I Haz a Plan

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It's not an evil plan, but look at that kitteh! I wuv it.

Anyways

My temp spiked, which I'm ignoring, because that's what you do to things who only want attention. I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt only because my cheap-o HPT's haven't arrived from Amazon yet. When they do, if my temp hasn't indicated O, I'll test, get a little weapy over the BFN, and fill my prescription for Provera.


That should start Cycle 4, and with it, implementation of The Plan. The Super Awesome Cherry Bud Pregnancy Attainment Plan.

The Plan

1. Ordered 40 OPK's from Amazon this morning. I figure I'll start using them around CD 14 and go from there. I'm still a little confused about these. Do you use them as soon as you see fertile CM? Or do you just pick a day and start POAS-ing? It's a confusing world.

2. Green Tea. Drink it. I have a bunch at home, I just forget to drink it. Always.

3. Vitex. I'm buying the smallest possible bottle tonight and crossing my fingers that it doesn't turn me into a crazy person. I mentioned awhile back that Provera turns me into Ted Bundy. What I didn't mention is that I wasn't surprised. My emotions are apparently in a very rickety balance, and a hormonal difference one way or the other turns me into a kaleidoscope of nuts. The point of this is that I'm giving the Vitex a chance, as it is (apparently) a fertility wonderment. We'll see how it goes. If my posts become mentally unbalanced in the next few weeks, you'll know why.

4. BD-ing. We're ok at this, actually. So I guess we'll just keep up the good work and stuff.

Sweet Thing Mr. Cherry Bud said this week: "So....you said your temp went up...or down...something good...how did....how did that work out for you?" He's trying so hard, and I love him for it.

It's about that time...

It's CD 53, and while I did have fertile CM this week, my chart will be happy to show you that, for me, this is clearly not a sign of anything at all.

So it's time to start thinking about ending this cycle. Dr. Baggins gave me a Provera prescription with directions to go ahead and induce my period if I went past 60 days. For some reason, this is incredibly difficult for me to think about. Every time I start thinking about getting the prescription filled, a voice in my head says "But what if CD 60 is the day you're going to ovulate?"

I know I could do that forever, and drive myself strait into a 100 day cycle, simply by saying "But what if O day is tomorrow?" I want so badly for my body to do things on its own, especially since, as I said last time, I know that it can.

It's been a frustrating week

STILL no O

CD33 and I still haven't ovulated.

I guess this puts me back in the long-cycle club. I have been teased by a few small temp rises, only to be let down the next morning when it drops again. This is really hindering my progress with my TTC plan, since I have to wait until CD1 to schedule my HSG. As I mentioned in my previous entry, Mr. Sassy Bud is also waiting to do his S/A until then. I like to call this TTC limbo.

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Yep that's me. Somewhere between TTC heaven and hell.

I sit and hope for a BFP to end this craziness but I also am trying to be realistic to avoid the roller-coaster of emotions when AF comes. And she does. Every month.

Non-TTC life is good. Once this school term and tax season are over, I'm going to visit my sister and nieces and nephew in Texas. We are also celebrating our anniversary and Mr. Sassy Bud's birthday by taking a trip to Atlantic City and New York City. I have never been to either place so I am very excited to be able to go. I am also going to visit one of my "nestie besties" while I am there, so that is something great to look forward to.

Until then, I wait, and wait, and wait.

I got CH!

It looks like the Provera last cycle may have gotten my body back into gear. I'm currently 3DPO with great timing. Take a look at my chart:


Compared to my 84 day cycle, this is a beautiful thing!

I'm trying to keep myself in check and not get too excited so that I don't have a big letdown if I get a BFN. I can't help but to hope that this is our month, though.

FF's pregnancy monitor is not helping at all. "If you conceived this cycle your due date would be: 10/09/2010." That's 3 days after my birthday. Talk about the best birthday gift, ever.

FF recommends that I wait until 18DPO since I have no previous cycles to compare my LP with.

Yeah, right. I haven't decided how long I'll wait, but I can promise you it won't be 18DPO.

Here's hoping!

I Outed Myself

Mr. Sassy Bud and I have been keeping the TTC business pretty hush-hush for the past year. The only people that are aware that we have been trying (unsuccessfully) are his parents, my older sister, and one close friend/neighbor. I prefer to keep my personal business just that, personal.

I had dinner with a friend this past week. She is one of my closest friends, and also a self-proclaimed baby-hater. She has made it quite obvious that she does not, and may never want to have children. We've had the discussion about children many times before and she always comments about how I better not get pregnant anytime soon. Those comments have gotten past the point of annoyance to me, and now are just down right rude. This conversation happened to come up again when we were at dinner. So, I told her- about TTC for the past year, about the trouble I have had, and how frustrating it has been to me. My decision to tell her was mostly due to not wanting to hear her negative comments anymore, and if/when I do get KU I really don't think I could handle what I'm sure would come out of her mouth if she hadn't understood the whole process. Overall, I think it went well. Besides making a stabbing motion towards her head with the chopstick, she didn't really say much besides that she understands why I feel this is a good time for us to TTC.

In other news, today is CD17. My chart overlay is showing that my temps are very similar to last cycle (ended with Provera at CD84). I'm optimistically waiting to O, but I'm not getting my hopes up. My annual ob/gyn appointment is in February (along with my one-year TTC anniversary), so if I haven't made any progress by then, I will see what her plan for us is. Until then, I'm being patient and keeping busy.

CD1

AF finally showed up on New Years Eve after 84 days. It was definitely a welcome visit, and I actually said that I expected her to show up that particular day before I even started the Provera.

I'm not sure if it's just because I haven't had AF symptoms in so long, or if it's the Provera, but this is definitely a rough start to a cycle for me. My cramps are much more intense and constant than usual.

The next week or so of temps will show whether the Provera jump started my cycles back to normalcy or not. I definitely hope so. I'm taking my TTC journey one step at a time. I'm not going to get wrapped up in BFP thoughts until my cycle is more normal. Right now, I'm only concerned with getting my body to ovulate.

Today is my first day back to work after having 2 long weekends off for the holidays, and I also go back to school this week. Which means- back to my normal, stressful life. I am hoping it doesn't have a negative effect on my cycles.

Other than that, I had a great holiday break! My niece and nephew came in from Texas and kept me very, very busy. We did a ton of shopping, went to a Pistons game (courtside) and got front row Lions tickets. Here is a picture of my niece and I at Hard Rock Cafe before the Lions game:




Mr. Sassy Bud really likes to spoil the kids! I'm sure he won't be as bad when it's our own child, so I let him enjoy it for now. We also had a great New Years Eve party. We invited a few people over to see our amazing new basement setup and I made a ton of food.

That's all for now. Let's hope I O soon!

Intro-Sassy Bud

Hello, I am Sassy Bud. Mr. Sassy Bud and I have been married for 3 ½ years, and together for over 10 years. We are both in our late 20’s & work full-time. I’m in my second year of law school along with working as an auditor & staff accountant, so needless to say life can get very hectic around finals week.

Our TTC journey began in February of 2009. We had originally planned on my stopping BCP’s in October of 2009 so that we could time the baby’s arrival between tax season and football season- oh, how naive I was! Last January we decided that I would go off BCP’s in February since I had my annual appointment scheduled with my ob/gyn. I figured that would be the perfect time to have our pre-TTC discussion. My ob/gyn said I was healthy, gave me the basic TTC advice (PNV’s, and BD every other day around day 14 of your cycle) & well wishes and sent me on my way. As far as the timing issue- since I assumed I would be PG right away, of course- we decided that there is never an “ideal” time and even with the best planning, things can happen that are out of your control. So, we were going for it! I had visions of morning sickness and baby showers and how I would announce my pregnancy to all of our family and friends.

So here is a brief timeline of my journey so far:

· February-May: Regular 30ish day cycles. I wasn’t paying too close of attention, it was still early. I didn’t see any reason to be concerned, I know it can take time.

· June-August: I had one really short cycle (21 days or so) and then a few that were definitely longer, around 5-6 weeks each. This is when I really started doing more research. I needed to understand what was happening with my body. Fortunately, this is when I stumbled upon some online forums regarding charting. Surprisingly, I had never heard of it before.

· September: By this point, I’m in the middle of another weird cycle and I’m sick of wasting HPT’s and seeing BFN’s. It’s time to do something about this! I decided to start charting the next cycle.

I was content to wait until my February 2010 appointment before I started to be concerned, I can be patient. Patience is definitely one of my better qualities. I was not concerned- until I started charting. At first, it was so exciting to see my temperature in the morning. I was using OPK’s to backup my temperature observations. I tried charting my CM also, but it was basically non-existent. So, I faithfully put in my temperature each morning, and waited for FF to give me the great news- that I ovulated! My first crosshairs were so exciting. And then they were gone. Another week went by, another set of CH’s had come and gone. Eventually I realized my body wasn’t “normal.” This was not as easy as it seemed for everyone else that I know that got PG right off BCP or on “accident.”

Fast forward to now, December 2009. We are closing in on the magical one year mark of TTC before they decide that you may have other issues or need some help with the baby-making process. As of today, I am on CD 80-something. I just finished a 10 day Rx for Provera, although judging by my temps, I’m not so sure it is working the way it should. At the appointment to get the Provera, the doctor said she wanted me to get an ultrasound to see if we can pinpoint a specific problem. She also ordered bloodwork to check my hormone and thyroid levels, and I am still waiting for the results.

So that is where I am at today. I feel like I am further from having a baby than I was a year ago, but I am definitely more informed.

I hope to have some more information about what is going on after my ultrasound tomorrow.

~Sassy Bud

AF arrival

Finally! AF showed up this morning. After this we can officially start TTC again. It has seemed like forever. I hated wishing the days away but that's what I was doing I guess. Each morning AF wasn't here (after 30 days) it was like I wanted the next day to come so I could hopefully start then. And 30 days came and went and so did 60. Now at day 63 she is finally here! After this my doctor said we are free to start trying again. At least now I'm not just waiting and waiting and waiting. I've never been so excited to see AF. Maybe she won't stay too too long!

AF still MIA

I think I'm on day 53 of my cycle now. Since I'm not really charting (just watching CM this cycle) I have no clue if I actually ovulated or not. Using the first date of EWCM, AF is way overdue. Using the 2nd date of EWCM, AF should be due tomorrow. If AF doesn't show up tomorrow, maybe I'll test. But for all I really know, I could still be waiting to ovulate.

My cycles have never been regular without being on BCP. It took over a year of being off BCP for my cycles to regulate. And then we conceived little Daisy Bud #1. After he was born, I decided it was not worth it to go back on BCP.

My plan was to start charting again. This is much easier said then done. My sleep schedule is far from regular. Little Daisy Bud tends to be my alarm clock in the morning. I am usually barely functioning at that point in the morning, so remembering to take my temperature before getting out of bed rarely happens. So for now I'm in suspence whether this long cycle will lead to AF or a BFP.