a big landmark for the week. I will take a picture when I am all done putting it together. It is just fun to have something to remind me just how fast it really is all going to pass by, and to enjoy it as it comes.

October 19, 2011


Hello, all :)

I don't have anything really major to report... But I thought I'd pop in and say hello, anyway.

In keeping with the trend (along with Explorer Bud), I too have had my share of metformin woes. In all seriousness, I detest this medication. I seriously wish I did not have to take it... But, unfortunately, I do have to take it. :-/ I am hoping that what they say is true, and that I start adjusting after the one month mark. Sadly, when the nausea and intestinal wars begin, a month seems like a pretty long time...

I have noticed a little extra, creamy white, discharge in my panties lately... followed by a bit of EWCM when I wiped. I thought that it was either one or the other... I have never heard of these two types of discharge appearing at the same time. Has anyone else had a similar situation? I know it may seem a bit strange to discuss discharge, and some may think it to be a bit too TMI, but if you've dealing with fertility issues, and the subject of discharge and CM comes up, I believe it's a little blog-worthy ;)

Until next time!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Meformin Woes

Well I am back to taking my Metformin since my hiatus between IVF's. I did have the Dr. change my prescription to the extended release so I can take it before I go to bed. That has decreased the nasty side effects of intestinal upsets and nausea but the past week I have been on a roller coaster of feeling great then suddenly wanting to throw up. Luckily I just feel nauseous and don't actually have to throw up. I have been reading and it seems that it can take up to a month before Metformin stabilizes your insulin levels and the side effects subside. All I can say is Immodium chewable tablets are always close by till my body adjusts.

Otherwise, I have planned out that I will start taking BC this coming Sunday and that should put the egg retrieval the week after Thanksgiving. I am excited but worried that it will be another failed cycle. I did talk to a lady that had done IVF and they put in 3 grade D eggs and all three took, she has 3 year old triplets. Also, a friend of hers just did IVF and she had 2 grade C and 1 grade D eggs and all three took. So....some people it works maybe this time it will for us!

October 18, 2011

7 Week Update

Well I am 7 weeks along today. It is starting to feel a little more real that I am pregnant, although I still can't believe it. I haven't had many pregnancy symptoms except for nausea, and that comes and goes all day. It is not too bad for now though. I basically feel same as always. I am still pretty anxious especially when I think about the three miscarriages that my sister had last year. I really have no idea what we would do next if anything happens. IVF or using an adopted frozen embryo are our only fertility options, and I just don't think I am up for a third round. My Dr said that I can feel more confident after my 9 week ultrasound, so I am really looking forward to that.

October 14, 2011


From Aruba! My fellow buds, this place is absolutely beautiful. We've gone parasailing, jet-skiing, and snorkeling. The sand is white and the water is clear and blue.

I was hoping that AF wouldn't show up for her expected appointment on the 18th, but alas, she surprised me early by coming today. =o( I'm okay about it I guess. I suppose that a plus side to it is that I can do all the activities we want without any worry.

Mr. CB surprised me by telling me a couple of weeks ago that he's 100% ready and committed to TTC, whereas before we had just been going with the flow, so to speak - you know how men are before they commit. So we'll see where that leads.

Oops! It's been awhile...

I've tried to be really good about posting weekly to the blog but the end of this pregnancy has me going crazy! There is so much to do to prepare for baby how can I possibly blog?

Today I am 36 weeks 3 days (I think). I had my 36 week appointment on Tuesday and got some fun news! They did the GBS swab (yuck) and since they were down there anyway I asked to be checked. Guess what? 2 centimeters dilated and 50-60% effaced, yahoo! I know it *technically* doesn't mean anything BUT ask any pregnant woman and I bet she will say she was excited about any progress she had made. I figure those are 2 less centimeters I have to be in labor for.

My midwife also gave me the go-ahead to start taking Evening Primrose Oil three times a day. This will help soften my cervix. She also told me baby is facing posterior (sunny side up) which is usually the cause for some painful back labor. Great! So she gave me a sheet with ways to sit to help baby turn to the right side. I've been living in those positions since Tuesday. Back labor? No thank you!

I think I have gained between 20 and 25 pounds. I feel like a whale. I sure hope I can lose all this weight after baby is born.

Mr. BB is getting pretty excited about baby, he is always asking me whether I think baby is a boy or a girl (no idea) but will never share what he thinks (not fair)!

We can't wait to meet Baby BB. The kids are so excited! The car seat is installed, the cosleeper is set up, diapers are prepped, and the clothes are all washed. I have been nesting badly lately so hopefully I can clean/organize the whole house before this LO arrives since I know I won't be doing much cleaning with a newborn.

The nursery is not finished and I doubt it will be before Baby BB arrives. Oh well, what can you do? He/she will be sleeping in our room anyway. I am hoping we get it finished soon after LO is here though. The dry way is (FINALLY) going up this weekend. Then it will need mudding/sanding before we can paint and tile. I am actually heading over to pick out some tile right now.

Our last Bradley class is Tuesday, woo hoo! I'll also be full term then too. My Bradley instructor thinks I'll go into labor in the next two weeks, exciting!

I *will* *(at least try) to update Tuesday.

-Buttercup Bud

October 13, 2011

Spotting: Day 6 and my Emotional State

Yup, that's right... What I thought was AF seems to be a bit of a false alarm - or even AF incognito. Who knows?! All I know is that I have spotted for 6 days straight - ONLY when I wipe. It's got a light brown tint to it, and sort of comes and goes. I wasted two, perfectly good, pads that didn't get so much as a stain on them. This has NEVER happened to me before... And honestly, I don't know what to make of it.

I tried doing a little research on my situation, and read that it could possibly mean I am/was ovulating. That might explain it, since I recently got back on Metformin and started a strict diet to lose some weight (-7lbs). I also read it could be a hormonal imbalance. I have no idea. I am thinking of waiting a few weeks to see if AF shows, or if I POAS again (just for shits and giggles - I highly doubt I'm KU).

One thing is for sure... With all this period or no period fiasco, and other personal things that occurred with my family, my EDD (well, what would've been, anyway) came and went. It would've been Wednesday, the 12th. Can you believe it? I've come a long way since that's surprise BFP back in February. On top of the fact that it has been an INSANE year - at least for me. Bittersweet, you might say, from start until present day. I am kind of ready for it to be over, but who knows what these last few months have in store for us? Only time will tell...

I am also kind of desensitized to this whole TTC after a loss thing. Sort of numb, you might say. So many people around me are either pregnant or giving birth. I've just learned to put my own "issues" aside, and truly be happy for the new, and repeat, mommies in my life. I can't be happier for my fellow Buds (especially Cactus Bud, who was due around the same time as I) who have recently given birth to their LOs, and for those who are expecting. I am confident that my day will come too. Maybe, just maybe, this has all been a test. I have always been so accustomed to getting my way, and getting what I want when I want it (total Diva, I know), and maybe this is God's way of telling me to step back and look at the big picture, for a moment. It's not all about me, and that's more than OK. When it's my turn, I know everything will work itself out. I just know it.

Staying positive :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

6 Week Ultrasound

I had my ultrasound today! I honestly didn't expect anything to show up on the screen. Something did though, and we are expecting one baby! We even got to see the heartbeat. It is very exciting! I am going to try to stay positive and not worry too much. It is hard when the odds seem stacked against us at times. It is so exciting to actually see it though!

Dr. Appointment - Check!!

Yesterday we finally made it to the new Dr.'s office after cancelling and debating on when we should reschedule. Mr. Explorer Bud and I both agree that we liked this Dr. and he had some interesting theories about PCOS and Hypothyroidism.We first got to fill out more paperwork and then go back with a nurse and have her fill some more in on the computer and then sat around waiting to go talk with the Dr. He went over both our previous lab work, IVF treatments and surgeries which brought up a little emotion when talking about the IVF cycles. I was surprised because I felt almost defensive about them that I produced good eggs and everything was fine. Strange but so is going through infertility too!

In talking about how I was feeling, tired, colder than other people around me and still not dropping weight like I feel I should be he felt my T3 levels were not up to par so he has put me on a natural Thyroid that is T3 and T4 and we will retest my levels in 6 weeks so I am hoping to feel more energized. Then we moved over to PCOS where he talked about Testosterone and that a lot of the time women with PCOS are actually lacking Free Testosterone but not in Total Testosterone. When you are lacking in Free Testosterone you are tired, have trouble remembering things, poor muscle development, low sex-drive and lots more symptoms. I have a lot of these symptoms and my Total Testosterone isn't terribly high but it is a little high but interestingly I wasn't tested for Free Testosterone levels. If we are going to do IVF within the next 6 months then I will have to wait to address this issue because to treat it I would be put on too high of levels of Testosterone to carry a baby. At least I know what some of my problems may be stemming from.

So any who, moving onto the exam portion of the appointment, which I appreciate since it is coming out of my pocket I would like the Dr. to actually see what is going on in those ovaries and uterus before he makes recommendations. He did confirm that I am Poly Cystic, on my right ovary I had about 20 follicles and on my left I had a few. He then said that my cervix was very tight and only had a pin hole size opening when it should be bigger and that he will probably need to dilate my cervix for our next IVF. Has anyone had this done before and I thought it was strange since I don't believe my prior Dr. did it for either of my IVF's??

He asked if I was ever diagnosed with Endometriosis and I said no that I hadn't. He did some palpation's and found that I do on my left side which is the side that I had the ectopic and tubal removal. He said it was minor and shouldn't cause a problem but that we should keep an eye on it in the future. Yeah, one more "problem" to add to the list!! Love it!! So I am supposed to send him the pictures from my tubal ligation so he can see if it was there prior.

He did say that I probably had an infection in that tube and that was probably why I ended up with an Ectopic pregnancy which makes a little more sense than it just floated around and landed there in the tube.

At the end we decided we would move forward with a third IVF with ICSI but it will be a low stim IVF which is where I will be on Clomid for 5-7 days and then injections the last week instead of the whole time. His goal is to harvest 4-8 eggs instead of a bunch and to get at least 2 good quality ones to put back in. Since my lining is thin right now and who knows when I may ovulate next, doesn't look like anytime soon, I can start BCP's at anytime! Oh and I talked to him about my worry that my lining isn't thickening up after the IVF he said we could try taking Progesterone the last two weeks that I am on BCP's and that should help tell my body to start building up a lining.

I think I will wait a few weeks before starting the BCP since I calculated it out and I would be doing the retrieval and transfer the week of Thanksgiving which we will hopefully be in California with family. I am excited by apprehensive since the first two ended in no baby.

October 12, 2011

Home at Last

After a very long day of driving, we are finally home from Michigan! We had a fun time visiting some friends that we met and stayed with durning Little Lucky Buds adoption. I also gathered info, like pictures on his birthmothers side. I got a tiny bit, but not much on the birthfathers side.

Well I am 6 weeks along and my due date is June 8th! I am still very cautiously hopeful. It is hard to get my hopes up too much when my Dr. is so hesitant. He says not to get excited until after my 9 week ultrasound. I have my 6 week ultrasound tomorrow and I can't wait to see how it goes!!! I really hope that everything is okay! The Dr said that he expects it to be one baby from my HCG levels, although you can never know for sure. I guess we will find out tomorrow! My biggest fear is that I will go in, and nothing will show up at all:(

Early Arrival

As it turns out, two of us here on Bloomin' Babies delivered on the same day. (HUGE congrats to Teacher Bud)

This is going to be long as its been an adventure the last two weeks, but I wanted to fill you all in on why I've been 'missing'.

On September 27th I went in for my weekly appointment. I was about 37.5 weeks. They did my vitals upon arrival. Blood pressure was up 10 points (140ish/80ish) range. Weight had jumped up 4 pounds in a week. Then my urine came back that I was spilling more protein. I was being watched prior to that appointment for signs of Pre-Eclampsia and it seems I was crossing over into officially having it. Since I was full term, my doctor decided it was go time to get the baby out of there. I had to call my husband from the doctors office (he was at work) and the doctor arranged for a non-emergency transport from her office to the hospital...a grand total of a half mile distance.

A few hours later I'm told that my cervix was starting to dilate on its own (went from 1 to 2.5 in that time period) and that Pitocin was the best option to start up labor. This is when I realized that things may not go as I'd hoped for this delivery. I'd hoped for as intervention-free as possible. With pitocin the baby has to be on monitors constantly, meaning I'd be pretty much restricted to however far the monitors could reach. Add to that the blood pressure cuff...and yeah, I was having to ring a nurse if I needed to use the restroom.

I continued to labor overnight with pitocin. Not much progress was made. I think I got to about a 3cm by 6am that morning. They gave me a little break from the pitocin, let me eat something for the first time since noon the day before (crackers and Jello have never tasted so good) and then we went back at it.
A prime example of my labor not going according to my birth plan. Taken at the end of labor, that's pitocin, magnesium, saline & antibiotics on the IV pole.

Sometime that afternoon (time is becoming a blur at this point), I get the "We need to either break your water and hope that jump starts labor or we need to proceed with a c-section" talk. I opted to have them break my water. Not the most comfortable thing for the record. Once the water was broken the relatively mild pitocin contractions I'd been having kicked into high gear. I went from being able to talk through the to scaring some poor student with the amount of pain I was in who was coming in to ask for permission ti study the placenta to help further understand Pre-E.

Not long after this point I was pretty much begging for an epidural. The pitocin induced contractions were one on top of the other and were really intense. Plus the nurses were having trouble getting my contractions on the monitors (to which I assured them I was having them as i writhed in pain) and getting an epidural would allow them to monitor them internally and start the dreaded magnesium drip. The epidural was wonderful and provided some much needed relief. Amid an occasional wave of nausea (thank you magnesium drip), I labored on. At this point I could feel the pressure as my cervix was dilated and occasionally I could feel break through pain of the contractions.

Sometime after 3pm the doctors started talking about checking me around 4pm to see how I was doing for progression. At this point I was starting to get the first signs of a fever courtesy of having my water broken. I remember chiming in that they might want to check me before then. I could feel him down really low. No urge to push, but I knew he was further than they seemed to think he was. I was right. I was at a 10 and it was go time.

The pushing stage is kind of a blur to me. I'd been laboring for 24+ hours at that point and was spiking a fever. I felt incredibly weak and remember telling them that I didn't know if I had the strength left in me to get him out. They must've believed me, because they called the vacuum guy in to take a look. He didn't end up helping out (I hadn't progressed far enough).
After that I started to get the hang of pushing. I was pretty much a train wreck...in addition to all the fun down below associated with delivery, I also puked for the first time in my entire pregnancy during the pushing phase. I'd like to blame the magnesium as a known side effect of it is nausea, but the truth is that sometimes women puke during labor. Kind of frustrating to make it to about 20 minutes before I'm no longer pregnant before tossing my cookies though...but it is what it is...

Dylan James joined our family on September 28, 2011 at 4:21PM. He weighed 6lb 2oz and was 19.39 inches long. He came out kind of bluish pink, the doctors say courtesy of the magnesium I had to be on (Apgars of 6 & 9) and had to be worked on a bit to get his lungs cleared. He also got a 4 hour stint in the NICU and 2 days of antibiotics courtesy of the infection I developed during delivery. Him being taken to NICU was so hard as I was stuck in L&D getting myself fixed up (2nd degree tear) in the meantime and couldn't leave. My husband went with him, but it was so hard to not be there...

We ended up with an extended 5 day stay in the hospital courtesy of my Pre-Eclampsia. My labs weren't coming back how they were supposed to and my blood pressure wouldn't drop. In fact, it wasn't until just yesterday after I'd been put on blood pressure meds that my BP has gotten back to normal. The extended stay in the hospital in some ways was a blessing as we had some breastfeeding issues to overcome. Due to the babies slightly early arrival, he didn't have the stamina to put much effort into feeding until my milk came in on Day 4. We actually had to supplement with formula some in the hospital for blood sugar reasons (fed by tube, not bottle), but we've since weaned off of that and are 100% breastfeeding now.

We're now at home and doing well aside from myself and the baby having a head cold.
Without further adieu, here are some pictures of our little man

Riding home from the hospital.

Posing for the camera yesterday.

So I back at the gym and loving it... well for the most part. I will admit the first day back I thought I would die doing cardio again.

I mean seriously I struggled just to do ten minutes... are you kidding me. UGH!

But then I realized it was mind over matter. How bad do I want this. I mean I have sacrificed so much already for a child I don't even know... a child I dream of having... so what's holding me back.

And when I finally decided it was not only for health, but for my dream of having a child I was reminded I would do anything for my child... so the next day I kicked it up a notch.

Shockingly in three days I was up to two miles and by the end of the week I was doing 27 minutes of cardio. And on Friday I spent two hours at the gym... not all on the elliptical, but I did the toning tables and weight machines. I was so darn proud of myself... I couldn't believe it.

Then I took Saturday, Sunday & Monday off and by Monday I was missing the gym. But my hubby had the day off and wanted to spend it with me... so no gym that day. Boy was I glad to go today, but ended up smacking myself for not eating before going cause I caused myself to end my workout sooner than I wanted :(

I guess there is tomorrow... and I do plan to eat something before going... I mean normally I do... I am not sure what I was thinking today lol.

Well, I'd say I am off to a pretty good start getting back into my routine. Can't wait for my first weigh in and measurements... so I can see my progress :)

Take care everyone.. HUGS Cupcake Bud

photo credit

October 10, 2011

False alarm?

Today is day 3. But not of a full blown AF... More like a light, brown, spotting when I wipe. I have worn a couple of pads, and nothing has ended up either of them (not even the one I wore all day to work). I don't have any cramping, or anything, and the spotting has been very mild. I don't know what to make of this... I guess the only thing I can do is wait. :-/

I was wondering If this has happened to any of my fellow Buds or readers... I would be happy to read about other experiences with a situation like mine.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

October 9, 2011

Miracles do happen :)

Well, we are back from our Mini-Vacation, so I thought I would post my latest report. After almost 5 months, AF has reappeared. I guess she found out we were heading to Disney for the weekend, and wanted to join us. I hoped for a Disney Miracle, and (in a way) I got one,

I started spotting yesterday while at the park and though it's still very light today - mostly brownish and light - I am glad to see her return :) This is good news for my TTC journey. The metformin is working!!!

Mr. DBud and I are planning to officially and actively TTC this month (i.e. look at ovulation days, use OPKs, etc) to see if we can get a sticky one this time. Here's hoping!!! :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Hard to believe it's finally here...

Well the vacation that I've been planning since February is finally here! We leave super early tomorrow morning and Mr. Curly Bud and I are so excited that sleep has been difficult the past couple of days. Aruba here we come!

AF is scheduled to arrive a couple of days before we leave to come home (around the 18th). We'll see if the BD delays AF's arrival for a while...preferably the FULL 9 months this time.

I'm taking my laptop on vacay since the hotel has free wi-fi and will continue to post down there.

October 7, 2011

Some relief :)

Well, I am happy to report that Mr. DBud and I are heading to the Happiest Place on Earth<3 this weekend for a little R&R. We won't have much free time until the Holidays, so we are definitely taking advantage. :)

AF still hasn't appeared, but I am starting to see some changes in my CM... Meaning I actually have some. I had been as dry as a dessert for some time now, but ever since I started this new diet (5 lbs gone so far!) and got back on Metformin, I have noticed a difference. Here's hoping! After all, she hasn't made an appearance since late May... Maybe we'll have a little Disney Miracle - though I am not counting on it as of yet. It would be a nice surprise, though.

Other than that, nothing major to report... I am going to start walking next week, so hopefully that will amp up the weight loss/metabolism, so we can get this show on the road!!!

Until next time :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

He's here!

First photo. 
Baby Teacher Bud was born 6 weeks early.  Born 10:30pm Wednesday September 28th by (sort-of)-emergency cesarean at 33w5d. 

He's still in the NICU, but he's doing well.  His only real hurdle to coming own is being able to stay awake long enough to feed himself, and he is making improvement on that each day. More later. 

October 3, 2011

Second Beta Results

Beta #1 was 138

Beta #2 (3days later) 489!

Hooray!!! I am so relieved. I am still very scared though. Last summer my sister had a miscarriage at 13 weeks, followed by two chemical pregnancies, so the possibility of a miscarriage seems so real.  Also, after 6 years of TTC, it doesn't seem possible that I can actually be pregnant. It is funny, I can easily imagine adopting again. I can see the whole process from start to finish. I just can't visualize being pregnant, getting a belly, having morning sickness, or giving birth at all.  It is really hard to believe that I could really be pregnant! I am so happy though, and so excited.

I can have my 6 week ultrasound on the 11th. That is crazy! That is just a week away! I am leaving on a road trip to Michigan with the kids on Wednesday and won't be back by then, so I will probably schedule it for the 13th. I am so excited to see how many babies are in there!

I am going to write the donor couple tonight to let them know I am pregnant. I am a little worried that it might be emotional for them. Often people make the decision to donate their embryos, but then once there is actually a recipient, it makes it all so real and there are a lot of emotions that come with it. I know that they struggled some during the whole decision process, but decided that it was the logical thing to do. It all happened relatively quickly on their side, (we selected them, they agreed, I did my cycle a few days later, and BAM! I am pregnant!) so I hope it doesn't come as too much of a shock to them that I actually became pregnant on the first try. I am sure they will be very happy for us though.

On another note, I am going to Michigan, in part, to see Little Lucky Buds Birth Families. It is a little complicated and I am not exactly sure how it will all go...on the Birth Father side, that is... so I will let you know how it all goes when I come back!


Okay, so the BF's water didn't break. Unfortunately for her, it was just urine (she'd kill me if she knew I said that!). She's miserable and ready for this baby, and as I've said I really hope that she doesn't have her while I'm on vacation. On the other hand, it will be nice to not have that visual reminder all day-every day. At least for a while since my other friend at work is preggers. Hopefully I won't be too far behind.

On a personal note, Mr. Curly Bud and I had a good weekend doing the BD and hopefully more is to come in Aruba. Everyone at work seems to be expecting me to get pregnant at or around this trip so I'm a little nervous about having that expectation hanging over me. It's one thing for it to be a personal expectation, but to have others to be counting on it too? I don't know about that.

P.S. ~ CONGRATS Lucky!!!! =o) I hope you have the best of luck and a HH9M!

October 1, 2011

My Naughty Plan

well my plan was to put things on a back burner, but let's just say I sorta, maybe, kinda put them there and forgot about them. Yeah, I did. And that was pretty rather naughty to me.

I did have intentions of taking a break because I knew we had to PCS, but with the date constantly changing, things going crazy, trying to work, dealing with school... blah blah blah blah... I had to make a choice. The stress was so bad that my face was horribly broken out, I actually got some gray hairs, I was feeling sick, and some other things. I don't every remember being so stressed in all my life. So I had to put blogging, schooling, and other things on hold.. cause I just couldn't do it anymore. Not till after we finished with the whole moving thing.

But we are finally in our house and pretty much unpacked (minus a few boxes)... so now my life is finding some normalcy and I couldn't be happier. I started school back up, my acne is better, and I don't feel so stressed :) Plus hey I am back to blogging. However, the most important thing today was that I went and got a gym membership :) Which I am super excited about cause I want to get back on track with TTC naturally and kicking PCOS in the butt.

So that is just a quick update for now on why I've been gone for so long... I would of said something sooner, but I had no internet for a long time either... which didn't help. Anywhootie, I hope all of you are doing well and hope I can catch up on where everyone is at.

Hugs to all,

Cupcake Bud

PS. I actually was happy to discover I hadn't gained any weight during this time... hooray for me.

Bloomin' Babies Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved Bloomin' Babies Designed by Kate M. Gilbert