May 31, 2012

39 Weeks

6 days until my due date! I saw my midwife today, and she said to expect to go 10 days past my due date. She also said to drink more water, and to do 10 minutes of pelvic rocking a day in order to encourage my baby to change her position again. She is still head down, but not facing the right direction. I am feeling great these days as far as my stomach goes, but I am feeling more exhausted everyday. Mr Lucky Bud has been great and has been taking the kids in the evenings if I want to rest.

I am trying to treat everyday like it could be the day I go into labor, so I am trying to focus on eating great and getting plenty of rest.

I have been hoping to have our baby in June sine our deductible resets June 1st, so it would be better to have the deductible met at the beginning of the cycle, then to have to pay it all in May and then have to start all over. I only have 7 more hours until June 1st, so I think I am going to make it.

Well, here is until next week, unless something happens before that!

39 Weeks pregnant

May 28, 2012

Nothing New

Acupuncture is going well, I have talked with another girl that did acupuncture and got pregnant about her experiences seeing various acupuncturist. She had similar experiences in that they were all different and she ended up going with the one that was the most thorough. Her's unfortunately is about an hour away so I won't be going to her for acupuncture but I may go up for a nutrition and herbal recommendation. Last month I started doing the ovulation tests but I didn't start testing till day 12 in my cycle so I am not sure if I already had. This cycle I got a faint positive last night and so I am going to take another one tonight to see if it is a stronger positive. If so that is a good sign that the acupuncture is helping since I haven't ovulated on my own in a couple of years. We are still moving forward with IVF in July/August but have continued to look further into our other options if this round doesn't work. Mr. EB and I are off to Oahu today for the week and are looking forward to lots and lots of relaxation and sun!!!

May 27, 2012

38 Weeks 3 Days

This week has been great! It has probably been one of the best weeks of my pregnancy. I haven't thrown up  even once which never happens and I have tons of energy. I have gotten all the things I wanted to done and am just enjoying the time I have before the baby is born to get a few extra things done and to play with the kids.

I had my midwife apt and that was fine. The babies heartbeat is gradually getting slower, but the midwife said that that is normal. I did my strep test culture and that was about it.

We met with our embryo donors last weekend. It was a great visit. We met in Philadelphia at a mall that had a play area and a carousel. After the kids played we had dinner at a California Pizza and then headed back to Maryland. They are very friendly people and have a great family and we feel lucky to have them as part of our growing extended family.

I finished up that crib bumper that I had put away after getting frustrated with it. I know you are not supposed to use crib bumpers with babies, and I just made it for later. The pictures kind of turned out bad, but it gives you an idea.

38 Weeks(0 days) Pregnant
Here is a view of the crib bump

Here is the finished puff quilt and the crib bumper

House Arrest

Apparently, this pregnancy isn't going to be normal.  Whatever normal is.

Last Tuesday, I was talking on the phone with my mother.  I had just scheduled my first appointment with my OB/GYN, and I was telling her everything that they had said.

I felt something wet in underwear and immediately thought-  Did I just wet myself?  I walked to the bathroom (phone still in hand) and pulled my underwear down.  Mr. Bossy followed me in. There were two large spots of blood.  As I wiped, there was lots more blood.  I remember being more calm than last time; I think I may have just been in shock.  I told my mom about the blood and her response was, "Don't freak out."  Easier said than done.

I got off of the phone and immediately phoned my nurse.  She was amazingly calm and didn't sound concerned at all.  She told me to put on a pad and assess the bleeding every 15 minutes.  If it didn't begin to taper off within the hour, then Mr

 Bossy would need to take me to the ER.  Her calmness is what kept me sane.  She said that I could have easily "overdone" it that day at work, or there may have been a blood pocket (I've since researched this).

I obediently returned to the bathroom every 15 minutes.  The bleeding began to quickly taper off and eventually became light spotting.  By the next morning, there was barely anything on the toilet paper.  I emailed my nurse to inform her of what had happened after we had spoken and to see what she and my RE recommended.  I was ready to leave work at any point to go in to my RE's office for a visit.  Surprisingly, she didn't want to see me.  She did; however, want to me take the next 10 days off from work and rest.

Here I am.  Day 4 of rest/relaxation and I'm bored out of my mind!  Mr. Bossy won't let me do a thing around the house, and I'm already tired of watching tv.  I'll do it though.  I'll sit here with a smile on my face if it means this baby is safe.

On a positive note, all of my symptoms have intensified.  I'm extremely exhausted, I have major food aversions, and the nausea is awful!  I've already lost my breakfast once this week.

Today, I am 8 weeks/2 days, and my next appointment is June 12th.  June 12th can't get here quick enough!

      Bossy Bud

May 23, 2012

Baby SB is Here Part II

I started to be induced around 3 pm on Tuesday.  It started off with the magnesium sulfate hook up. I had to be on this because of the pre eclampsia - it prevents seizures.  Honestly, I would have rather had the seizure.  When this drug is first turned on, it feels like the room goes to 100 degrees for about 15 minutes.  If that is not bad enough, you cannot get up to walk around (hello bed pan), makes you have flu like symptoms, exhausts the hell out of you and causes you to be a little out of it.  I was on this devil drug for three whole days (you have to be on it 24 hours after delivery too) - it was awful.

After the magnesium, they put a little pill on my cervix to try to dilate it or soften it up (as I was a little out of it, I forget).  Then you wait 4 hours, and they check you.  If nothing happens, they will do it again.  This was my first 8 hours of labor.  I came in 1 centimeter dilated all this little pill did was soften my cervix - no more dilation.

During this time I should mention that Baby SB's heartbeat would drop every time I went to the bathroom - I have no idea why.  People would just come rushing in my room and throw an oxygen mask on my face and turn me on my side, then he was fine.  From that point on, I was no longer allowed to be on my back and my legs were cramping up horribly.  It was some scary stuff.  Apparently I was having a lot of contractions too - none of which I could even feel.  Since the contractions were coming so often, they thought it was putting the baby in distress so they gave me another drug to slow them down which made me feel like I had taken no less than 10 Hydroxycuts (the kind that are illegal now - remember those?) and made my heart feel like it was jumping out of my chest.  This led me into a mild panic attack.

After the 8 hours with no progress, they decided to literally blow up my cervix.  I think it was called a foley balloon.  They use this to dilate you even further.  As this sounded like medieval torture to me, I immediately asked for an epidural. 

And let me tell you - the epidural freaked me the eff out.  Like, I threw up because I was so scared (P.S. no reason to be scared of the epidural - it is your friend.  I will never understand that I can get piercings and tattoos and not even flinch, but if you dare stick me with a needle for medical purposes, I will spaz out).  It took forever to put in, because I was sitting lopsided.  The poor lady putting it in could not figure out why the hec it wasn't going in straight.  After we figured out why, Baby SB's heart rate dropped again while the epidural was nearly finished.  I had 12 medical professionals in my room.  His heart rate went back up and the epidural was in place.

The foley made me dilate to 4 + centimeters (whatever that means) and it stayed there for over 24 hours - no progression was made and I felt like I was being tortured.  They broke my water too, and now I think it is hilarious all of the times that I thought I was leaking amniotic fluid during pregnancy - Ha.....hahahahahaha (good god you will KNOW)! They also couldn't monitor my contractions from the outside anymore, and they had to insert something inside of me.  It wasn't so bad until Baby SB started tugging on it (oh I kid you not), and they had to keep reinserting it.  After the third time I told them no more and they would have to come up with another plan.

Lets fast forward to Thursday morning (hi - I was in latent labor for about 40 hours).  My doctor I have been going through my entire pregnancy with comes in and asks me how I am doing.  I tell him miserable and he agrees with me.  He told me that obviously things were not progressing, and asked if I wanted a c section.  I said yes and tried my hardest not to kiss him on the lips (have I mentioned to you how good looking my doctor is?  Mr. SB and I call him Dr. Sexy and think that he is the reason my blood pressure was high.  However, I would have kissed a gross old man with tongue if they offered me a c section at this point).  Before I knew what was happening, I was prepped for surgery and was being wheeled into the OR.

William Kenneth was born at 8:48 am and at that moment, I could have cared less if I was in labor for a month.  He was so worth it.  He was checked over, determined that no extra care was needed and was then placed in Mr. SB's arms.  I kissed him on his head and just stared at him for the rest of the surgery.  I can't get over how much he looks like my husband.  I'll spare you the pictures of him with guts all over him on the scale (only parents think those are cute - to others they are gross).

My world has now changed forever and I couldn't be happier.  This little boy has stolen my heart and I will never be the same again.  Check out this handsome guy....

So I guess this is Sarcastic Bud signing off.  Thank you all for sharing my journey with me and to all of you struggling with infertility, please do not give up until you are holding your LOs in your arms.

May 22, 2012

17w3d, and moving right along :)

Hello, everyone!!!

I am going to continue with the little template I started using last time... I find this kind of helps me give a thorough update without sounding TOO boring. Some of the weeks are uneventful, with no major appointments or Ultrasounds... so, here we go!

How far along: 17 weeks, 3 days!!

Total weight change: +6 total, based on Doctor's office scale. We have no scale at home... Have to wait until my next weigh in :)

Maternity clothes: Same as last time... The only thing "maternity" I have purchased has been a belly band, which I use with most of my jeans... I have one pair of jeans left that fit comfortably, because they were huge on me pre-pregnancy... but ALL others are either too tight or don't close at all. I feel most comfortable in leggings, stretchy pants and dresses. 

Stretch Marks: Yes, same as before, unfortunately :( I bought some "Bio Oil" which has come highly recommended for this "issue", and I am hoping it works. It does smell nice, though :)

Movement: None, that I've noticed. 

Sleep: Sleeping very nicely, thanks to my NEW Boppy Total Body Pillow! OMG!!! A girl at work recommended it to me, and said it would be my BFF during pregnancy. Boy, was she right! I LOVE that thing! I actually wake up refreshed, with no backaches or drowsiness. I HIGHLY recommend it! It's got the Diva Bud Stamp of Approval ;) 

Best Moment This Past Week: Buying my Boppy, and seeing my good friend's ultrasound picture! She is due January 8th :)

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: Tossing my ENTIRE breakfast on the way to buy the pillow :( I was in the car with Mr. DBud, and had just had Denny's (which I normally am not too fond of, but was hungry, so whatever). We were almost at the store, when I started feeling really weird. I got this tingly feeling throughout my head, like my blood was completely draining out of it, and I started to almost "black out", I told Mr. DBud to pull over, and almost let it go right there (which would be the 2ND time in my 4 month old, special ordered, car). He pulled over, and opened the door, leaned out, and let-it-rip! My entire breakfast ended up on the pavement. Mr. DBud said my lips were WHITE. He gave me some gum to chew, and then I was fine. Like nothing happened. Oh, well :(

Belly Button In or Out: In. I took out my belly ring so that I can let the piercing heal from this little infection it has... and it is getting better, so yay!

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing major... Just want some Arizona Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey... Other than that, just can't eat too much without getting sick, like before. 

Symptoms: Occasionally tired, but I blame that on things being so hectic... MS has died down a bit (aside from that episode I had), so I am hoping it is gone for good. Boobies are currently not sore, so yay! 

Lastly, and this is aside from the pregnancy stuff... In 2 days, I will be celebrating a milestone Birthday :) I will be turning 30! I can hardly believe it! But you know what they say... 30 is the new 20, and I don't feel a day over 21 (and some people think I am in my early 20s anyway) ;) I set out to be pregnant or have my first child by 30, and so far, so good! Mr. DBud said he is taking me out to Dinner, and that it's a surprise... so let's see what he has in store ;) 

Until next time!!!!

May 21, 2012

The sweetest sound!

I went back to my RE last Friday (5/18) for another ultrasound after my spotting scare.  Needless to say, I was worried sick and didn't sleep well the night before.  My mom took the morning off to go with me since Mr. Bossy Bud can't get a lot of time of from work. 

We arrived 30 minutes late due to being directed off of the interstate because a truck overturned.  Then, it took my RE 15 minutes to come into the room.  It was all worth the wait, though.

Baby Bossy Bud looked great; measuring at 7 weeks 1 day. :)

I think I've listened to this video a dozen times already.  It's music to my ears.

Bossy Bud

May 18, 2012

Baby SB is Here! Part I

Yes, you read that correctly.  Mr. William decided to come 4.5 weeks early on May 10, 2012.  He weighed 6 lbs 4 ounces and was 20.5 inches long.  Amazingly, no NICU was required.  He came out perfect and I cannot even begin to tell you how lucky I feel.

I must warn you though - reading my birth story is not for the faint of heart.   Even though I had a wonderful outcome, my labor and delivery was kind of a train wreck and probably would scare the curap out of me if I was reading it having never gone through the experience.  So please read at your own risk.

I woke up the Monday before my delivery and immediately took my blood pressure as I had every morning for the past three months.  It was then that I knew something was wrong.  Usually in the morning it is between 115-120/70 or 80s.  That day it was 142/84.  Even though it was a reading that was not in the danger zone for my blood pressure, I knew it was not normal for me.  I called my doctor's office to inform them, and they told me to sit tight and if any other symptoms came about, to come down to triage.  Sounded like a plan.

I continued about my day, but around 5 pm I became extremely dizzy and light headed.  A call was placed once again to my doctor's office and Mr. SB and I made our way down to triage at our hospital.

**Side Note** Even though my water didn't break and I was no where near delivering, Mr. SB still treated our trip to the hospital as though I was in active labor.  He drove like a maniac, almost plowed over some poor old lady in the elevator with a walker (he claimed she blended into the wall) and I was told to "hurry up and walk faster."  I thought this was hilarious.

Once in triage, my blood pressure numbers were high.  Again, not extremely high, but worse than what they were.  For the first time ever my labs were slipping as well.  Kidney function was getting worse and my platelet numbers were dropping.  After surviving over 8 weeks since my diagnosis, pre e was starting to rear its ugly head.

I was admitted to the hospital for overnight observation and was sent first thing on Tuesday morning for a growth ultrasound.  Little SB was measured to be 6 lbs and 14 ounces at 35 weeks and 3 days.  I knew at that moment they were going to push for delivery.

After my ultrasound as I had predicted, a few doctors came in to talk to me about my options.  They recommended delivery.  My labs were getting worse and although I was not in danger yet, it was around the corner (pre e can go from mild to scary pretty quickly).  They said that if I wanted, I could stick it out in the hospital and see how much my body could take, but that was not worth the risk to me and my baby.  I agreed to go in for an induction and a few hours later I was whisked away to labor and delivery.

Stay tuned for my next installment :)

May 16, 2012

37 Weeks

I am 37 weeks pregnant and FULL TERM! HOORAY! I couldn't' think of much to say this week, so I thought I would follow suit with Diva bud and use Cactus Bud's update template.

How far along: 37 Weeks

Total weight change: up 22 lbs from my pre pregnancy weight plus I gained back the 4 or 5 I lost in the first trimester.

Maternity clothes: All the time. 

Stretch Marks: Not yet, but keeping my figures crossed. 

Movement: Baby was no longer posterior at Fridays visit, but after all the movement I was feeling in the middle of the night on Monday, I am not sure that is still the case. 

Sleep: Not very good. Feeling uncomfortable and waking often to eat or pee. Wishing that the boys did not wake up at 6:15 a.m. most days. 

Best Moment This Past Week: Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: My best moments are reaching the full term point and having my baby shower, and the most difficult was getting a 24 hour flu bug today. I haven't even been able to keep down anything including water, but luckily Mr L. Bud stayed home with the kids while I rested. 

Belly Button In or Out: In, but pretty even with the rest of my belly at this point

Cravings/Aversions: Craving sweets, trying to fill that craving with strawberries and other fruits instead of junk food as much as possible. I still can't eat a bunch of things without throwing up, including eggs. Today the guacamole on my burrito almost made me lose it. 

Symptoms: Heart burn and feeling exhausted most of the time. 

Results and Future Plans

Results came in last Tuesday and I'm not sure if I should be surprised, happy, sad, or relieved.
Count was 20 million.
Motility was 45%

The results were not as bad as what I had thought but still I felt a loss for words after receiving them. From what my RE's office told me a count of 20 million is the absolute lowest it should be in order to achieve pregnancy. I was also advised motility should be at least 50%. Mr BB's numbers could not of been that bad prior to his inguinal hernia surgery back in November. All 4 pregnancies prior to the surgery were achieved during the 1st month of trying. That is why I am 100% convinced it was the surgery that did this to him.

I told my RE that I wanted him to go see his regular doctor and possibly his surgeon to figure out what the hell they screwed up. I think it took him a couple of days for those numbers to sink in. So now, I wait for him to make an appointment with his doctor. Which by the way is like holding a candle in a hurricane.

Once he finally does get to see his doctor and if they tell him what they have done to him is not reversible, my plans are to go in for another consultation with my RE to discuss our options. I could NEVER EVER EVER afford IVF but I have heard about IUI. It's seems about the only promising thing at this we will see. 

In regards to my PCOS, I went this Monday for my follow-up blood work with my regular Endocrinologist (Not my RE). They posted the results today and here is what they look like:

FSH  2.7 mIU/mL
LH    7.4 mIU/mL
Plus a bunch of other stuff that isn't really fertility related. 

I was not provided with a guide for normal levels so I really have nothing to reference except for google search results. I pretty sure they should of tested it on CD3 but they didn't; I'm assuming b/c it is not an RE's office. Their results didn't say "Normal," but instead "High LH:FSH. I go back this upcoming Monday to go over the results with the Endo. 

I haven't temped in what seems like FOREVER and it feels kind of nice. I haven't been obsessing like I was there for about six months and it feels like such a load off my mind. Ya, I'm still terrified that I will never have a baby, most importantly Mr. BB's baby, but this time to rest has been welcoming (after I got thru the first few days of withdrawals of course).

I'm off to Florida at the end of May and I am stoked. My girlfriend and I are flying into Tampa and staying there for a few days. Then headed to our usual spot in Clearwater. From there we are hanging out near St.Pete and stopping at some different cities on the way to our Beachfront hotel in Ft.Myers. Parasailing is on the agenda and I couldn't be more excited. All I will focus on while I'm there is my toes in the sand, the sunshine on my face, and laughin at old geezers in purple banana hammocks.

Until next time....................

-Buckeye Bud

May 14, 2012

16w2d and GENDER!!!!!

I know I've been MIA, but between wrapping up the Opera Season, End of Year School Activities, and other things, I have been a bit nothing short of overwhelmed... Anyway, I have some MAJOR updates :)

Since things are crazy lately, I thought I'd adopt an "update" template from a former blogger, Cactus Bud, in order to keep you in the loop, and not forget any details ;) Here we go...

How far along: 16 weeks, 2 days!!

Total weight change: +6 total, based on Doctor's office scale. We have no scale at home...

Maternity clothes: The only thing "maternity" I have purchased has been a belly band, which I use with most of my jeans... I have one pair of jeans left that fit comfortably, because they were huge on me pre-pregnancy... but ALL others are either too tight or don't close at all. I feel most comfortable in leggings, stretchy pants and dresses. 

Stretch Marks: Yes, unfortunately :( I had some pre-pregnancy on my very low belly (apparently I am susceptible to them, cause I have them on my breasts as well). But, a few weeks ago, I noticed 2 little lines to the right of my belly button. Since to the left I had a couple of veins, I wrote them off as veins as well... but turns out they are NOT veins :-/ Gotta get something to put on them ASAP. 

Movement: Last week, I was taking a nap on the couch... I don't know if it was my imagination or what, but I felt some weird movement really low. Haven't felt it again since, so we'll see :)

Sleep: Still sleeping well... but I blame that on the fact that I have been EXTREMELY busy, and therefore EXTREMELY exhausted. 

Best Moment This Past Week: Finding out the sex of the baby, Mother's Day, and continuing to receive gifts for our LO :)

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: On Thursday, I sort of slipped and went to a knee (didn't completely fall on the floor or anything) but that had me a bit concerned. Luckily, nothing happened :)

Belly Button In or Out: In. I bought a maternity belly ring, but it's been a bit irritated even since before, so sometimes I wear it, and sometimes I don't... I have been putting vinegar and water with salt on it. Hopefully it gets better soon!

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing major... just can't eat too much without getting sick :-/

Symptoms: Occasionally tired, but I blame that on things being so hectic... MS has died down a bit, so I am hoping it is gone for good. Boobs and nipples are sore from time to time, but nothing too major :)

Now, for the good stuff....

On Saturday, Mr. DBud and I decided to have an elective US for Gender. We went to this awesome place in Doral called The Bonding Site, which was amazing! If you are in the South Florida area, I HIGHLY recommend it :) :) :)

Anyway, we were able to find out that our LO is a.....

We are BEYOND thrilled!!! Now, we have to officially decide on a name, and start getting things really ready :) I purchased a Stuffed Bear that has the baby's heartbeat recorded on a battery operated pack, so that when you squeeze it, you hear the heartbeat... ADORABLE!!! When HE is born, we will order the sweater with the babies info for it :) Here is the website for the Teddy Bear :)

Until next time!!!!! <3 <3 <3

May 13, 2012

36 Weeks Pregnant

Well here is my official 36 week post. Our baby is about 6 lbs by now and gaining about an ounce a day! That is incredible! She should be about 18.5 inches long by now. On Monday I got the fabric that I had ordered online to make our babies crib bumper. I got really excited and worked on it way too late...about 1:30 am. I worked on it the next day too, but made so many mistakes that I got fed up and decided not to work on it anymore, and put it away for a while. Unfortunately I wore myself down from staying up that night, and not eating quite right that day. I can't believe how long it has taken me to recover! I have felt just awful all week, and even went to sleep  by 7 pm on Thursday and Friday. I am feeling a bit better now, but think I am just starting to be a little worn out over all since I don't sleep well these days. I have sworn not to stay up past 10 for the rest of my pregnancy!

I had my 36 week home visit from my midwives on Friday in preparation for my home birth. Even though it was pretty uneventful, I have been really excited for this day, just because it is kind of a mile marker, and I could give birth at home now anytime if she were to come early. They brought over my birthing tub and we will have to do a dry run to practice setting it up. I have all my supplies together for the birth, and I have started making a bunch of dinners in advance to freeze so that I won't have to worry about cooking for the first few weeks. I am feeling really prepared now and am anxious for our babies arrival, although I am starting to get a little nervous about the labor and birth. I am afraid that I will be a complete wimp and not be able to handle it.

My baby shower was on Saturday. It was fun to start getting some cute girly things. I had fun and it was fun to see all of my friends together to celebrate our baby coming!

We have made final plans to meet up with our embryo donors this Saturday in Philadelphia at a mall there. I thought it would be a good place to meet up because then the boys will have a place to run around at the play area, and Little Lucky Bud will be excited about the indoor carousel. It is a little over 3 hours away, and just weeks away from my due date, so I am a little nervous to drive so far, but I am sure it will be fine. By the way, that makes me think of Mr Lucky Bud's sister who for her second child only and an hour and a half of labor and her husband had to deliver the baby in the bathroom in an emergency. I hear it was a very intense and stressful thing. Although I would love to only have an hour and a half of labor, we definitely don't wan to be delivering any babies on our own!

The Saturday before Mother's day is Birth Mother's day. Baby Lucky Bud and I met up with his birth mother who only lives a half hour away. We had fun playing at a mall play area and then had dinner at Red Robbin. We had fun reminiscing on the day of Baby Lucky Buds birth, and on the emails we exchanged in the short two weeks before, as she found us and we got to know each other a little bit. It was a very exciting time for both of us and it is fun to look back on it. She is very proud that she was able to find parents for her son all by herself, and for us it was exciting for obvious reasons! It is funny that she was actually worried that we might not want to adopt our little bud because of the short notice!

Well that pretty much sums up what is happening right now. I am so excited for all of my fellow buds that are pregnant right now too. Congratulations again to all of you!

On Edge.

Mr. Bossy & I have kept Lil' Bossy Bud a secret these past two weeks.  Only family and close, close friends know.  I can count on both hands how many people know that we're pregnant.

We decided this because of our miscarriage last November.  It is the most awful thing having to tell people that there isn't going to be a baby.  I NEVER want to do that again.

I've been taking it easy, and Mr. Bossy has been pampering me a lot.  Thursday evening, I went to use the bathroom before we were suppose to head out for dinner with a friend.  I always look at the toilet paper after I wipe.  It's just a habit.  This time, I saw a little bit of blood.  I immediately started shaking and ran to the kitchen to tell Mr. Bossy.  He barely got any words out before I was dialing my RE's office.  I told the receptionist my name and explained the situation.  Within minutes, my nurse was on the phone asking me what was wrong (the receptionist told her it was me). I was hysterical when I told her about the blood.  She was amazingly calm and asked me a few questions.

Is there a lot of blood?
Are you cramping?
Did you lift anything heavy today?

All of my answers were no.  She put me on hold while she spoke to my RE.  After what felt like a million years, she came back and had booked me for an 8:00 am appointment the next morning. 

I spent the rest of the evening in tears (needless to say- we did not go out to dinner) and prayed over and over again.  I called my mom and she offered to come over (she lives 10 minutes away), but I told her there was nothing she could do.  I spoke with my dad next, and he offered to take me to the doctor the next morning since Mr. Bossy couldn't take time off.  The spotting disappeared for the rest of the night.

I had sent my alarm for 6:00 am, but I woke at 5:00 and couldn't fall back asleep due to nerves.  I went ahead and got ready.  My dad arrived, and we began the hour drive to the RE's office.  He was chatty on the way, and I know he was trying to keep my mind off of things.

We got there right on time, and my nurse immediately called me back.  She took me back to the room and left me to get undressed.  I immediately put on my lucky socks!

My RE and my nurse both came into the room, and my RE asked me how I was doing.  I replied with- scared!!  She put the "magic" wand in and there it was- the gestational sac.  She measured and zoomed in.  In the top corner, she pointed out the fetus.  And then she saw it- a  flicker on the screen.  The heartbeat.  I was exactly 6 weeks, so she came into the room saying that we probably wouldn't see a heartbeat-  but we sure did.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  She said that everything looked great and for me to spend the rest of the day with my feet up.  30% of women spot a little and my RE's office expect their IVF patients to bleed.  I sure wish I had known this!

I reminded her that during my first pregnancy I had spotted, came in for a visit, saw the heartbeat, and during my return visit we discovered that the heart had stopped.  Of course, I had tears in my eyes and my lip was trembling as I said this.  I'm such a baby.  She reassured me that there was nothing else we could do.  I needed to stay positive.  My chances of having another miscarriage were extremely low.  I sure hope she is right.

Since then- the Lord and I have had many daily conversations, and I have been using "please" a lot.  I'm sad to say that I don't think I'll be officially excited until we get a little further along.  We love this baby and want to hold it in our arms more than anything.  I hope we do.

May 9, 2012

36 Weeks

I am 36 weeks now! I just thought I would post a picture and then write a post this weekend after my home visit and baby shower. A huge congratulations to Bossy Bud!
36 Weeks

May 5, 2012

25 weeks...and some change

Today marks 25 weeks 3 days > 102 days left!.  LO is the size of an eggplant this week and Parker is now about 1.5 pounds and is approximately 14 inches long from crown to rump.  His movements are becoming more pronounced every day and I love to sit up in bed and watch my belly jump and roll.

My mom and I picked up the nursery furniture yesterday!  =o)  It's so exciting...I wish I had a nursery to assemble them in (we're in the middle of some renovations).  But that's okay.  It will be just as exciting, if not more, in the next few weeks.  We bought a set from Burlington Coat Factory with a crib, chest of drawers and changing table.  I like them very much.

As far as pregnancy symptoms this week?  Well, the heartburn is back...with a vengeance!  I keep a bottle of Tums with me at all times!  And my ankles!!!!!  Oh man, they're beginning to swell.  It's not cute, especially since I'm on my feet all day at work.  I've had some people remark that I have that "glow" now, which I don't see at all.  But hey, I don't mind them saying it one little bit.  And I love how I've begun to notice how people/patients no longer question whether or not I'm pregnant.  Instead of hesitantly asking "are you pregnant?" like they don't want to insult me, they now ask "when are you due?"  It's fabulous and I know that I light up whenever someone asks.

I have my glucose tolerance test next Monday - the day after Mother's Day.  I'm nervous but slightly excited for the simple reason that it marks another milestone in my pregnancy (I will be just 2 days away from my last week of the 2nd trimester).

I'm attempting to do better with my posting, so I will write again soon!

May 4, 2012

35 weeks

Only 33 days to go! Every week when I write a post I just can't believe how fast the weeks are flying by.

My much anticipated home visit from my midwives is next Friday. There are a bunch of things that I am supposed to have together before the visit, and I have most of it done, which is a relief.

I am looking forward to my baby shower which is next Saturday. I have never really had a baby shower before, so I am excited to be able to do some of the things that you normally get to do when you have a baby, like have a baby shower, and breastfeed. I am also excited about another visit with our donors which will probably happen in two weeks.

 I am still trying so hard to wrap up my many projects, but at this point am excited for the baby to come and not really worried if I get everything done or not. My goal is to have everything done by my baby shower and then I will have a few weeks to take it easy and play with the kids.

Our baby is around 18 1/2 inches long and 5 1/4 lbs at this point. Most of her development is done, and now she is just working on putting on weight. Her position  is still posterior, so I am hoping still that she will turn soon. There is a website called that my midwife recommended that I check out.

Things are going really well overall (I still throw up every few days). I am enjoying being pregnant and feeling my baby moving inside me. I am very excited to meet her. It is just around the corner!

May 3, 2012

Beta #2

BETA #2 = 670!!! 

Mr. BBud and I have our first ultrasound appointment on May 22nd. 

Currently-  I'm feeling some twinges and mild cramping, but that's to be expected.  I do have sore boobies, but that could also be because of the progesterone shots I take each evening.  I have been in bed by 8:30 the past two nights!!

Stay put, little one!  We love you so much already. :)

Bossy Bud

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