CD26

Hey ladies, nothing new to report with me. I'm currently in my 2 week wait. Day 6 to be exact. We only did the BD the day before ovulation occurred. Don't ask me why......We actually haven't even done the baby dance too much this month anyways. Just one of those months I suppose. Expectations are still 50/50 for the cycle. As always....
Here's my chart.

I finally got my CBE Fertility Monitor in the mail. I'm excited to start using it. But the directions seem really complicated.....sigh.

In the meantime, my mind is staying occupied with our laundry room renovation. New paint, new cabinets, and new ceramic tile. Woot Woot! I just hope we get done ASAP.....everything that was in that room is now in my kitchen (including deep freezer and washer & dryer.)

I went to my family doctor last week for my yearly physical. I had her test my free testosterone and a few other things. I hear that can be related to acne. Which by the way has been absolutely terrible the past 3-4 months. I have no idea why.....it just keeps getting worse and worse. I have even resorted to using Oxy 10, which is 10% Benzoyl Peroxide. It doesn't even phase it. Just dries my skin out super super bad. I never even had this problem in H.S., so WTH?!! I should hear back from her within a couple of days.

Anywho, hope everyone is doing as well as expected. I know personally, I'm so tired of being without baby. Let me re-phrase that, I'm sad. To the core, completely, totally, absolutely, ridiculously sad. Will things ever change :(

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20 Week Ultrasound Picture

Dotted crosshairs?

Today is CD15, and I have already seen dotted crosshairs twice this cycle, due to my temps.



Actually, since I enter my temp first and then enter CMEFM result after, it goes from being solid crosshairs to dotted crosshairs. In case you don't know, dotted crosshairs mean that FF has conflicting data for the cycle, and is not sure about whether you are Oing or not. Personally, I do not think that O had happened yet - even though BD was timed perfectly, and that would've been awesome. :) it's also kind of weird, considering my visit to Our Lady of Milk on Tuesday, and my experience there.

Thankfully, I am using both a BBT and a CBEFM to track my Fertility, because I have a feeling that in my last cycle, we missed O because of a false crosshair. Thanks to my PCOS, the OPK wasn't able to accurately detect my O because of a constantly high LH level. CBEFM measures both LH and Estrogen, so it might be better. As you can see, I haven't had any "high" days yet... Which seems about right, since I usually O pretty late due to my long cycles.

Since we've been dealing with some pretty major home renovations and such, we decided to wait at least one more cycle (this cycle) before calling upon the IF Clinic. I figured that with everything getting pushed around and all the stuff we still have to do, it would be hard to juggle all the appointments and such. If this cycle is not successful, though, we will go see them towards the middle/end of February.

Either way... I feel like 2012 will be the year! I can just feel it :)




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21 Weeks

Not too much is new this week. I didn't have any bad pregnancy symptoms and feel great. I can feel the baby moving a lot at night usually. I gained another pound this week which puts me at 11 lbs over my pre pregnancy weight. I worked really hard to eat more this week since not eating enough for a couple of days the last week left me sick for the rest of that week.


Mr. Lucky Bud bought me a Doppler Fetal Monitor online today, so I should have it in a few days. It will be comforting to be able to hear our baby when ever we want to instead of waiting for my appointments with my midwife.


 Our donors canceled our meeting last weekend due to snow, and we have rescheduled for Feb. 11th.

21 Weeks

11 weeks...

Ok so not much to report. I've listened to Skittle's heart beat a few more times since my last past. Happily it's been staying 168-172. It just makes my heart sing everytime I hear it and makes me all the more anxious to meet this little person.

The constipation has improved greatly. I've begun taking my magnesium, stool softeners and prenatal vitamin in the morning with breakfast so taking them on a daily basis has helped. I'm not eating the prunes like I should because I think they get nastier every time I have to eat them. Yuck!

I stepped on the scale this morning and I up a total of 5 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight. A shame compared to Lucky's 20lbs at 20 weeks. =o/ Oh well. I'm not going crazy with my eating but am eating more frequently. Still mostly carbs, which I'm sure is where the weight gain has come from but I don't do well with heavy foods so I stick to things like Cheeze-Its, Goldfish, crackers, etc.

A lot of my girls say that I'm showing already and although my scrub pants are getting uncomfortable I can't really tell an obvious difference. My belly looks bigger and "rounder" so to speak but just not like the other bumps I've seen. I plan on getting a couple pairs of bigger scrubs in the very near future though and maybe some tops. My jeans are fine (I've been using a hairbow to keep them fastened; the belly band doesn't work well for me).

The nausea has calmed down quite a bit even since my last post. The headaches still get me down sometimes though. And my energy level has lagged dramatically. I mean cleaning the house? Puh-leaze! Thank goodness for a kind and supportive husband who has been a HUGE helped with laundry, dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, etc. Thanks Mr. CB! =o) I've also discovered that my new bedtime according to my body is around 8:30-9pm. Too bad I can't listen to it. Mr. CB works 3rd shift and I wake him up and get him ready for work. Plus that's an extra 15-20 minutes a day that I can spend with him (we only get to see each other for about an hour everyday due to work schedules).

Okie dokie, looking at the computer is bothering my head so I'm going to sign off for now.

A Religious Experience

I want to start this post by saying that this post reflects my personal beliefs, and I am in no way attempting to force my religious beliefs on anyone. I totally and completely respect other religions and the choice to practice what we believe. :)

With that said, today, I had an experience. Mr. DBud and I were in St. Augustine, Florida celebrating our Wedding Anniversary. It's an awesomely quaint city, jam-packed with History and charm, so we figured it would be nice to visit, and spend a couple of days taking in the sites, and doing a little relaxing. We had been to the city before, but it had been a while, so we decided to head that way and see a few different things we hadn't seen before (such as the San Sebastian Winery where they offer a FREE wine tasting - very nice). All in all, the trip was great :)

In a previous post (don't remember exactly which - it's been a while), I mentioned a location in St. Augustine known as the Sacred Shine of Nuestra Señora de la Leche (Our Lady of Milk) dedicated to Mothers, women wishing to become mothers, and women seeking a smooth labor. I had been to this site before, and always thought it was peaceful and beautiful - but, obviously, I wasn't interested in any of the things it stood for (not at that point in my life). Well, being that we haven't had a lot of "luck" in that department, I was pretty adamant about visiting the shrine, and praying to the Virgin. I have always been a spiritual/religious person, growing up in the Catholic faith, and I believe in everything it stands for, so I figured it was important for us to visit the Chapel.



Photo credit: Me :) Taken with the iPhone Hipstamatic App

Mr. DBud and I quietly walked in, and had a seat on one of the benches in the tiny chapel, but not before picking up a free rosary (sometimes, they are donated and are left out for visitors). I whipped out my iPhone and pulled up the following Prayer, which I meditated with...



Photo credit, and more info: http://www.missionandshrine.org/la_leche.htm

Then, we just sat quietly, and I just prayed... I prayed that God would grant me the blessing of being a Mother, and that I could know what it's like to have a child of my own. I vowed to bring the child to the location, and raise the child to walk in his footsteps, as I did. As I prayed, the bells on the grounds started to play... And I felt all this emotion grow inside me. I couldn't help it... I started to cry. Mr. DBud had his arm around me, and he kissed my forehead. When he noticed I was weeping, he hugged me tighter, and just sat with me. After a few minutes, I whispered, "Let's go" and we exited the Chapel. When we got out, I carefully wiped my tears as I wept some more. I had all this emotion stirring inside me, and I honestly could not control it. We walked a little in silence, until I calmed down a bit, and we started talking about all the little squirrels that roamed the grounds. We didn't have to utter a word about what happened... He knew how I felt. After walking a bit, we visited the gift shop where I purchased a Prayer card with a prayer for those wishing to become mothers, as well as a rosary bracelet which I put on in the car.

Now, I guess we'll see. I have continued temping and using my CBEFM, even while on vacation, and haven't had anything major show up... But so far, so good, I guess. Just lots of ups and downs. I just hope I can see an O this month... For now, this is what my current chart looks like:



One thing is for sure... I am very lucky to have Mr. DBud... He's my Wonderwall.

Continuing to stay positive :)




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Up and down...

Well, I'm currently on CD11 (10 as far as my CBEFM is concerned), and my temps are rising and dropping like crazy! I know it's too early in the cycle and that later on when we look at the big picture things will make more sense... But it's just weird, you know?

Anyway, here's a screen shot of my chart as it currently stands:

In the past, O has happened around CD 18, so we have a few days to go. I am curious to see what the CBEFM says... This is my first time using it, but hopefully it'll be able to help me :) Maybe this will be the month. Ironically, last year around this exact week was when I got KU, so it would be weird if it happened again in the same exact month (last time, it happened our Anniversary weekend, which is now, so it may happen a week later this time). We'll see what happens!!! Staying positive :)




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CD18......Really?!

Well my oh my, guess whose little egg should be dropping in the next 24-48 hours? Mine! Mine! Good grief! This cycle has just been ridiculous! All kinds of thoughts/fears have been running through my head.

I usually ovulate between CD12-CD14. Here I am CD18 and I FINALLY get a positive OPK. I have been testing 3X a day since CD9. Good thing I buy my OPK's off Ebay super cheap. Like I've said the past few posts, I'm thinking the leaking sewer gases I was exposed to could of been the reason for out-of-the-ordinary cycle. That or work stress has finally caught up with me.
I've read online that ovulating too late in your cycle can cause a reduced chance of conceiving because your eggs might not be in sync with the lining of your uterus or the eggs could be old, or yada yada yada. Either way, I won't have too high of expectations by the time the end of this cycle rolls around. It's just not been a good month.

Anyways, I'm SOOOOO excited to share that Mr.Buckeye Bud bought be a ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor. For those who dont know what it does..............
It measures your estrogen (which rises prior to ovulation) and it measures your LH. Because I'm such a tight wod with money, I did a lot of research to find it at the cheapest place. Which was Wal-Mart's website. $180 got us the monitor and a pack of 30 strips.

Does anyone have one? And if so, how do you like it thus far? Has anyone conceived using this technology?

Back on track!

Aunt Flo arrived this morning!

I started experiencing some cramping yesterday. I didn't want to get too excited since my body is notorious for playing tricks. However when the cramping continued, I knew AF was about to make her grand appearance. I was SO excited when I saw a small amount of red on the toilet paper late yesterday afternoon. I was never able to miscarry on my own, and it was beginning to look like I would need Provera to help me get my first period after the d & c. It is such a relief knowing my body is getting back to normal.

And to think- I was prepared to have bloodwork done tomorrow in order to have my RE prescribe me Provera so that we could move on toward the FET. It just proves that I need to be more patient. Everything is in His hands. I'm going to stop doubting that everything will work out. He is in control.

Mr. Bossy and I are one step closer. I can feel it in my bones!!

Bossy Bud

Hormones Are Great

Credit

I can't say enough about how great I am feeling the past two days. The first day after getting the pellets in I felt super weird, my equilibrium felt off and was a bit nauseous. Thursday morning, I woke up before my alarm at 6:00 am and was ready to go for the day. I didn't have the usual tiredness starting around 2 in the afternoon and wasn't starving during that time either. Last night I was actually alert and not fighting falling asleep by 10 pm while hanging out with some friends, usually I am nodding off while people are talking to me!! With going to bed around midnight I was still awake and energized getting up at 6:00 am again. I packed Mr. Explorer Bud and I's suitcase for our little weekend trip down to visit his Grandpa, got ready for the day, actually remembered to bring stuff to work and was off to work on time. Maybe it is the placebo effect but I am loving it either way.

20 Weeks

Yesterday we had our 20 week ultrasound. Mr Lucky Bud came with me and we dropped off the kids at his sisters house. I was pretty anxious, nervous and excited to be able to have the ultrasound. It was a bummer that the technician would not turn the screen until all of her measurements were done. I had to wait for about a half hour of Mr Lucky Bud saying, "oh, that is so awesome!" before I got to see what was going on too. She was moving around like crazy. I could even see her mouth opening and closing, and it looked like she was swallowing. The technical said that it looks like our baby is 11 ounces. We should get the results of the ultrasound tomorrow, so hopefully there will be nothing to report.

I can't believe I am halfway through my pregnancy all ready! Before 20 weeks, the baby is measured from head to rump, but after 20 weeks it is head to heel..so at 20 weeks it is 10 inches long, head to heel. I was holding up a ruler to show Mr. Lucky Bud today, and I can't believe how big she is!

 I had been doing great week 19 symptom wise, but was also very careful that week about eating enough and getting lots of protein. I got kind of caught up with some projects early on in the week and did not take as much care and did not get enough protein, and I went back to feeling awful. I have been working hard to focus again on my diet, but it is still taking some time to feel good again. I am showing a little more than I was a couple weeks ago, and have gained more weight, so I am a total of 10 lbs over what I normally am and that is great!

 I can feel the baby moving all the time now. Especially because during the ultrasound I was able to see when she was moving and to associate it to how it felt, so now I can tell the difference a lot better between kicks and my stomach growling, or air bubbles. She moves so much now, but it is not uncomfortable because there is plenty of space in their. If she keeps up all the action though, it is going to be hard to sleep at night as she gets bigger and there is less space!

Over all, this is a very fun and exciting time. I am feeling pretty good, I am not big and uncomfortable yet, I have had the great reassurance of getting to see my baby on the ultrasound, we know that it is a girl, we are meeting the donors this weekend, so things are great right now!

...still hoping to have an ultrasound pic up soon. I need to have it scanned at Mr Lucky Buds work.

20 Weeks

BTW, Just an interesting fact: My mom did not realize that she was pregnant with her 6th and final child until she was 20 weeks and could feel that baby moving. That is crazy! She is lucky though. It must have been a fast pregnancy!

CD14

Well, here I am on CD14 and I have yet to get a positive OPK. All cycles prior to this over the past year I would have gotten a positive by now. My suspicions are that the leaking sewer gas we discovered in our house might have something to do with it. You can see on CD7 how elevated my temperature was. That was the day I felt the worst effects. Severe headache, dizziness, and fatigue.

My temps finally went back down after it was fixed and I am feeling so much better. I really hope I Ovulate soon. I did have a bit of Creamy CM on CD12 which usually comes before I O. But I have no evidence it happened or that it will happen in the next 48 hours :(

My bad...

Buds I am SO sorry I haven't posted in a while! I really have no excuse...

Here's what's been going on lately:

I'm still nauseated most evenings/nights. It has improved greatly in the past few weeks but it still hits me pretty hard sometimes (right now I have a pretty horrendous headache). The only thing worse than the nausea thus far is the constipation. It's always been an issue for me (sorry for the TMI) but with the progesterone it has worsened considerably. I've been drinking apple juice, prune juice, eating prunes daily and taking stool softeners and magnesium EVERYDAY and I'm lucky to "go" every 4-7days. As you all know, there really isn't anything that can be done for this so I'm just trying to eat right and drink lots of water. I got my fetal doppler a couple days ago! Of course, I wasn't expecting to hear anything since I'm so early but I took it to my mom's house last night and she found it! 175 and going strong! ~And at just under 10weeks at that! It was fantastic and I plan to try to find it every single day so that I can hear it. =o) I moved up my next ultrasound because my brother leaves for bootcamp at the end of this month > it's now Jan 30th. So I will definitely be posting a pic of that. Umm...I'm still not showing, which is okay. I'm not skinny by any means but I have lost a considerable amount of weight in the past few years or so (65lbs) so I know the loose skin will keep me from showing like my skinny friends. But I don't care. Give me a healthy baby and I'm happy.

Alright Buds, I'm off for now but I promise to do better at my posting! Much love...

Pellets Are In

Yesterday I went to the Dr. to get the bio-identical hormone pellets put in my side. I had my mom come with since Mr. Explorer Bud was in class, so that way I would have someone to remind me what the Dr. said. I really enjoy the nurses there, they are all so nice and say the right things instead of stupid things. I met with the Dr. first and he went over what he was going to do, how to care for the incision while it is healing, the symptoms that I will see relief from and answer any questions. Then off we went to an exam room to have him cut open my side. Originally he was going to put the pellets in my hip area but then asked if I would rather have it in my butt and I chose the butt because it is fatter and probably would be less annoying. He numbed me right up and then made about a 2 inch incision and put the two pellets of Testosterone and Estrogen into the incision and closed it up. He also gave me a shot of amino-acids that have shown to help your liver process the fat in your body to aide in weight loss. I have to come in weekly to do the shots so I figure I will give it a month and see if it helps at all. Then he gave me an adjustment that was just what I was needing. Seriously he is a one stop shop there. My bum is a bit sore from putting in the pellets but it will be healed soon and I am hoping to feel like a new woman soon.
This morning I noticed I was able to wake up better and have been more alert throughout the day which has been nice. I did feel a little like my equilibrium was off this morning and a little nausea this afternoon before I ate lunch. I am hoping the energy level continues to rise and feeling sick goes away!!

When it rains....

It pours! [Ironically, it's raining in Central Florida this very moment.]

Still no period. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nothing.

Good news- I'll have to take a blood test to rule out a pregnancy in order for my RE to prescribe me Provera. I can have my blood drawn locally and do not have to drive an hour just to give blood! It's looking like I'll be doing this on Monday.

Bad news- I'll have to take Provera for 10 days. It then can take up to 7-10 days after my last pill for my period to arrive. I still have to get one more period after that for my RE to allow to do a FET. So much for starting in February. Bummer.

To help make matters worse. Mr. Bossy is being laid off at the end of the month. His company told him over a year ago that they were phasing out his department. There was a chance he could interview for a different position in a different department. He's since gone on three interviews and hasn't received a job offer. His last day will be the last day of this month.

We have a Plan B. He originally started as a temp with this company. After a few months, he was offered a permanent position. The company is currently going through some budget cuts and would prefer to not have to pay benefits on so many employees. Instead, they'd like to hire more temps. Mr. Bossy is hoping to return to the company as a temp and then squeeze back through the company's doors.

We're scared beyond belief. If he has to be unemployed for a month or two, we'll survive financially (it will be tight, though). I'm torn about doing our FET. Since AF hasn't arrived yet, it's looking like we won't be able to begin until March at the earliest. The FET is already paid for since we went through the Attain Program, but I'm still concerned.

Do we still go through with the FET even if Mr. Bossy doesn't have a permanent position? We're not getting any younger and quite frankly, I'm tired of waiting around. Mr. Bossy wanst to proceed, and my heart is saying the same. My stupid head is the one I'm arguing with.




Bossy Bud

It's a......

GIRL!!! I will try to post an ultrasound picture soon!

Working with a clean slate

With the arrival of AF came a lot of positive things... Mainly, the chance at a new cycle. I have started temping today, and my CBEFM is already on day 4. I should be asked to POAS on Thursday, day 6, and of course, we'll go from there. Here's what my current chart looks like:




No big deal, but maybe (hopefully) it will be :)

I finally got my results from OB. All clear, aside from high LH levels. Time to call an RE and get this baby making show on the road... I've had enough with this stupid PCOS.

Positive vibes to all :)




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Hormone Blood Work In

I finally got a call back about my hormone levels and it looks like I am way low on my total Testosterone (26 ng/dl), Free Testosterone (0.2 pg/mL) and Estradiol (24.7 pg/mL). Being so low in the Testosterone can explain many of my symptoms of being tired, spacey, low sex drive, dry skin, weight gain, etc, etc, etc!! My other hormones seem to be in good order. FSH (5.8 MIU/mL), Prolactin (10.5 ng/mL), TSH (2.01 uIU/mL), T4 (1.09 ng/dL), Triiodothyronine Free (4.0 pg/mL). My Sex Hormone Binding Globulin was high (165.6 nmol/L).

So I will go in and get the pellet inserted in my side Tuesday at 9:45 in the morning!! I am excited to start feeling better. I hope this works in getting me balanced and preparing my body to have a successful IVF in the summer.

Starting fresh

AF finally decided to arrive!! Actually... She just did. I had a feeling she would, when last night I got a tinge of brownish spotting. Now, I can start using my CBEFM and see what happens with this cycle. I have a feeling (seeing how my chart turned out) that we totally missed the O this month. Like, totally. We actually haven't even BD in like 3 weeks or more. We have been busy, tired, sick, etc. but we may have had another shot this month if we would've kept at it. Oh well :-/

It's great that AF showed up now, since Mr. DBud and I are getting ready to celebrate our anniversary, and we'll probably want to get busy during out mini-romantic getaway ;)

I REALLY hope the CBEFM can more accurately pinpoint the O... Honestly, I should've known better. Especially since my temps went up even higher when I started temping again. Maybe the CBEFM will do better than the OPKs. I guess we shall see!!! :)

Feeling optimistic again. 2012 is the year... I can feel it.



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Funny But Not Really

So earlier in the week I posted that I hadn't been feeling to well this week. My temp has been elevated, I've had severe dizziness, terrible headaches, extreme fatigue, and have felt down right lethargic. It has NOT been fun.

For the past couple of months every time I would go to the bathroom I would smell a TERRIBLE smell. I thought it was 1 of 2 things.
1) I close the lid every time I flush so no nasty poo particles don't fly in the air to find my toothbrush. So I thought maybe that is what was causing a strange odor in the toilet bowl. Maybe the funk was just attaching to the lid or whatever and building up causing the disgusting stench.

OR

2) My vajayjay was creating some disturbing odor that needed to be addressed by a trained medical professional.....ASAP. I mean it was FUNKY. Like some nasty girl with rotten cooty funky. I know......sounds digusting. But I promise I shower every single day. I was really starting to get paranoid!

Well, come to find out................our toilet is leaking sewer gasses! Praise the lord my cooty don't stink! Mr. Buckeye Bud and I have been in the process of flipping an old farm house for the past 5 years. We relocated the bathroom but he never completely did everything he needed to do with it. So the toilet hasn't been sealed properly for FIVE YEARS!

Can you believe that? He is fixing it as we speak so I pray these symptoms go away ASAP. Just thought I would share this because I find it incredibly disgusting and dangerous! Oh, also entertaining in the fact that I actually thought that was my body producing that funk!

19 Weeks

It is incredible how fast time is starting to fly by. In the beginning time seemed to move so slow as there were so many small landmarks I was waiting for such as my first beta, second beta, 6 week ultrasound, 9 week ultrasound, and getting off my terrible progesterone shots. I was also nauseated and puking most days and in pain from my shots.

Now I am feeling much better and am not so stressed and concerned as I was in the beginning so the time is starting to fly by. I felt so great this last week, and did not have any pregnancy symptoms at all.

This week our baby should be around 8.5 ounces and 6 inches from head to rump and it's brain is developing specialized areas for smell taste, hearing, vision and touch.

I have my 20 week ultrasound one week from today!

Old, New, Same

Well, still hanging in there. This pregnancy is going well...as far as I can tell. I am 9 weeks today. Here's some of what I've been experiencing thus far.

My appetite has increased but hasn't gone haywire. I have noticed that I'm hungry every 2-3 hours, which is something I haven't experienced before. My mood swings don't seem to be as "severe" as they have been in my past pregnancies. The fatigue isn't as bad either. So far I've gained 2lbs (the first pregnancy I gained 10; the second, none before the MC). A LOT of nausea. I've been using these things called Sea-Bands to help; surprising they've been doing a fantastic job! Also, a lot of reflux...I've had to go to sleep sitting up for about a week now. And, my boobs are killing me! That's new for me too. Yeesh.

Still taking the progesterone suppositories. Not excited about those things but naturally I will continue to take them. At my 8 week appointment (sometime last week, I can't remember what day) the NP told me that I can stop them around 12-13 weeks. That, I'm excited about. Hehe.

My next ultrasound is scheduled for Feb 10th. I'll be about 13weeks and some change. I didn't want to wait that long, but that's during the window when some first trimester screenings can be done. So to keep me sane, I've bought a fetal doppler (I found what looks like a pretty decent doppler for about $120. A small price to pay for some peace of mind). Who knows if I'll be able to detect the heartbeat but I'm excited about trying. I really hope I can, though. That would save me a lot of worry in the next 5 five weeks.

Same Old Thing.....

Well nothing new to report on. Aunt Flo came and went. I am currently on CD7. My temp has been going up the past few days though. But I think I am getting sick and my house has been crazy hot the past couple of days. All day today I've had a headache and have been super dizzy. I dont wanna get sick! grrrrr. My chart could look like I O'd on CD4 orCD5 but that just can't be right because AF was still in town. So I'm just dismissing that bologna.

I'm gonna start my OPK's when I get home from work tonight. My plan is to do the BD once I get a positive OPK and do it for atleast 4 days after that. I would think I would be covered with that. And if I don't get KU this month I'm sending Mr.Buckeye Bud for some "analysis."

Okay, that's all I have for now. Hope everyone is doing well! Peace and hair grease!

To Lose a Few

Monday Mr. Explorer Bud and I have officially started eating Paleo again which has been nice so far. It is always rough to have to start making everything from scratch but I am already feeling a bit better. After bingeing on sugar over the holidays my body is ready to not eat sugar for a while. My face is starting to clear up as well which is nice to see!! Mr. Explorer Bud really wants to lose the extra pounds he has put on since we have been married but has trouble sticking to eating plans so I committed to packing him lunches so he can be successful and do this with me. Next week we will start going to the gym, blah!!

:-/

I wish I could just know what is going on with this cycle of mine. It is currently CD68, with no sign of AF, not even in the distance. My temps have stayed relatively high the last week, and my boobs have been killing me! They are slightly better today, but they've been so bad I haven't even wanted Mr. DBud to touch them (and he is always trying to cop a feel). The whole breast has had this tender feeling, while my nipple hurts a bit more. Strange :-/ here's what my current chart looks like (I'm going to have to link it to my profile on the sidebar to make this easier).

I also had a wicked appetite yesterday. I had black beans and rice with steak and some avocado for dinner (what can I say... I'm Cuban) and a bite size piece of Cheesecake my student's mom made for me. That was at almost 8pm. At midnight, I was starving! I went to bed without eating anything, cause it was too late and I was already laying down... But still.No results from the Dr. yet. Going to call today and see if I can get some answers. They said that no matter what the results turned out to be, they would contact me about them. The Dr. also said if it was something out of the ordinary, she would call me and set up an appointment. But the communication from there office the past three weeks has been... Zilch. Let's see what happens. Will update when I have "answers".


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18 Weeks

This last week flew by! Mr Lucky Bud took off Thursday to Monday New Years weekend, so it was great to be all together for a long weekend. I normally post on Thursdays, but was waiting to post until I had a photo, and I finally took one today.

I finally have not only gained back the lbs that I lost with always being sick in my first trimester, but also gained 3 lbs. Yeah! I worry about getting enough nutritian  and also gaining weight for the baby so I am happy to see a change in my weight. I am starting to show little by little, but not that much.

Our embryo donors contacted our social worker to see if we could meet in two weeks! This is great news for us as we know very little about them and was hoping that they would be open to a semi open situation. I am a little nervous but excited at the same time. I set up my ultrasound for Wednesday, January 18th and am looking forward to that.

Mr Lucky Bud finished doing all of the work to install a washer and dryer on the upstairs floor of our townhouse, and they arrived yesterday! I did my first load upstairs today. This is going to make life so much easier! Yeah!

Our baby is now about 5.5 inches crown to rump, and 7 ounces. I am still VERY hungry lately. That is basically all there is to report this week. 

18 weeks, 4 days

Little Lucky Bud colored Lucky Tummy Baby

Here's the plan, Stan!

Mr. Bossy took off this past Wednesday, and we returned to our RE.

First off, I have to say that we have the BEST RE in the world. She is so kind and really takes an interest in Mr. Bossy & me. She sat down with us and explained that we would be transferring two embryos for our FET. The embryologist will decide on the two that we'll transfer. At first, I was annoyed by this. I like to have a say in major decisions, and I was a little ticked that we wouldn't get to decide. My RE explained that the embryologist knows best and will be able to make the best decision as to which two will hopefully (fingers crossed) attach.

She also explained how much easier a FET will be on my body. She's having me take estrogen and progesterone. That's it. She had previously mentioned that I would take 4 nights of the progesterone in oil shots, then switch me to the suppositories. I had a mental note to ask if I could just stay with the shots. I'd prefer them since they are over with so quickly, and I've heard the suppositories are really messy. Imagine my surprise when (before I could even mention it) she asked if I would like to take the PIO shots only. Without hesitation, I agreed! She actually prefers her patients to continue with the shots but also knows how painful they are, so she doesn't require it. She was pleased that I would prefer to keep taking them.

Mr. Bossy really surprised me when he spoke up and asked if there is anything he needs to do to help us. My RE told him that he'd already done everything and to just relax. Regardless, I thought it was really sweet of him to see what he could do to help our chances.

Now for the frustrating part- Aunt Flo still hasn't arrived. When I mentioned it to our RE, she acted like it was normal. The plan is for Aunt Flow to arrive. Then, we'll get started on the next cycle. I'm so anxious! Our RE said that it is not safe for us to try and conceive on our own this cycle. She went on to explain that 40% of couples that use fertility treatments are able to conceive on their own afterward. She gave us the "all clear" to try naturally the cycle after AF arrives.

In the midst of all of this, we've had two more pregnancy announcements amongst our friends. Does it ever get easier to hear them? ::sigh::



Bossy Bud

AF's Vacation

I am NOT happy to report that AF has, still, not arrived. I am on CD65 with no BFP and no AF. My boobs have been KILLING ME the last few days (they are super tender and my nipples hurt). I STILL haven't gotten my lab results from the OB/GYN, therefore I am planning on calling them on Tuesday, which will mark three weeks since my appointment (15 business days). They told me it should take about 10, and I overestimated a bit due to the holidays... But enough is enough. Can you tell I am ready for a new Doc?! I haven't filled the prescription for the AF-forcing meds, since I am waiting for my results first. We'll see how this all pans out. My CBEFM arrived today. I have been very busy, packing up some stuff (and getting rid of lots of stuff) to do a home renovation project, so I didn't want to pull it out and then not have time to peruse the contents of the box. I am excited about using it, and hope that it will shed some more light on my situation. I would be interested in finding out about my fellow buds, as well as the readers', experiences with the CBEFM. Please share :)


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New year, same cycle

First off, I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year :) May 2012 be the year of many sticky babies! I've been a bit MIA lately, caught up in the Holidays, followed by our NYE trip to the Happiest place on Earth (which, by the way, was amazing). I have since resumed my daily routine of waking up early to go to work, and temping as well. This is what my chart looks like now...


No O and no sign of AF, but I've had tender breasts the past couple of days, so that may be a sign that she is approaching (or not). Still, I am hopeful for the future. I am (still) waiting on the results of my blood work and ultrasounds (do you think it's time to find a new OB/GYN?), but when the results are in, I'll probably fill the prescription the Doc gave me to force AF to show. Then, it'll be off to the RE. I took some good advice from a fellow bud and found a CBEFM on eBay. I won the item, and it is now on its way. Hopefully this will work out :) I am curious about how a CDEFM works vs. how OPKs work. I am assuming that (due to the price) the CBEFM is more sensitive - one can hope - but to tell you the truth, I don't know much about them. I guess we'll see :) Anyway, I am trying to stay positive despite other not so positive things surrounding me at the moment - which I won't mention here. I am getting a feeling that 2012 might be "it". While we were in WDW, Mr. DBud and I took a friend on "It's a Small World" (she had never been on it before). We were amazed at how many people have thrown coins in the water! Well, Mr. DBud pulled a coin out of his pocket and tells me, "Here's to changing our luck" as he proceeded to toss it in the water beside our little boat. I felt this joy inside me, and couldn't keep a smile off my face. I think this year will be so much better for us... I can feel it :)


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A weight lifted...

I decided to call my OB/GYN yesterday to see if my US could be moved up to this week since that's when they wanted it done anyway. A couple of hours after leaving the message for the nurse, she called and told me that it was scheduled for today at the hospital at 9:15! I was utterly surprised and excited. (My provider at work persuaded me to get my beta checked again because I worrying "too much." To my surprise it was over 188,000! The absolute highest it's ever been.)


Anyway, my mom went with me this morning and this is what we saw...

HAAaaaaaa. A sigh of relief, a few giddy giggles and a high five later the tech measured the heart rate at a strong 170 beats per minute. It was beautiful. And exciting. And exhilarating. And miraculous. To have never gotten this far in a pregnancy and to make it to this milestone...no words.

Thanks Buds for the support and I pray that we all will have Baby Buds in the months to come!

Hormone Replacement Therapy

So with the New Year, we have a new plan. We are going to Hormone Therapy for the next 4-6 months, I am going to lose the extra weight, get in shape and try another IVF cycle at the end of our hormone treatment cycle. This is something I can do to try and improve our chances and something I have control over so pretty much it will keep me sane, for awhile! :)

I met with the RE today and talked about what Hormone Replacement Therapy ("HRT") could do for my "issues". The RE said that HRT has shown to improve egg quality, help increase insulin sensitivity and balance my hormones to treat my PCOS symptoms, increase my sensitivity to the fertility drugs in future IVF cycles and help me feel better overall. I did appreciate this statement from the RE "You deserve to feel good after all the stuff you have been through". Amen to that!! With treating the PCOS and Hypothyroid symptoms I should be losing this lovely extra 15-20 pounds I am carrying around, have more energy, clearer mind, sleeping better, better sex drive, stronger nails, less dry skin and better muscle tone (I used to have amazing muscle definition before all these problems started).
I had my blood drawn to test my thyroid levels, total and free testosterone, FSH, progesterone, estradiol, and prolactin. My veins are a nurses nightmare because they are by feel only and like to disappear and it seems my left arm is really the only one nurses can find. I had to drink 32 oz of water, eat some crackers and be stuck four times to get enough blood to run the tests. PURE JOY :)
We will wait and see what all my levels are looking like so the RE will know the dosage to give me of hormones. The procedure sounds pretty simple, the RE will make a small incision above my hip and place a pellet of natural testosterone and estrogen mixture that will sit and be absorbed over the next 4-6 months. Every day 14-28 of my cycle I will need to take natural progesterone to make sure my lining is shedding properly. The effects are supposed to be noticeable from 1-4 days of putting in the pellet. If they are not then they may need to add another pellet due to my hormone levels being depleted for so long that they need an extra boost.

After 4 months the RE will test my Testosterone levels to see if they are down to a normal level and if they are we can do another IVF cycle then or we will need to wait till about month 6 when the hormones have completely left my system.

I am going to also start talking with acupuncturists in my area that specialize in infertility to see what they recommend for someone with my problems doing IVF and what they charge.

I am getting tired of the emotional roller coaster and am ready to do all that is available out there. I am not sure how much more I can handle of failures, it is just so depressing and long and stressful and tiring and emotional and, and, and...

The New Years Celebration is Over Rated

Well, 2012 is a bust already. My temps were rising at one point but now they are decreasing. Aunt Flo is def on her way to see me.

I guess the Femara didn't help me to get KU. I'm so frustrated. After 3 miscarriages and 1 tubal in the past 15 months I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. This is our 3rd month in a row that we were unsuccessful. I never had this problem in the past and here I am having to deal with "infertility" on top of a history of losses. My medical bills are stacking up to the point of disgust. There's no way I could ever afford IVF so I feel like this will never happen for me. I just wanna cry.

-Buckeye Bud

Final Results

I went in on New Year'e eve morning to have my blood drawn and then ran some errands while I waited for the RE to call. Luckily I managed to be heading to my car when the call came in so I wouldn't be surrounded by people!! My levels dropped to a 2, so I am officially not pregnant. I had a feeling that was the results since I started bleeding the night before. It was brown but a lot more blood than spotting.

I feel kinda numb right now, I am sad but I am not as sad feeling as the past two times. I am not sure why that is but at least I am functioning better. I definitely had the right support group this time around. The first time I told family and a couple close friends, the second we ended up telling a ton of people and I hated getting to tell everyone it didn't work and being asked about it. So this time we only told the people that "got it" and would be the support system that both Mr. Explorer Bud and I needed. With all the ups and downs of this cycle my support group, including my buds, were what kept me sane and positive throughout. Thank you soo much!!!

Whats next? I briefly talked to the RE about doing Hormone Replacement Therapy before trying another cycle so I am going to call and make an appointment this week to really talk about it. I am also going to look into acupuncture to see how much it will really cost us to do as well. I am not sure what else we can change that will make IVF work, there isn't anything else left.

Wherefore art thou, Aunt Flo?

Happy 2012!!

Mr. Bossy & I rang in the New Year with friends and family last night (and early this morning). We've just returned from my MIL's after eating black-eyed peas and collard greens. Now, sadly, it's time to take down our Christmas decorations.

I'm so excited to begin the New Year off right. My New Year's resolution is to drink less caffeine (sweet tea is my vice) and more water. Day 1 (so far) has been a great success!

Mr. Bossy & I are also excited to say goodbye to 2011 and all of its sad memories. The good news, though, is that we now know what it takes for us to get pregnant! 2012 WILL be our year. I just need Aunt Flow to arrive. My RE told me that it would take 2-4 weeks after my d & c for my period to arrive. Tomorrow will mark 4 weeks, and there is still no sight of her.

I'll return to see my RE on Wednesday, and to say I'm anxious to begin our FET would be an understatement. Fingers crossed that she gives us the "all clear" to try again.




Bossy Bud