Med's Arrived

I received the majority of my medications in the mail the other day. I feel like I am mostly ready for this third round of IVF. We are doing a mini-stim cycle so it is more Clomid and less injectionables but it is still pricey over in the US!! In Panama we paid about $1,200 for the full round of injectionables, progesterone, Clomid and all the miscellaneous pills I was blessed to take!!

I am done with BCP's tomorrow and Progresterone pills which is good because my body is whollly confused. I have been spotting the past three days and have had to start taking a double dose of BCP's to prevent AF from coming too early. I have been really crampy and feeling bloated which I will be glad will be over in a few days as well.

My first appointment for the start of this cycle is this Monday. I am going to really go over ways we can ensure my lining is up to par and that we are taking all available measures, since that is something I have a "feeling" is part of the problem that those embryo's aren't sticking.

Oh the Medications We Take to Get Pregnant

CREDIT

CREDIT

This is how I feel about Metformin pretty much every time I have to start taking it,or up the dose, or eat something that I shouldn't(Okay so that may be my own fault),or not eat when the medicine starts flowing through my system, or, or, or... Fellow Metformin users will understand or really any of us that get the joy of taking fertility meds with their lovely side-effects!!


The good news though, knock on wood, I seem to be finally adjusting to the Metformin and having fewer mad dashes to the bathroom, bouts of nausea and stomach cramps. I have even added in the my vitamins to the daily dose since those sometimes make me feel yucky as well and I wasn't about to add something else to an already sick feeling day!!

Meformin Woes

Well I am back to taking my Metformin since my hiatus between IVF's. I did have the Dr. change my prescription to the extended release so I can take it before I go to bed. That has decreased the nasty side effects of intestinal upsets and nausea but the past week I have been on a roller coaster of feeling great then suddenly wanting to throw up. Luckily I just feel nauseous and don't actually have to throw up. I have been reading and it seems that it can take up to a month before Metformin stabilizes your insulin levels and the side effects subside. All I can say is Immodium chewable tablets are always close by till my body adjusts.

Otherwise, I have planned out that I will start taking BC this coming Sunday and that should put the egg retrieval the week after Thanksgiving. I am excited but worried that it will be another failed cycle. I did talk to a lady that had done IVF and they put in 3 grade D eggs and all three took, she has 3 year old triplets. Also, a friend of hers just did IVF and she had 2 grade C and 1 grade D eggs and all three took. So....some people it works maybe this time it will for us!

Beginning Stimming

After willing and begging AF to arrive, the biatch showed up this morning after I called the RE's to say she didn't arrive. After waiting by the phone all day (I haven't done this since my days trying to find a guy), I just talked to the nurse. I can begin stims on Saturday. This is actually beginning. I actually have a good chance, at least 50%, of being pregnant in a month. This is the best chance that we have had in months. BRING IT ON!

I am very lucky that my friends know about what is going on since I have to take my very first shot during our HP 7 girls' night celebration. Mr. Plannerbud is actually secretly excited that he gets out of one night of helping me with the shot. He will probably be planning lots of events right around my 8 pm shot time.

I will be taking 150iu of Gonal F. From what I have read the side effects are not truly that bad. Many people had harsher side effects with clomid than with the injections. I hope it is the same for me. I am already on edge and snapping at poor Mr. Planner bud and the cycle hasn't really even started.

Fingers crossed that I stim quickly and can get in and out before MCAS testing so my boss doesn't kill me!

No news is good news

Photo credit: Golden Bud

On Monday our donor had her suppression check. My coordinator didn't call me with the results, which I assumed to be a good sign (this time anyways). A quick email confirmed that our donor had no cysts and would be starting her stims this Friday.

I've been on Lupron and estrogen patches (the square patches weirdly known as "Dots") and am popping Tylenol daily to deal with the annoying Lupron headaches. I go in for an estrogen test this Friday. That'll be our next hurdle -- we need a good number to show that my lining is increasing. I've never had lining problems in the past, so I expect smooth sailing.

As our donor's egg retrieval draws near, I've been shopping on Etsy for donor gifts. It's common to deliver a gift for her to receive after her surgery. I'm collecting a few goodies in her favorite color (teal) and ordered a necklace that I hope she likes.

Things are pretty boring right now, but that's ok. No news is good news.


Til next time,
Golden Bud

Day 3.5 of stims and all is... well....

So, today is day 3.5 of stims (i started friday night, and except for that night when I took the whole dose at once, starting saturday morning i've done gonal 2x a day). I can't believe how quickly I felt side effects this time. GI symptoms, headaches by the end of day 1... and i can definitely feel activity in my ovaries since day 2. I didn't feel this for a few more days last time... but here I am, day 3.5 and already feeling a little bloated and crampy in my ovaries.

Tomorrow morning is my first monitoring appointment and i'm nervous. I'm scared i'm going to see that same look of disappointment on Dr Z's face when I go in for my ultrasound.... that look that says "something is wrong here". That the phone call I get with my blood work results will have the same panic, with an E2 level in the toilet.

I KNOW that's not going to happen. Feeling all of these symptoms this soon tells me that. But the little tiny irrational part of me that I can't beat back still whispers in the back of my head....

I scheduled an extra acu session for this week... i'll do some extra meditation... i'm wearing penguin socks... i have more lucky charms ON me than in a cereal box:

• The beautiful fertility charm from Taiwan, sent to me by Jenny
  
• The rose quartz shaped like a heart from Lani
• The St Gerard medal, given to me by a concerned coworker

I know it sounds really silly... It's not a beta. It's not my retrieval.. it's not even my transfer. It's just my first monitoring appointment of the cycle.

Can you guys just send me some positive thoughts for the morning?

A positive spin on side effects

When I was getting ready to write this post, I was planning on talking about the side effect hell that I am currently experiencing...but that would not fit in with the new, improved POSITIVE Chef Bud so I decided I needed to look at my side effects in a different light.

1. I am so short-tempered that even the smallest thing can send me into a tirade...which is good at work since I'm an assistant principal. If the students weren't scared of getting in trouble and being sent to my office, they definitely are now!

2. I feel nauseous and sometimes sick to my stomach...which is good since I wanted to lose some weight anyway and it's quite easy to not eat when you feel like you're going to throw up.

3. I am an emotional mess...which is good because when I get all weepy and sad, Mr. CB feels so bad for me and will do the dishes, bring me wine, walk the dog, etc.

Photo Credit

I am hoping that all these side effects mean my medicine is working and doing what it is supposed to do. We are on the same plan for this month as we were last month. I've already done five days of femara, I am on day two of five for the estrogen patches, the HCG trigger shot is currently being overnighted and I anticipate triggering on Monday night after my follie check/lining check on Monday morning. I also added in pomegranate extract pills to see if nature could give my lining a boost.


Monday is a big day. My appointment is at 9 am, and I usually just go by myself if Mr. CB has to work, but I asked him to make sure he could be off to go with me. I am terrified that I'm not going to have responded to the meds, and my lining will still be thin. I know I will be a wreck if that is the case, so I want him there for support. But of course I am hopeful and optimistic for a great ultrasound that shows a big, fat, fluffy lining that is all ready for Baby CB to get comfortable for the next nine months!

The meds giveth, the meds taketh away....

I was SO happy! FINALLY, after 5 weeks, these ridiculous boobs were starting to feel a little better. They're still larger than life but at least the pain is going away. I was starting to feel a LITTLE more like myself. Still overwhelmingly emotional, but not the lethargic slug that i've been. Just a little more tired than usual.

So happy that I was able to stop taking the BCPs on thanksgiving.

But now... hello Lupron side effects. It's your turn.

The migraine that I attributed to my first BCP period (i forgot that i was going to get one) is now CLEARLY not from my period or the BCPs. I've had migraines now every day for the past 3 days. I haven't had a migraine in almost 3 years. That combined with the dizziness and the crazy dreams I've been getting every time the headaches come tells me it's Lupron's turn.

I've taken some tylenol here and there. I've actually added the tiniest bit of caffeine back into my diet because caffeine can help with headaches. And it IS helping (i'm putting maybe 2-3 oz of caffeinated coffee in my decaf once a day).

Mr. DB keeps saying he hopes we have multiples so I don't have to go through this again. Too bad for him, i keep telling him that being pregnant once might not be enough for me.

I don't know why he keeps laughing.

Meanwhile - 2nd med teaching tomorrow afternoon. I'll post the rest of my protocol when I get home. Monitoring appointment with bloodwork and vagcam on Friday at 7am. Stims start sunday... with us luck and stay tuned...

Until then, follicle wishes and thick lining dreams.

Welcome to the wonderful world of Side Effects... up first: GI upset

So, I just started week 6 on the devil pills (AKA BCPs). I'm taking comfort knowing that the side effects I've been having on the pill are almost over. I will take my last pill on thursday. "On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful I won't have to take ANY more BCPs."

photo credit

So far, the wonderful side effects I've been having on the BCPs include: TERRIBLE breast pain (I am 36FF and I have been sleeping in an underwire bra... taking it off even for a shower has been awful) and itchiness because they're getting BIGGER!!!!, mood swings to make Lindsey Lohan look stable, i'm crying at everything and i haven't had skin this bad since I was about 14. Let's not forget the complete lack of interest in sex. Poor Mr. DB.

Now I'm taking the Lupron. A little shot, which is honestly not that bad at all (not nearly as bad as the PIO -Progesterone in Oil- will be). Each morning, DH does his job - goes downstairs, gets it out of the fridge and shoots me up before he gets in the shower. We're alternating arms. It stings a little, but no bruising so far, and we only saw blood once.

photo credit

Interestingly, the only FDA approved uses of Lupron are for prostate cancer (!!!) and precocious puberty. However, ovarian function suppression falls under it's off label uses.

These are the recorded side effects of Lupron:

• bone pain
• Swelling, Rapid Weight Gain
• pain, burning, stinging, bruising, or redness where the medication was injected
• feeling like you might pass out
• Urinating more often than usual
• sudden headache with vision problems, vomiting, confusion, slow heart rate, weak pulse, fainting, or slow breathing.

Rare but serious side effects may include:

• pain or unusual sensations in your back
• numbness, weakness, or tingly feeling in your legs or feet
• muscle weakness or loss of use
• loss of bowel or bladder control

Less serious Lupron side effects may include:

• acne, increased growth of facial hair
• dizziness, weakness, tired feeling
• hot flashes, night sweats, chills, clammy skin
• nausea, diarrhea, constipation, stomach pain
• skin redness, itching, or scaling
• joint or muscle pain
• vaginal itching or discharge
• breast swelling or tenderness
• testicle pain
• impotence, loss of interest in sex
• depression, sleep problems (insomnia), memory problems
• redness, burning, itching, or swelling where the shot was given

"This is not a complete list of side effects and others may occur." Oh, great.

The bolded items are the ones I'm ALREADY experiencing from the BCPs. How happy does this make me? I guess these symptoms aren't going away any time soon.

For now, the good news is that I get to stop taking the BCPs on thursday. And in less than a month, they'll be retrieving what I hope is LOADS of eggs from my ovaries while I am completely unconscious and while DH is "providing his sample" in another room.

There is something completely wrong with this entire process. But as long as I get my baby - i don't care.

photo credit

Is that wrong too?