Seriously?!?!

Guys, I am SO sorry that it's been 3 weeks since my last post! It's super hard to believe. Life has been quite hectic lately...my brother left for Coast Guard boot camp, my dad's cancer has gotten worse, work has been really busy with sinus infections and bronchitis and we're changing to a new electronic medical records system at work and I have to stay after work a lot for classes. Plus, I got sick with a bad head cold a couple of weeks ago and then hurt my back last week. Whew! Ready for things to calm down a little.

Okay, first thing's first. ALRIGHT DIVA!!! Whoop whoop! Go 'head girl! That is FANTASTIC!!! I knew it was coming...I felt it in my bones. And I love the way you told Mr. DBud. Don't worry about a thing babe, ya'll got this!

I will be 15 weeks on Wednesday...so Skittle will be 13 weeks old. The crown to rump length for this week of pregnancy is 4-4.5 inches. Baby continues to grow rapidly. Skittle has thin skin and at this point you can see blood vessels through the skin. The lanugo hair covers the baby's body. It may be sucking it's thumb and its eyes are at the front of the face but still widely separated.

My symptoms have pretty much disappeared but I still get some nausea occasionally. The fatigue is pretty prevalent (cleaning the house is a major undertaking). I still get some cramping occasionally but I attribute it to "growing pains." I got a pair of maternity jeans and shirts a few weeks ago and am so much more comfortable. I have to wear a belly band at work (mostly for my back, though I do notice some abdominal cramping when I don't wear it) and my scrub tops and pants are getting pretty snug. My face still breaks out (something I've never been lucky enough to not have to worry about) but worse at the 4 week increments. I have more of a belly now, though mine still isn't as cute as Lucky's. I've gained about 9 pounds so far...something I intend to keep a closer eye on.

I listen to Skittle's heart beat about every other night before bed. I'd listen to it all night if I could. It's staying between 155 and 160. Mr. CB and I think we got to feel baby move the other weekend. It was Sunday morning and I had to pee (big surprise, right?) so my uterus was pushed up. I decided to try and see. So I applied some pressure and waited. Then I thought I felt a fluttering under my fingers. I excitedly told Mr. CB (who hadn't long before gotten home from working 3rd shift) so he rolled over and tried for himself. And he got to feel it too! Just a little rolling movement under the fingers. It seems God and this baby are continually letting me know that everything is/will be okay.

This past week has been a little hard emotionally at work. Thursday marks the EDD for my second baby. It's hard to listen to the girls at work (especially the BF who's baby is about 4 months old now) talking about their kids. Sometimes I can't help thinking "it should be me talking about getting up at all hours...nursing a sick baby...whining about sore breasts because I need to pump...showing off pictures...bragging about baby's first giggle...needing to buy bigger baby clothes." God knows I'm happy about this miracle that I've been blessed with. But I can't help to still be sad about the two I haven't been able to meet...and won't until I go to Heaven. I don't like the pain. But I refuse to ever really let it go. When I pray, I ask the Lord to share my love with my babies and to let them know that I will never forget them and can wait to meet them.

I will close for now (sorry about the sad closing). I'll try to do better with my blogging.