CD23

So today is my CD23. No reason to think I am preggers. My tatas have been sore the past couple of days but that has been happening the past couple of months after I O (or think I have O'd). I had some cramps 2 days ago (7dpo) but I have nothing to blame it on. Here is my current chart:

As you can see, nothing spectacular. Trying to compare my chart to the past few months charts, I havn't really noticed any trends or patterns. I'm not supposed to start my period for another 6 days and my temp is dropping already. Not sure what to make of that.

Tonight I begin my new dosage of Glumetza. 1000mg's for the next 7 days. I have yet to have any side effects of the 500mg's I've been on for the past 7 days. But I have been sure to only take the meds after a meal just as my Endo advised. Hopefully I will avoid the side effects entirely.

I keep trying to tell myself that my situation is only going to be downhill from here. I'm getting this PCOS under control. And I've got my MTHFR mutations taken care of with my new NeevoDHA prenatal. I'm just praying this will happen for me and Mr. BB this Spring.

That's all I have for now.....will post updates if they come.

Belated Birth Story, part 1

Howdy everyone! Long time no see. Sorry about that! As I said in my previous post way back in October, my November 11-11-11 baby decided that he wanted to be a September baby! Despite being 6w2d early, and 18 days in the NICU he is home and thriving! At almost 5 months he weighs about 14lbs! It won't be too long now before he triples his 5lb 4oz birth weight. 

Here is the start of my birth story. It's long (I started having contractions 5 days before he was born!) and I think I'll probably also give a summary of his nearly 3 weeks in the NICU before he came home too. So this will be a multi-post story as my farewell. Congrats to all the recent BFPs, and I hope for more soon!

Everything started the day after my 27th birthday. On my birthday, everything seemed fine. I went to work, came home, Mr. Teacher Bud and I went out to dinner, came home, and did a Grey's Anatomy Marathon. I felt huge, but it was perfect.

The next day was homecoming for Mr. Teacher Bud's College Alma Mater, and his 5 year reunion. We were running late (of course!) so he dropped me off to pick up our tickets, and went to park the car. I had 2 FULL water bottles with me (the big stainless steel kind, not a 20oz.) I slowly walked (waddled) the 2 blocks to the stadium, where I met up with Mr. Teacher Bud and some friends. Because we were late, the only seats were waaaaay up at the top of the bleachers. It was a struggle getting up there, let me tell you! It was one of those days, that was sweltering when the sun was on you, but it was also windy, and when the sun went behind a cloud it was down right cold. Sitting on bleachers is also not great when you are 33 weeks pregnant - no back =ouch!

Close to half time, I started having contractions. I assumed they were just Braxton-Hicks, and were probably because A) it was hot, and B) I had to pee. So I climbed down the bleachers and went to the bathroom. I had several more contractions, and man! Those suckers HURT! I stayed in the bathroom for a while, and got to 5 contractions before they finally stopped. (When I had had BH contractions over the summer, my midwives said to call if I had 6 or more in an hour.)

I went back to the bleachers, and told Dan, and we agreed to try to take is easy the rest of the day, but we weren’t too worried. We’d used up our worry with the BH in July! Our group of friends decided to leave the game after the halftime show and go walk around campus. As we were walking to the first building they wanted to visit, I had a few more contractions, but, I was outside of the previous hour. I had 2-3 while we were walking, so when I got to the building, I parked myself in a chair. I had 2 more contractions before they stopped. Again, only 5 in an hour. We sat for a half an hour before continuing on. After about 20-30 minutes on my feet, the contractions started again. Same pattern, 2-3, sit down, 2 more, stop. We had one more stop to make, and again, the same thing. I could make it 20 min on my feet before they would start.

At this point, we decided I would just stay out of the heat, sit, and drink lots of water for the rest of the day. We went to his reunion, and I had a few more contractions, but only maybe 5 more over the next 6 hours or so, as I stayed seated the whole time.

We decided that this was just my body’s way of telling me I was over doing it, and so I would just take in easy from now on. I stayed on the couch for all of Sunday, but still planned to go to work on Monday. I’m a teacher, so I stand a lot at work. Luckily, my 1^st hour was taking a test, so I could just sit, and my 2^nd and 3^rd hours had their final research day for their project, so I could mostly sit then too. I decided to change my afternoon plans a bit, and bring a movie incase I didn’t feel up to my original lesson plans.

Monday morning when I woke up, I felt like the baby had dropped. As I described it at the time – my boobs no longer rested on my stomach. I made an executive decision that my afternoon classes would DEFINITELY be watching that movie afterall, and debated calling my midwives. Throughout that morning I also had some tummy troubles. I was having repeated loose bowels, which I knew could be a sign that the body was clearing itself out for labor. That was the nail in the coffin – I was calling.

To be continued…

It never hurts to ask.

It's shocking how much infertility can cost. Especially when your insurance doesn't cover it.

Mr. Bossy and I are OOP for all infertility procedures. Fortunately, my hysteroscopy was covered by insurance due to my PCOS diagnosis, and I do receive free metformin from our local grocery store's pharmacy because of their fight against diabetes. But nothing else is covered. Florida BCBS just doesn't have it in their plan.

We knew this when we began our journey, and we've been blessed with a generous family. We went with the Attain Program that works exclusively with our clinic. We paid $15,700 for four attempts (two fresh and two frozen). Meds for our first fresh cycle amounted to almost $3,000! Our RE is positive that one of our attempts will result in our take home baby.

After the d&c, Mr. Bossy and I returned to see our RE to discuss the FET protocol. As we were leaving, I spoke with the receptionist to pay for our visit (Insurance does cover for me to see a specialist. My co-pay is $40 per visit). The receptionist told me that we had a previous unpaid balance. [ I remembered receiving a statement in the mail from the clinic a few weeks prior with an amount that I didn't agree with. At the time, I called the billing department and spoke with someone in charge. She agreed that something wasn't adding up, and she would have her boss look over my account with a "fine-toothed comb."] I relayed the information to the receptionist, and she told me that the amount had become larger due to insurance not covering the entire d&c. Everything totaled to almost $500. I was livid. The receptionist was really nice, and told me that she would write a note on my account to have the billing department call me again. I did NOT pay the full amount that day. I had some calls to make.

I called my insurance company to question the amount that was not covered. I'm typically a very go-with-the-flow kind of person. I do what I'm told, and I don't rock the boat. Infertility costs have changed me entirely. I wanted to know why I owed such a large amount. A d&c is not infertility. Fertile women have miscarriages all of the time. I needed answers.

I spoke with a representative from BCBS. Now- with all of my anger, I was still able to be polite. I realize that the person on the other end of the line is not personally responsible for any mistakes that were made and being nasty to them isn't going to help the situation. I explained that I didn't understand the amount that I owed and it was more than I had expected to pay. The woman from BCBS was SO nice. As I explained our IVF and d&c, I began to cry. She completely understood, and she worked feverishly to find out why my coverage was denied. It took some time on the phone, but she agreed that insurance should have covered the entire procedure, and I should have only been charged my co-pay - $40! She submitted the claim to be re-reviewed and told me it would be about 30 business days until they made a decision. I told the representative that she was officially my new best friend!

The anesthesiologist had also charged me too much, and BCBS submitted that claim to be reprocessed. I was walking on air!

Yesterday- I received a new statement in the mail from BCBS saying that they had reprocessed my claim. I, now, only have to pay $40! When in doubt, it never hurts to ask!





Bossy Bud

25 Weeks

Only 101 days left until Baby Girls due date! Our baby is now 1 1/2 lbs, 13.5 inches, and growing fast! She is moving around plenty and I can often feel her kicks from the outside with my hand.

Overall I am feeling great except I have very mild heartburn in the day at times, and the past few nights I am having a hard time sleeping. I am not huge and uncomfortable yet, but it is just a combination of a lot of small things, like I keep getting hungry, have to pee so often, have a stuffy nose, cramping in my feet and non stop kicking from the Baby Girl. None of it is that bad, but all together I just can't sleep the past few nights. I was sooo tiered today and went to bed at 8pm, and here it is 1am and I still can't sleep. At least it is the weekend so Mr. Lucky Bud can watch the kids while I take a nap tomorrow.

I am having fun getting a lot of projects done and the house better organized before the baby is born. Knowing that the midwifes are going to be in my house is an extra motivator to get things a bit tidier and in order. I finished a little quilt last week that I made for the baby. I will have to post that picture and a belly picture this weekend since I didn't get around to that this week.

Hormone Update

So I don't know if it is the extra hormones but I am super emotional lately. I feel like crying most days and when I do man the water works are hard to stop. I am struggling to hold it together most days and am feeling super overwhelmed and jealous of all those people that have babies. I am sure it is just a phase but it is an annoying phase to say the least, I hate crying about a lot of nothing!!
I am supposed to go get my hormone levels checked but of course I have now lost the blood work order so I will have to locate the dang thing before getting my blood drawn! So we will see how high my levels are and if they still aren't high enough get more pellets put in.

I'm Finally Back.....

...............and knocked up.

Yep, after 4 miscarriages, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get my take home baby.

After my 4th miscarriage, I took a break from this blog and all things baby, for about a year. After coming home from vacation in July, I looked and Mr. SB and asked him if he wanted to give it the old college try again. If it didn't work this time, we would make our way to the Cleveland Clinic for IVF with genetic testing on the embryos - although deep down I know my heart couldn't take coming to that. Mr. SB agreed and I made a call to my RE that afternoon.

Our first cycle was in August. I upped my Clomid dose to 150 mgs (helllooo crazy!), and the cycle failed. My first only failed cycle with Clomid. Devil pills worked like a charm every time before. So, being the neurotic head case that I am, I convinced myself I couldn't even conceive anymore.

Next cycle was in September - 150 mgs again (poor Mr. SB).

10 DPO - nada

12 DPO - peed on stick, went in shower, washed hair, looked at stick, thought I saw 2 pink lines, thought my eyes were still "sleepy", jumped out of shower, woke up Mr. SB to confirm lines, lines confirmed by Mr. SB, phone call made to RE. Diagnosis? Pregnant.

The next few weeks was pretty much the hardest thing I have ever been through. Blood test after blood test to make sure the babe was growing. The first was the worst - especially since my beta was a mere 14. But 48 hours past, and it jumped to 110. Bingo.

And at 8 weeks I saw this, and was released from my RE:

To date, my most treasured picture. This is the little dude at 7 weeks 5 days with a strong heartbeat. One of my saddest days was saying goodbye to my RE's office, especially to Nurse K - who hugged me and cried with me when we found out I had miscarriage #4. Their last words to me were, "Make sure you send us a picture of your baby!", and my eyes instantly welled up with tears. It made it all seem so real - it was really happening - I was having a baby.

A few days after this picture was taken, morning sickness kicked in full force. Have you ever driven down a highway at about 65 mph, find yourself dry heaving and despite your best efforts can't find ANYTHING to puke into inside your car? And you find yourself praying to Baby Jesus that if he spares your freshly cleaned upholstery just this one time, you promise to never cuss, take a fake sick day or gossip (insert sin here) ever again? Well, that was a day in my life, and after that day, I never left home without my trusty puke bucket (pictured below):

I was one of those lucky broads that was sick for about 16 weeks. Not the oh, I kind of feel like I have bad heartburn sick, but the holy bajesus, I need to go to the bathroom now and oops I just puked on my pants kind of sick. I kept a peppermint teabag at my desk so I could just smell it when some idiot cooked fish or burnt popcorn in the break room. Ginger ale and saltines were my new besties that I couldn't go an hour without.

I also ate orange sherbert - a lot.

But as bad as it was, morning sickness gave me a great sense of security. If the dude wasn't growing, I wouldn't be hurling - so in a way I sort of appreciated it (not that I'd want it back or anything, but you know).

So this was a basic recap of my first trimester. I'll post again soon to recap the second (didn't want to make it too long).

Congrats to all my buds that are now pregnant (Diva, I'm looking at you!), and for the ones that aren't don't give up hope. You will all have your take home babies soon as long as you keep the faith.

5 weeks!!! <3

I can hardly believe it! 5 weeks! I know I still have a long way to go... But it's good to have already passed the dreaded stage of loss from last time, and feel like we're still going strong :) Even though the hospital had me at 5w5d, due to my long cycles and late O, at the time of MC, I was only 4w5d based on my O date (I have a 35 day cycle vs a 28).

Apparently, Baby is .10 of an inch and weighs next to nothing. He/she is about the size of a sesame seed! It's hard to believe that in the next few weeks, this tiny little being will start to take on all its human characteristics.

As far as symptoms, my breasts are sore, all the time. I am getting some heartburn, and have had moments when I am completely starving. I've also had to run to the bathroom for both #1 and #2, but lately #2 has had me a bit unhappy (slight diarrhea). Sorry if TMI. No other major symptoms just yet... Let's see what happens in the weeks to come :)

I am eating VERY healthy, cooking at home, using organic items and whole grains, etc. I am also keeping healthy snacks nearby and eating smaller meals more often.

I hope to finally make a decision about a practitioner today, so that I can call and make an appointment... It'll probably be within the next 3-5 weeks depending on the Dr.'s procedures.

Mr. DBud is beyond thrilled! He is being so sweet and helpful, and constantly asking how our little "Frijol" (bean) is. We are remaining cautiously optimistic... For now, all we can do is pray and stay positive :) I believe God will do the rest.



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Finally!!!

Aunt Flo arrived yesterday!! After cramping for almost a week, she finally showed her face. I have to admit, I was starting to wonder if we had succeeded on our own this cycle. But- she finally arrived, and I'm totally fine with it.

Now, it's time to get this show on the road! I immediately phoned my favorite nurse, and she instructed me to begin my BCPs on Thursday. I will take my last one on Thursday, March 8th. My first appointment for our FET is Monday, March 12th. I'm also supposed to begin retaking my metformin tonight. Who would have ever thought that I would be SO stinkin' excited about Aunt Flo showing AND starting BCPs?! As Mr. Bossy said to me this morning- "It's babymakin' time!"

I am also so excited for my sister buds!

Diva- I think about you every day! You've got this, girly! Sending you tons of positive vibes and sticky mojo. :)

Buckeye- I'm so glad that you were able to meet with your new RE, and you were finally given a diagnosis. What a relief you must have felt!

Curly- Glad to see you and Baby Curly are doing well! I was beginning to wonder where you've been.

Bossy Bud

Still going strong :)

I am so happy! 20DPO and still going strong :) I have continued temping and occasionally POAS just to make sure it's not too good to be true. Take a look at my last two FRER tests:

17DPO - late evening

20DPO - fmu

I think its a good sign when the test line is darker than the control line, and starts to show up before the control line as well ;)

Also, here is what my chart looks like as of this morning:



I had a bit of a temp jump this morning, which is reassuring. :)

I have been taking really good care of myself lately. I have been eating right, and not doing anything too strenuous. Mr. DBud has been helping a lot, too, which is great. He's been washing dishes, and helping me organize after our recent move. He was concerned cause I had some lower back pain yesterday, but I blame it on spending all day Monday organizing our house after our move (which I am still not done doing). Today, it is much better :)

I pray that this baby continues to grow, and that this pregnancy continues to progress. All position vibes and prayers are MUCH appreciated and welcomed :)



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Long Awaited Answers

I'm not sure I had ever been more excited to go to the doctor than I was today. Hold on, I take that back. Baby 1's 1st ultrasound was the most exciting moment of my life until I found out I had miscarried. But any who, I went to the endocrinologist today and met one of the most amazing doctors I have ever had the privilege of directly dealing with. After going over my recent blood work and all of my symptoms (which includes severe facial acne, facial hair (blonde, thank GOD), oily skin, irregular cycles, high testosterone levels, and infertility) she was able to diagnose me with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome)!!!

It might sound crazy but I could not be more excited to finally have someone confirm with me that there IS something wrong with me hormonally. In June of last year I had a dermatologist tell me that my acne was due to hormones. In August I had an acupuncturist tell me many of my symptoms were hormonal (excessive sweating and body heat) I wasn't sure how to approach my RE about this so it kind of just sat in the back of my mind. I certainly wasn't as educated about the reproductive system as I am now, otherwise I would of spoken up about it.

So, rather than Metformin, which is what most women seem to be treated with, my Endo chose to put me on the brand name GLUMETZA. Unlike immediate-release metformin, GLUMETZA is released slowly and steadily over several hours. This delay in the release of the medicine may result in fewer stomach-related side effects, such as nausea, in the 1st week of taking the medication. She wants to get me up to 2000mg a day, so here is my future dosing schedule:

Week 1: 500mg 1x day
Week 2: 1000 mg 1x day
Week 3: 1500 mg 1x day
Week 4: 2000 mg 1x day

She also advised she would like me to reduce my carbohydrate intake to less than 120g daily and my protein up to 60g daily (at least). She says that will boost my weight loss since I'm currently at a standstill after losing 20lbs.
**Also, She said that my initial weight gain is what actually brought the PCOS to the surface. Since I have been off of BC since April 2010, the weight gain triggered it. And even after losing the 20lbs it won't completely go away. It has actually made it worse for some strange reason. It gets worse each and every week.

SO, my other good news involves my 2 MTHFR gene mutations, which my Endo happened to know a lot about. For those who don't know what this is......it's a blood disease that deals with blood clotting and the inability for my body to metabolize Folic acid. She explained that the Folic acid that I currently have a prescription for (1mg 2x daily) is considered synthetic Folic acid. She wrote me a prescription for NEEVO DHA. This is a prenatal that also contains L-Methlyfolate, nature’s active form of folate as found in leafy green foods. L-methylfolate is superior to synthetic folic acid. Several months ago one of the BB Blog readers commented on my post about this so it has always been in my mind. And to my surprise today my Endo mentioned this so I became pretty excited. This will be taken in place of my existing Pre-Natal 1x daily. On a side note, she did tell me that these mutations were most likely the cause of my 3 miscarriages (not the 1 tubal though). No one has yet to tell me that (not even my RE) so it was such an amazing feeling to hear that news. Nearly 2 years I have been waiting to hear that.

If you also unfortunate enough to have 2 mutuations of the MTHFR gene and would like additional information, here is the brands website:
http://www.neevodha.com/

Well, that is all I have for now, I will be very surprised if many make it through reading this entire posting. If you do, I much appreciate it :) So I end this cold rainy day with hope in my heart. Sad songs didn't sound so sad today, and my optimism is at the highest it has been in a very very long time. Please keep me in your prayers that I will soon get my baby back. I know he is up there waiting for me to bring him back down :) Let's hope the 5th time's a charm!!

Seriously?!?!

Guys, I am SO sorry that it's been 3 weeks since my last post! It's super hard to believe. Life has been quite hectic lately...my brother left for Coast Guard boot camp, my dad's cancer has gotten worse, work has been really busy with sinus infections and bronchitis and we're changing to a new electronic medical records system at work and I have to stay after work a lot for classes. Plus, I got sick with a bad head cold a couple of weeks ago and then hurt my back last week. Whew! Ready for things to calm down a little.

Okay, first thing's first. ALRIGHT DIVA!!! Whoop whoop! Go 'head girl! That is FANTASTIC!!! I knew it was coming...I felt it in my bones. And I love the way you told Mr. DBud. Don't worry about a thing babe, ya'll got this!

I will be 15 weeks on Wednesday...so Skittle will be 13 weeks old. The crown to rump length for this week of pregnancy is 4-4.5 inches. Baby continues to grow rapidly. Skittle has thin skin and at this point you can see blood vessels through the skin. The lanugo hair covers the baby's body. It may be sucking it's thumb and its eyes are at the front of the face but still widely separated.

My symptoms have pretty much disappeared but I still get some nausea occasionally. The fatigue is pretty prevalent (cleaning the house is a major undertaking). I still get some cramping occasionally but I attribute it to "growing pains." I got a pair of maternity jeans and shirts a few weeks ago and am so much more comfortable. I have to wear a belly band at work (mostly for my back, though I do notice some abdominal cramping when I don't wear it) and my scrub tops and pants are getting pretty snug. My face still breaks out (something I've never been lucky enough to not have to worry about) but worse at the 4 week increments. I have more of a belly now, though mine still isn't as cute as Lucky's. I've gained about 9 pounds so far...something I intend to keep a closer eye on.

I listen to Skittle's heart beat about every other night before bed. I'd listen to it all night if I could. It's staying between 155 and 160. Mr. CB and I think we got to feel baby move the other weekend. It was Sunday morning and I had to pee (big surprise, right?) so my uterus was pushed up. I decided to try and see. So I applied some pressure and waited. Then I thought I felt a fluttering under my fingers. I excitedly told Mr. CB (who hadn't long before gotten home from working 3rd shift) so he rolled over and tried for himself. And he got to feel it too! Just a little rolling movement under the fingers. It seems God and this baby are continually letting me know that everything is/will be okay.

This past week has been a little hard emotionally at work. Thursday marks the EDD for my second baby. It's hard to listen to the girls at work (especially the BF who's baby is about 4 months old now) talking about their kids. Sometimes I can't help thinking "it should be me talking about getting up at all hours...nursing a sick baby...whining about sore breasts because I need to pump...showing off pictures...bragging about baby's first giggle...needing to buy bigger baby clothes." God knows I'm happy about this miracle that I've been blessed with. But I can't help to still be sad about the two I haven't been able to meet...and won't until I go to Heaven. I don't like the pain. But I refuse to ever really let it go. When I pray, I ask the Lord to share my love with my babies and to let them know that I will never forget them and can wait to meet them.

I will close for now (sorry about the sad closing). I'll try to do better with my blogging.

Slowly but surely...

Today, I am officially 4w3d. Still so early in the life of my Baby, who is currently growing inside me.

In 2 days, we will be crossing a major bridge in pregnancy (for me, anyway). It was at 4w5d that I MC our last, just a year ago... I am remaining cautiously optimistic, believing that this time, we'll definitely have a little sticker.

Symptoms lately have been some cramping here and there, but nothing (despite having a long day yesterday working on the house with our move), and of course super swollen breasts. By last night, they were KILLING me. Hopefully, this is a good sign.

I took my last EPT yesterday, and it looked good. Darker than the last.
I am going to start prenatals today, and will also be purchasing some HPT (probably FRER, since I am liking those better than EPT). I will keep POAS every few days until my first appointment to make sure things are ok.

I also need to do some major grocery shopping so that I can really concentrate on the pregnancy super foods I've read about. Some of them actually sound really good right now (and it's 8:30AM here).

Before I wrap things up, I wanted to share something with you all... I'm sure many of you have heard of the new crazy "Pinterest". If you haven't, you definitely must! Well, I found something adorable on there, that I simply must share... And it's so true :)




Please keep praying for us, and sending sticky baby vibes our way... We would love to welcome this baby home in October :)



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No News Is.......Well......No News

I feel as if I havn't blogged in a while so here I am. Nothing too much to report though. I did get my appointment set up with the endocrinologist. They sent me my paper work and set up an appointment for April. Wait.....April? Yeah, pretty stinking ridiculous. I ended up calling them couple days later so I could be added to a cancellation list. It worked because I got a phone call yesterday saying they could see me this upcoming Tuesday. I'm sooooooo excited! I feel like this might actually give me some of the answers I've been looking for for so long. This journey began in September 2010 and it feels like 10 years ago. After 3 miscarriages, 1 ectopic pregnancy, and now infertility, I am so ready finally get my baby.

I know this might sound crazy, but I am praying for a PCOS diagnosis. I have almost ALL of the symptoms so I hope the blood work I get will show my hormones just aren't right. My testosterone was high about a month ago so I hope it hasn't gone back done, otherwise I'm afraid they wont give me any med's.

I got a positive OPK tonight. I figure we will do the BD for the next 3 days just in case. I hasn't worked the past 4 months so it's a long shot that it would work this month. I havn't started using my CBEFM yet. I wanna wait until my hormones are perfect before I use those expensive test strips!
Here is my current chart. I have FF so confused. Check out how many fertile days it has me set at! My cycles are so jacked right now!

Well, that is all for now. I will post again this week after I see my Endo. Cross your fingers for me! Oh, and a HUGE shout-out to Diva Bud for her AMAZING news! Congrats girl.....you deserve it!

A few good signs...

I've been walking on air the past few days... I can hardly believe my wish and prayers came true! Even though I still have a bit of worry at the back of my mind, I am staying super positive, and enjoying the symptoms (which is strange, since they haven't been too great). But, more about that in a moment.

For starters, my HPTs have gotten progressively darker, which is great... Take a look:

11DPO @ 9pm




12DPO - FMU




14 DPO - FMU




I have one EPT left, which I am saving for early next week, but I am pretty sure this is happening.

I was looking into a new OB, since my most recent experiences with the one I had were not good, and found one 3 blocks away from my house! They seem great, and I plan on calling this afternoon and setting my first appointment. I am hoping they can bring me in soon, at least to do a blood test and confirm.

About my symptoms? They sort of come and go... I've had a bit of nausea and slightly sore breasts, but yesterday I got a major headache. I ate dinner, and then felt super nauseous, so I took a shower and went to bed - at 8:30PM!!! Yeah, I was exhausted. Oh, and today, my sense of smell seems a bit sensitive.

Let's hope this is all a good sign. :)




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24 Weeks

This week are baby is officially viable! It is hard to believe that my friends 3 year old twins were born at 24 weeks. I am happy to say that they are perfectly healthy and both thriving! They are both little miracles!

We met with our donors last weekend. At 24 weeks is also the when our donor mom went into labor with her twins. She went on strict bed rest and was on her back for 12 weeks until they were born. I cannot imagine 3 months of not getting out of bed.

So, as you can see, we finally met our donors! This is something we have been looking forward to, and anticipating since we were matched. Our donors are wonderful, and it was so nice to finally be able to meet them. They even brought their 3 year old boy/girl twins, which I wasn't expecting. It was really cool to get a glimpse at what our daughter could look like.
I was touched to hear how much work and effort they put into just being accepted as donors by the National Embryo Donation Center. There was a lot of testing and paperwork that they had to go through in order to donate their embryos.

I also really felt for the mom, who this was clearly a difficult decision for. I could see that along with her happiness that their embryo will be able to have a life, there was also sadness that they weren't able to have her themselves. It makes me sad to see her pain. Thinking of being in their shoes, I honestly don't know if it is something I could do myself. I am so grateful for what they have done for us.

At 24 weeks our babies face is basically complete, and looking much like she will look when she is born. I am still feeling great with pretty much no pregnancy symptoms. I still have a cold, but am starting to feel a bit better. It is good because I have not been sleeping well with being so congested. I have my yoga class each week, which I look forward to. I am 153 lbs now. That is... 18 lbs over my pre pregnancy weight. Yikes. The pounds are adding up fast these days.

Baby girl is moving around tons these days. I am looking more into names lately. I think we do want an Indian name after all (did I mention our donors are East Indian?), so I am looking more at Sanskrit/Hindu names and trying to find one that I like that will be easy to pronounce and spell for Americans. I don't really know any Indian names right now, I am going to have to look at them one by one on the name website I have and see what stands out. Are there any Indian girl names that you know that you like?

24 Weeks

Soon....

We're still waiting for AF to arrive so that we can begin our FET. According to my calendar, she should be arriving this weekend. I've been really crampy ALL week, so I think she'll be here soon. I've never been more excited for a period to come!

On a sad note, my grandpa passed away this afternoon. He was a wonderful man, and he will be greatly missed. I know he's holding our little baby in his arms right now. Thank you all for your prayers.



Bossy Bud

A Valentine's Surprise <3

Hello everyone :) I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day, celebrating Love and Friendship!

I had the honor or surprising Mr. DBud with the news of my BFP. Here's how that went down.

When Mr. DBud got home, we exchanged gifts. I got him a few XBOX accessories, and he got me a couple of Pandora charms for my bracelet. We hung out around the house until it was time to get ready for our Valentine's Date. When we got in the car, I told him I had another gift for him. I asked him to close his eyes, and hold out his hands. I turned on a light inside the car, and placed a square jewelry box in his hands. Then, I told him to open his eyes. When he did, he looked at the box, and at me, puzzled. He said, "what is this?", and I merely answered, "open it!". He did, and this is what he found...




At first he was confused. He looked at me, and I was just smiling at him. He looked back at the box and then back at me, and asked, "are you pregnant?", to which I replied, "yes. I am pregnant!". He was shocked and extremely happy. He leaned over and kissed me, and the rest is history.

We are so incredibly excited to expect our little October bundle. Of course, I am still deathly afraid of history repeating itself... But I am staying positive and thinking happy thoughts. Please, little baby, stay sticky for Mommy and Daddy. We already love you so much. <3




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The proof is in the Pudding

3 +s by 12DPO can't lie! I hope this is is, and we have a little sticker...




Now, I have to think of how I'm going to surprise Mr. DBud tonight. We have plans to go out for Valentine's, so I was thinking of something cute I can do for him.,, any suggestions???

So excited :)




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BFP?!

As per FF, I am 11DPO. I went and bought some HPTs to use tomorrow. Couldn't resist, and had to go real bad, so used one at 9pm when I got home...

2nd line or my imagination?! PLEASE discuss!!!!!

Thank god I have 4 more tests (FRER and E.P.T.)!!!!!







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A year ago...

I can't believe it... Today marks exactly one year since I got my official BFP (on a CBED), only to miscarry 4 days later, on Valentine's. Since I don't want to commemorate something depressing on a day used to celebrate love, I thought I would stay positive, and remember the "good" which occurred a year ago, today.

Getting my official BFP was such an awesome feeling! I hope that I can relive that feeling again... In the meantime, here is a little something for those Angel Babies we have lost...

"I didn't get to feel you kick, or look into your eyes. I didn't hold you in my arms, or hear your little cry. I didn't get to see your smile, or even know your name. But, you'll always be my baby and I love you just the same."
-Summer Herbst

Here's hoping our luck changes. All of us :)




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23 Weeks

I got a cold this week and have been feeling under the weather the past couple of days. I really hope the kids don't get it. They got their flu shots, so maybe that is why they have stayed well while Mr. Lucky Bud and I have gotten sick.

We are set up again to meet our embryo donors this Saturday since last time our plans got canceled due to the snow. I am excited and nervous at the same time to meet them. I hope they like us alright.

I gained 2 lbs this week. I now weigh 14 lbs over my pre pregnancy weight. I feel good except for my cold. I noticed a light linea nigra for the first time this week. The baby is moving around as much as ever. Sometimes I can feel her from the outside with my hand, as well as from the inside. The other day as I was getting into bed I got a REALLY sharp kick in the side. It kind of surprised me since that is the first really big movement I have felt so far.

As far as baby development, she should be just over 1 lb now. She should double in weight in the next four weeks which is pretty cool.

23 Weeks 

2WW madness!!

I HATE this part... The dreaded 2WW. With everything I have going, and with how busy I am, I still can't take my mind off of it. Especially when I enter my morning temp into FF and see a spike! I know it's too early at 7DPO, but I POAS for the heck of it. BFN, of course. I just hope that's not all I will see throughout the remainder of this cycle... Crossing my fingers for a BFP this month!!! :) :) :)



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CD2 & A Chance of PCOS

Well, no BFP this month. AF arrived yesterday 1 day early. I knew it wasn't gonna happen. Something just didn't see right. I've had that feeling the past 4-5 months actually. My face has been sooooooo broken out. And now its so scarred up I have to wear 3lbs of makeup. I'm totally overweight although I did loose 20lbs last summer. (I'm currently 5'3 and 175)

My cycles have varied so much recently in regards to the length. So after reading a lot on our blog and my google OCD, I found that I have almost all of the symptoms of PCOS. So, I went to my family doc for my routine physical and had her check my testosterone and free testosterone. My free testosterone came back at 4.7 (norm is 0.2-5.0pg/mL) and my Total Testosterone came back at 50 H (norm2-45 ng/dl).

So that shows my testosterone is too high, just as I suspected. So today I had an appointment with my regular OB who agreed that I have most of the symptoms (some I didn't care to list on here). She referred me to an endocrinologist. It could be 2 months before I can get to meet with them :( But this does give me some hope. We spoke of the Metaformin (spelling?) and my hopes are that they will put me on this. Other option would be BCP, which I obviously do not want.

I just pray that this gets squared away soon. I'm 28 years old and acne should be the last of my worries. But it has led me to the answers I have been questioning since I got off BCP 3 years ago.

To my fellow buds......was it hard to get a diagnosis for PCOS? How do you like the metaformin? Does it control your symptoms??

Crosshairs! And 5DPO :)

Here we have it... An official set of crosshairs!


I am currently 5DPO :) FF seems to have my crosshairs on my 1st peak day, even though I thought they would pinpoint ovulation on CD23 (based on my temp drop and rise).

Now, we wait. I have a digital, or two, and I am waiting until at least Valentine's Day (12DPO) before I POAS. Hopefully it'll be some good news.

As of today, I feel like crap. I tossed and turned a lot last night, and woke up a bit dizzy :( I don't want to be calling in sick to work, so I bit the bullet and came in. Thankfully, Tuesdays are not too bad, and hopefully it'll go by relatively fast.

One thing is for sure... I can't wait to POAS! I hope I get my BFP :) hopefully I can fall in that group of 17, who got their BFP the 1st month using the CBEFM.



(Photo credit; Baby Center Community Poll)




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Foreshadowing

In my opinion, it can't be any more obvious or predictable. I definitely must have Oed this weekend! See for yourself:


Yesterday, my temp plummeted, and today it rose up higher than it's been all cycle. I foresee a biphasic pattern in my near future... Which is in about two days.

I just hope that we timed the BD sessions well. We didn't BD Friday night (our 2nd day of "peak" readings) cause Mr. DBud was tired. It should be ok, though, cause we BDed the last "high" day before seeing the first "peak", and again yesterday when the monitor returned to "high" (today it also went down to "low" as suspected). I also had a bit of cramping on the peak days, and am wondering if it was possibly mittelschmertz. I hope so :)

I am excited to see what happens with this cycle, especially since I FINALLY got my results from my US a couple of days ago (yeah, the US I had in December before Christmas). I found out that the US came back "normal", so I'm good in that department. I replied to the e-mail asking for them to send me my results for the blood test as well, so I can have them, but she said she couldn't, so she would have a copy for me at the office. When I go pick up the results, it'll probably be the last time I set foot in that office. Two months for an US result is unacceptable! On top of all the other things I've mentioned before. If I do get KU this cycle **fingers crossed** I will be checking out the practice my friend visits. If I don't, we'll be seeking a little extra help with figuring out what's wrong.

If everything continues to go smoothly, I am planning on testing on Valentine's Day. It will mark a year since we said goodbye after our first BFP, and it would be great to say hello to another. All positive vibes and baby dust are welcome and appreciated. :)




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22 Weeks

I am 22 weeks pregnant now. This week our baby is almost 1 lb and 11inches according to babycenter.com, but different websites say different things for each week. I can feel her moving a lot these days, and the moment is stronger. I received the Doppler that I ordered. It is fun to be able to listen to her heartbeat and is a great reassurance.

I gained another pound this week which puts me at 12 lbs over my pre pregnacy weight. I am still feeling great overall. I do have some pain from my round ligament sometimes, but it is fine if I take it easy when it is hurting. I started a prenatal yoga class last week and am planning on taking it once a week until the end of my pregnancy.

We bought an '04 Toyota Sienna on ebay last weekend and Mr. Lucky Bud drove to Ohio to pick it up. We always have driven beaters, so this is the nicest car we have ever had and we are really excited.

22 Weeks

In God's Time

I heard this song today and it reminded me so much of this journey we are/have all been on. If you are not a fan of country music than you might not like this. But I am a HUGE fan of country music and Randy Houser so I have fallen in love with this song. It makes me cry......A LOT :(

Just as I suspected...

Ladies (and Gentlemen) we have reached the "PEAK"!!!!!




I KNEW it! CD21 (20 on the CBEFM) and finally seeing peak fertility.

Also, the dotted crosshairs are gone... Leaving me a totally crazy chart, which doesn't really bother me. It is what it is!




Now, we just have to continue BDing until the monitor goes back to showing a "low" reading, which is what is recommended.

I'm getting excited. I HOPE this is IT!!! :)




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The Hormones Continue

I am still feeling great and energetic which is wonderful. I am back on BCP's which I don't like because it is just one more pill to pop. funny how I have to take preventive measures to not get pregnant when we are unable to get pregnant, just in case. Oh the oxymorons of infertility!!! It would be a miracle if we did but if it was a female fetus it would be masculinized due to the high levels of testosterone that I am on. I would hate to do that to my miracle baby!!
AF arrived, with a little help from our friend Progesterone, and I definitely felt more hormonal swings. I think always being so low on hormones I never felt the hormonal swings that women feel during their cycles. It was an interesting cycle to say the least but I will take a few mood swings, bloating, yucky feeling during AF to the energy I feel every other day!!

On other news my third niece is being born today, my SIL is going in to be induced and hopefully all will go great. I have been knitting up a storm, I made three pairs of booties and a sweater for her arrival. Hopefully they will all fit at some point in her baby stages.

12 weeks and counting...

Well girls, I've hit the 12 week mark! YAY! It's so hard to believe...surreal, but wonderful. I'm starting to get a little excited now.

I had my ultrasound and 1st trimester screening on Monday and everything looks good. Skittle was just hanging out and wasn't really moving much when all of a sudden it was wiggling all over the place! The tech was chasing it with the wand. It was awesome to watch and weird because of course I can't feel anything. She got some pretty cool pictures but couldn't get any of the 4D (?) ones because Skittle was being so stubborn and not staying put. Not that I mind any. Oh, and I got the results of the 1st trimester screening today and it was negative for Down's...not that that would have been an issue. My BP was 118/70, FHB was 158 and my weight was up 2 pounds from my 8 week ultrasound. My OB said that I can stop the progesterone as well which made me nearly as happy as the rest of it. *wink*

My next appointment is for the 28th for just a regular checkup. I'm still going to be finding the FHB often just for my peach of mind and shear enjoyment.

To Diva, Bossy and Buckeye: I pray for each of you in all of my prayers. Good luck to you!

PS ~ Sorry this picture is flipped...I couldn't get the darn thing to rotate!

Grandpa's Girl

No baby-making news to report. Still waiting for AF to arrive one more time. Then it's a "go" for our FET. We can't wait.

I'm going to get a little off topic on this post and discuss my grandpa. He turned 81 last July, and he's the only grandpa I've ever had. When I was a child, he always seemed so "no nonsense" and a little scary. My parents would take my younger brother and I to our grandparents' house for one week during the summer since my grandpa was retired. Grandma still worked, and she would get up every morning to get herself ready. I would wake up and go into the bathroom where she was, and I would always beg her to not go to work. I didn't want to stay at the house with grandpa. Grandpa was mean.

Of course, he really wasn't "mean". He would take my brother and me to swim in the lake, bowling, to McDonalds for lunch, and even to the children's museum. He was just an older man. He had raised his children and was more strict than my parents. I loved him, but I was also a little scared of him.

As I grew up, I developed a stronger relationship with my grandpa. I'm not his only grand-daughter, but I am the only one that lives close by. I became his "monkey" and he would always tease me about misbehaving (I promise, I was a perfect child). I was born with naturally curly hair, and it looks pretty wild at times (due to the humidity in FL). He would laugh and say that he could mop the floor with my head. He became more affectionate as I grew up; always hugging me and kissing me on the cheek when we would say our goodbyes. I became a grandpa's girl.

Sadly, my grandpa's health is declining. He was diagnosed with throat cancer a couple of years ago and has been treated for it. He's lost a lot of weight, and he's become very ornery. It breaks my heart to see him this way. He's not my same grandpa anymore. Two weeks ago, he was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. He had to have a tube put in his lung to the drain the fluid, and he was released to a nursing home soon after. The plan was for him to receive rehab while he was in the home, and then return to his home with my grandma where she would continue to care for him. He lasted 2 days in the nursing home and had to return to the hospital due to a fever. We're waiting to see how he does.

I remember sitting on my grandpa's couch 3 years ago with Mr. Bossy and telling my grandparents that we were ready to start a family. When our first round of IVF worked, my grandma shared the good news with him, but he didn't completely understand. His mind is beginning to slip. I'm beginning to realize that my grandpa might not be alive for the birth of my children. Knowing that they will miss meeting such a great man is devastating to me.
If you pray, please pray for my grandpa.

XOXO,



Bossy