13 Weeks/ Little Lucky Buds Adoption Story

Today I am 13 weeks pregnant. Our baby is about 3 inches long from crown to rump now. December 3rd marks the start of my second trimester, which is wonderful news. I am feeling so much better these days. I still get sick occasionally, but I am able to hold down meals for the most part, and I don't have the constant feeling of nausea all day that I used to feel. Really I am feeling great right now!

There is not too much to report for this weeks, so I thought that I would tell the story of how Little Lucky Bud (now 2 and a half) came into our family. Hopefully it is not too long. I always have a hard time keeping things short and focused, so here it goes...

Little Lucky Bud's birthmother, "Katie" (not her real name) was just turning 17 when she found out that she was 2 months pregnant. She had sisters that had had children very young, and had decided even before she became pregnant, that she would like to chose adoption if she was ever in the same possition. Once it became a reality, she knew that she could not provide for Little Lucky Bud, and wanted him to have the best life she could give him. She looked through some adoption profiles on an online website, and our profile stood out to her. She wanted to wait until she was three months along to write us. She looked at our profile everyday and by the time she wrote us, she was so excited to meet us. She already was feeling attatched to us and was very sweet in her email. We wrote everyday for the next two weeks until Mr. Lucky Bud and I drove to meet her in Michigan (we live in Maryland).

We spent four days with Katie and her family and we all got along great. Katie wanted to see us again, and Thanksgiving break worked best with her school schedule. We made plans for her to fly to see us then.

In the next month or two Katie struggled with her desion to adopt, and it was not clear what would happen. She felt pressured by her social worker, and all of her friends were telling her that they could never give their baby away.

We wanted to remain supportive, but did not want her to feel pressured, so we took a few steps back and communicated a little less with her. As Thanksgiving got closer we knew that it was a very strong possibilty that Katie might chose to parent her baby.

 To our surprise she did decided to come see us after all. On the way home from the airport we stopped for a bite to eat. Shortly after sitting down, Katie looked a little anxious and said that she had big news for us. She said that she could tell us now, or wait until Thanksgiving when we were with family. We wanted to know then of course. It was then, sitting at the Olive Garden that Katie said, "I don't know how you are supposed to say this, but I chose you. Will you be the parents of my baby." We were so happy and overwhelmed. More recently Katie has told me that after she officially decided on adoption, she felt at peace with her choice and did not struggle back and forth anymore. When we got home Katie showed us the ultrasound and had us guess the sex...and of course it was a boy!

Over the next few months we became much closer through emails. Scott and I visited Michigan again in January for another ultrasound. It was nice to spend more time with Katie, and to see the baby, and the we went home.

Upon Kaite request, I drove out to MI one week before Little Lucky Buds birth. Katie did not want to miss any  more school, and was determined to have him a week early (during spring break) and to have time to recover and head back to school just in time. Despite all of her efforts, Little Lucky Bud arrived exaclty on his due date. Katie really wanted Mr. Lucky Bud to be there for the birth also, but he was still driving, and arrived an hour after he was born. I was blessed to be there when our son was born.

It was an amazing expirience to watch our baby come into the world. As soon as I met him I was filled with such a deep love for him, and I couldn't imagine my life without him again.

I cut the umbilicle cord, and held him shortly after he was born. I had spent the past four months inducing lactation, and was able to feed him without a supplementer for the first week or so. It was an incredible bonding experience for us, for me to be able to breast feed him.

Kaite was extremely thoughtful during the whole adoption process, and wanted Little Lucky Bud to be able to bond with us as much as possible from the time he was born. The hospital gave us a room right next to Katie, and we were able to sleep the night with him in our room. Mr. Lucky Bud stayed up the entire night staring at our new precious baby.

We did have some issues the next morning with the hospital staff, and it was an extrememly difficult day. It seemed uncertain if we were going to be able to take him home at times. In Michigan the birthparents have 30 days to change their minds about adoption. From the time that I held Little Lucky Bud, I felt 100% as if I had carried him and given birth to him. I loved him so much. As you could probably imagine, the next 30 days were very difficult and emotional, not only for us but also for our sweet and wonderful birthmother. It was a glorious day for us when Little Lucky Bud legally belonged to us, and all of the stress and fears of losing him were past.

Little Lucky Bud enters the world

I had become a mother at last

Adoption changed our lives forever. I am so grateful for adoption and for the strength of our courageous, selfless birth mother. Thanksgiving will always be a special time for our family as we rember that very special visit with Katie.

Baby Lucky Bud joined our family Christmas Eve 2010, so you can expect to hear about his adoption story soon!

Lucky Bud

The Waiting Game.

Tomorrow will mark 3 weeks since we discovered our baby didn't have a heartbeat. Honestly, it feels like forever ago. There was denial (the doctor could be wrong, right?) numbness, and TONS of tears. I'll admit that I'm doing much better now, but tears still come to my eyes when I least expect it.

I opted for a natural miscarriage. A few friends were surprised to learn about my decision. In fact, one response was, "Dear God, bless you." Another friend asked, "Why?" I honestly could not answer. It was just what I wanted. I wanted (for once) my body to do something naturally. I wanted to be able to say goodbye to our child on "my" terms.

Sadly, that didn't work out. I never miscarried. I returned to my doctor this afternoon, and she told me that we could wait another week and see what happens. I chose to go ahead with the D&C. Not to sound cold- but, I'm ready to move forward and I feel like the longer we prolong this, the longer it will take to prepare my body for the FET.

My D&C is scheduled for Monday morning.

I was able to ask my RE a lot of questions pertaining to the FET (I'm obviously a planner). She said that we will transfer two embryos this time instead of one (we did one for our fresh cycle). She also told me that they are seeing a greater success with their FETs compared to their fresh cycles. She went on to explain that my body will be under much less stress, and she promised that our frozen embryos were of excellent quality.

I learned that they freeze the embryos in sets of two. And, I also learned that they don't freeze the "best of the best" together. Since my clinic is trying to reduce the number of multiple births, they freeze a "top notch" embryo with a mediocre embryo. Regardless, my RE told me that our chance of success is 53%. It was 50% for our fresh cycle. I'll take it!

Now- if only I could fast-forward til' February. Perhaps I should change my name to Impatient Bud!

-Bossy Bud

+OPK at 4DPO?

Just for the heck of it, I decided to use another OPK... After all, they go bad after 30 days, and I have a few left, so why not? Well, as you can see, it was positive. So I started wondering... Does this mean anything? My +OPK was on Friday (CD22), coinciding with my temp drop and subsequent rise. Temps have stayed above the line, varying only by half a degree. I am praying they stay up, and that all this cramping and all these twinges are the sign of something good. I guess we will have to see... I'm currently 5DPO and MAJORLY itching to test!!!! Still hoping for a sticky Turkey ;)




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Metformin, and the earliest one can POAS?

For starters... a quick question about Metformin... How many of you were taking Metformin before getting pregnant to combat PCOS, and in fact got pregnant AND continued taking it throughout your first trimester? Last time... I took it, and I got KU, but then miscarried/had a chemical pregnancy relatively early. I had stopped taking metformin, and my OB/GYN said I was right to stop taking it, but I have been reading a few studies that state how metformin can lower the chances of miscarriage in women suffering from PCOS... what do your Docs say??? I am curious to know :)

So, I was browsing some galleries on FF, and came across one with Positive Pregnancy Tests. I was fascinated at how some women start testing as early as 6DPO and sometimes even get a faint line! Of course, they continue testing on a daily basis (sometimes twice a day) to see if the line progressively gets darker. More women start to get a faint line starting 9DPO, and most can see positive results at 11DPO, and beyond. Obviously, this all depends on your own LP, but I can't help at wonder...

So the question remains... What is the earliest one should test? And which is the best test for detecting small traces of HCG? I know the lower the number, the easier it is for it to detect a tiny amount of the hormone... so what has been your "go-to" stick to pee on???

The last time I got my BFP, I am not sure how many DPO I was, since I wasn't temping... I was just going by my "regular" cycles at the time, which were 35 days (like clockwork). My Period Tracker App estimated that I Oed on day 22 of my cycle (read old post here), and we BDed on day 21, which was right around the time we were celebrating our Anniversary ;) Well, this time... I Oed on... CD22 - again! My first faint line appeared at 11DPO (and looking back, it wasn't THAT faint, especially after confirming some early results on FF), and my official digital reading appeared at 15DPO.

I don't think I can hold out until 11DPO this time :-/ I might want to start POAS at 6DPO, and I don't care if that means I have to buy more than one box of tests... Any thoughts?? The anxiety is KILLING me!!!! LOL LOL LOL!!!

You know you are seriously TTC when............

All us ladies have is trouble! They say laughter is the best medicine......and although it's hard for me to smile 99.9% of the time, this list I found made me chuckle. I'm sure we can all relate!

You know you are seriously TTC when...............

1) When someone asks you the date and you say it's "5dpo".

2)When you get up in the middle of the night with a bad dream and promptly put the thermometer in your mouth.

3)When in the lingerie section of a shopping mall you look at something and say "i think this should do the trick this time I Ovulate!"

4)When you keep digging the hpt's & opk's from the trash hour after hour just to check in case there is a second line even though you are supposed to read it within a time limit.

5) You feel guilty for wiping or dripping in the potty after doing the BD. Such a waste of spermies!!

6)When instead of cuddling up in bed after doing the BD, you have your legs sticking up in the air so the spermies can get in fast.

7) When you live in total fear of AF and are scared of goin to pee or poo after you do get knocked up!

8)When the month is divided into 3 phases:- Pre-O, Oing & post O instead of days and weeks.

9)When you daydream constantly of your baby shower,whether the baby will be a boy or a girl,and the attention you will get once your preggers.

10)When going to pee means a)Pull down pants b)Pee on a stick c)Hold pee d)Wait for the result e) See the results f)Empty bladder now g)Pull up pants

Appointment Disappointment

Welcome Bossy Bud, it is great to have you here!!

Today was our second IVF appointment where we were doing an ultrasound to check how the eggs were growing. Well...it seems I don't respond all that well to Clomid & Femara and my eggs are not growing. So we had two choices, cancel the cycle now or the next two days up my dose of Menopur and do another ultrasound Thursday to see if they have grown so we can retrieve them. I feel like banging my head against a wall!! We of course went with option 2 since who bails when you have a slight chance to get something out of the cycle. So we went home and Mr. Explorer Bud gave me 4 vials of Menopur in my rear. Luckily with some good numbing I didn't feel a thing. Really numbing does wonders when it comes to shots!! So I am keeping my fingers crossed that the eggs will grow so we can harvest them soon.

Bossy Bud's Intro!

Hi Everyone!

I'm so pleased and honored to be able to join the Bloomin' Babies Board! I've been interested in blogging for quite a while now, but I've never had the courage to jump into it. I can't wait to share our TTC journey with each of you.

I can be a little long-winded, so I'll give you a summary (or as my students like to call it- the short version). Mr. Bossy Bud (who is anything but bossy) and I live in Central Florida. Ironically, we aren't Disney fans, but we adore the beach and eating seafood. We met and fell in love ten years ago. Five years ago, he made me his wife. Up until three years ago, we were living our lives quite happily. You see- I'm extremely bossy (hence my Bud name) and I plan everything to the last detail.

I had everything figured out:

• Get engaged. (July 4th, 2004)
  
• Graduate college with my Bachelors. (May 2005)
• Teach one full year. ( August 2005- June 2006)
  
• Begin graduate school. (August 2006)
• Get married. (October 2006)
• Build our first home. (September 2007)
• Graduate from graduate school. (August 2008)
• Begin TTC. (October 2008)
  

We (of course) thought TTC would be simple. Just ditch the birth control and BD as much as possible. Boy- were we wrong. After one year of trying, we visited my OB/GYN who diagnosed me with PCOS and placed me on met-formin. She ordered some tests on Mr. Bossy Bud and determined that he was fine. Then- she referred us to a RE.

Two years later, three unsuccessful IUIs, IVF, and a recent missed miscarriage have led us to today. I can honestly say that our journey has only made us stronger and brought us that much closer. Our current plan is to remain hopeful and prayerful for a FET in January/February.

The following Bible verse comes to mind every time I find myself questioning the plan:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I'm beginning to realize that I can't be in control of everything (no matter how hard I fight it), and everything happens for a reason. I'm hoping that blogging on Bloomin' Babies will help keep me focused and allow me to share and learn throughout my journey!

-Bossy Bud

Confusion, concern and jealousy

This was the result of my OPK on Friday:

The confusion and concern:

Yeah, that's as dark as it got. You can't tell from the pic, but the test line is darker at the far end (if that makes sense). I was so hoping for a definitive 2 lines but I don't know if pregnancy is still a possibility. I had some nice egg-white CF for a couple of days though. We BD'd about every other day for a week. My hope for a baby will probably still have me checking a HPT next week when AF is expected to arrive.



The jealousy?

Well, the BF brought the new baby to work last week. Yeah that was hard. Baby Girl was so sweet and cuddly and had that endearing new-baby smell. Then she was cranky and hungry and pooped a glorious shade of yellow all over herself. MAN...I know it's not a "pie job," but I have never been so ready for a "job" change. And hearing all of the pregnancy likes and dislikes from the new soon-to-be member of mommyhood doesn't help either. If the preggers bug doesn't bite me this month, I believe I will start checking BBT like Diva. That, with the OPK helped her...hopefully it will me too.

I'd like to present... Ovulation!!!

It's pretty clear, if you ask me ;)

I went ahead and discarded the first temp that was taken with the old BBT, and now my chart reads like this.

The only bad part is, now, we are in the 2WW, which SUCKS! :-/ I guess I'll just keep temping in the meantime until I can test...

C'mon, little Turkey... Stick!!!




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Frustration Sets In.....Need Some Opinions

Ughh I'm so frustrated right now! Getting pregnant in the past has been so effortless. Ever since I started temping it seems this whole process has me super stressed!

• Wednesday: 7 days since AF was visiting. Watery cervical mucus. WooHoo....eggy will be dropping soon (I can always tell b/c of this)!!
  

• Thursday: 7 days since AF was visiting. Watery cervical mucus. Positive OPK. WHooHoo....in 24-36 hours I should expect to ovulate! Did the BD.
  

• Friday: Sore boobies. Positive OPK (even more distinct test line). Did the BD.
  

• Saturday: Sore boobies. Negative OPK (just for the hell of it) No BD....Mr.Bud fell asleep early.
  

• Sunday: Sore boobies.

HOWEVER, according to my FF BBT Chart, it says I ovulated on Wednesday. WTF?!!! That's only 7 days past the first day of AF! I don't know which I should believe. Temps or my OPK's. AND why in the hell do my boobs hurt?! They have never hurt before or after ovulation. They usually ONLY hurt about a week before AF arrives. And she arrived just a little over a week ago.
Here is my chart:

The past 2 days on my chart are the empty circles which means they could be wrong. I tested twice each time double checking my numbers but they pretty much stayed the same.....so I know they weren't wrong!

CAN ANYONE HELP ME MAKE SENSE OF THIS?!!

Slightly different data interpretation

Hello, everyone :) I hope you all are having a great LONG Thanksgiving Weekend!!!

I have decided to input all the TTC data, I have been collecting, into Fertility Friend, aside from continuing to use Period Tracker. I know a lot of my fellow buds have had a lot of luck using it, and since they also have an app, it makes it easy to input BBT early in the morning ;)

So, here is my FF chart so far...



I am not too sure about how accurate the 1st temp is, being that it was taken with an old BBT that was partially chewed up. The rest of the temps are taken with my new BBT, purchased when I bought the OPKs. As you can see, my positive OPK lines up with the drop in temp, which looks pretty good. I saw a few other charts on FF, from women with similar issues to mine, using metformin, etc, who had a positive right on the day of the temp drop, or right after... And since we've been BDing like crazy, we should be in good shape. Not to mention I've been pretty good about taking the metformin lately... I finally got a little rhythm going. I can only hope this all pays off!!!

Now I find myself with a major charting dilemma... I want tomorrow morning to come already so I can temp again and continue seeing how things develop! ;)




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One more thing...

I think it's a good sign when the left line starts to darken before the right... Just sayin' ;)

Definitely BDing tonight! And the next couple of nights...




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Can it be?

First off, I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It's been a crazy year, but at the end of the day we cannot forget what we have to be thankful for <3 With that said... Here is the result of last night's OPK.



Not too shabby... And, after temping this morning, this is what my "mini-chart" looks like:



Could it possibly be a temp drop? It's hard to tell since I haven't been temping all month... But... If I continue temping (which I will) and there's a rise in temp, we may have a winner :)

Mr. DBud and I did not BD last night due to our turkey-induced comas. But, regardless, our TTC Track Record has been pretty good.



If we BD tonight, we should be un good shape :) I told you all I was determined to bake a Turkey this month ;)



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Thanksgiving Surprise

The past 2 days I have had quite a bit of CM. This is the first way I always know when I am getting ready to Ovulate. It's only cycle day 8 so it does concern me. I really think that Prometrium might of messed with me.
But any-who, at around 4:00 this afternoon I took an ovulation test and it came out positive. Mr.Buckeye Bud and I went ahead and FWP just in case. I just tested again and got another positive (9:00pm)

I have been charting my temps/cycle symptoms for the first time in my life and I find it pretty intriguing. The past 2 days there is an obvious increase in temperature. I'm pretty anxious to test it in the morning to see if it continues to rise. Im not sure when my chart will get a crosshair, but hopefully it wont show one for a couple of days. According to what I read on the net, if I ovulate too early in my cycle my egg won't be soft enough to let the little tadpoles in.

If I don't get pregnant this cycle I wont be too disappointed. After all, I do get to start Femara next month and maybe that will make me drop multiple eggs! Now that would be one heck of a blessing!

BTW.......Hoping everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Analyze this!!!!!

Here I am on CD20. As I've been doing the past few nights, I POAS to see if I ovulated or not. I don't know about you... But this looks like a positive OPK to me...



If you go back to my previous post, there is definitely a difference. I am not an expert with these OPK things, but it does look like a positive to me :)

I decided to go back and look at my Period Tracker app calendar from back in January when we conceived for the first time... Here it is:



We BDed on the 23rd, 25th and 29th, and I got my BFP on 2/10, with a loss on 2/14... Judging by my current calendar, and this OPK, it may be "go time".



We are going to BD again tonight, but I am definitely going to continue using these OPKs until either a) I get another BFP or b) AF comes to town. Let's hope and pray for "a" :)




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12 Weeks

Today I am 12 weeks into my pregnancy. Here is what is new!

1. Midwife appointment-
     I had an apt. with my midwife yesterday. It took a while for her to find a heartbeat. At first I was chatting the student midwife, so I wasn't thinking too much about it. Then I started to notice how
 long it was taking and I started to worry. She did find a good heartbeat though just after and I was so happy. The heart rate was 155 beats per minute. I could hear it so clear, I was so relieved.

2. Progesterone-
     I went off of my progesterone a week or so ago. In the first trimester when you do IVF, or a FET, you need to supplement your progesterone. If you want to know why you don't have progesterone naturally during IVF go here.

     Around the 10th to 12th week or so though, the placenta takes over the production of progesterone, so you can go off of the supplements. My levels before I went off the injections were 90. After they were 15. They said that it is natural to have a drop, but then the placenta should kick in and start making it, and if it doesn't, I need to go back on the injections for a bit longer.

     I took my follow up blood test today, but they forgot to order it as "stat" so I won't get the result until Monday. I called my fertility clinic and they told me to go back on the PIO twice a day until I get my results back :( It is disappointing to have to go back on the shots, but I feel better about going back on them, just in case, since my levels were borderline.

3. Nausea-
     My Nausea was getting so bad, that I decided to get a prescription medication from my midwife. Today was my first full day taking it, and I feel like a new person. I feel soooo much better. I wasn't able to hold down one meal for three days straight, and was getting very weak, not to mention worried about providing nutrition for the baby. My midwife said that it is 100% safe for the baby, so I wish that I had tried this sooner.

4.Buds-
     I am currently referring to my kids as Baby Lucky Bud and Little Lucky Bud... but then what do I call baby #3? Any Suggestions????? I could also switch up the names of our Little Buds..but am not sure what I would call them. Let me know if you have any ideas!!!

Little Lucky Bud

Baby Lucky Bud

Name me!

5. Baby Development-
This week our babies biggest development will be reflexes. It will start curling toes, opening and closing its fingers and making sucking motions with her/his mouth. S/he is just over 2 inches from crown to rump, and looks something like the photo above. credit

Lucky Bud

Who Ever Said Nothing In Life Is Free?

So I went to pick up my script today for my Femara. Thankfully there is a generic for this drug which makes it much more affordable. However, to my surprise, this medication was not only covered by my insurance, it was FREE!!! Yes Free! How? Why? Don't know and don't care!

I grabbed those pills and pretty much sprinted out of Walgreens as fast as I could before they could tell me something was wrong. Is this a sign that I'm supposed to get knocked up soon?! Lets hope so! I will start on this medication around mid December.

Instructions for use: Take 2 tablets (2.5mg) by mouth everyday on cycle day 3-7

For the hell of it, I thought I would post some basic info about this Clomid replacement.
Credit: http://www.ivf1.com/letrozole-femara-infertility/

Letrozole, also sold under the name Femara, is being used commonly as an infertility treatment. It is also medication that has been widely used in women with breast cancer. Letrozole, taken during cyle day's 3-7, is a medication that is metabolized rapidly in the body and is not thought to have significant levels in the blood or tissues for a prolonged period of time.

Credit: http://www.advancedfertility.com/femara-letrozole-fertility.htm

• Femara is known to have a short half-life in the bloodstream and is given early in the menstrual cycle - several days before a fertilized embryo is present.
• It is believed that the drug has cleared from the system before the egg is fertilized. Therefore, it is puzzling as to how the drug could cause birth defects.
• The manufacturer of the drug has apparently not filed for FDA approval to use it for infertility. However, physicians often use medications in an "off label" way. When the off label use is safe and effective it is perfectly legitimate.

Another GREAT resource can be located at:
http://www.ivf.com/clom.html

And let me remind you of what my doc said......."All of the benefits of Clomid, but without the nasty side effects!"

Over analyzing? So what?!

This TTC stuff is serious business... For one, I find myself thinking about it all the time, from each and every symptom I feel, to every single move I make. Still, with all of that other "stuff" I have decided to narrow my "fertility decoding tools" down to two: OPKs and BBT. Here is an update on my current findings...

To refresh your memory, and in an effort to put things into perspective, yesterday's OPK looked like this:



I decided, today, to test twice... For good measure. A little tip from Cactus Bud ;) I tested at about 6:30pm and again at 11:45pm (around the time I have been testing nightly). Here are the results from those two (earlier time on top, later time on bottom):




Now, in addition to using OPKs, I am also tracking my BBT. I began doing so yesterday, so there is not much to show... But what I have so far is this:



And now, ladies... I am more confused than ever :-/ can anyone help me decipher all of this? Is the big O coming? Or am
I waiting in vain... :-/ either way, Mr. DBud and I are about to BD... So that should help... C'mon TURKEY!!!! ;) ;) ;) lets hope that "stork" yesterday is bringing me good luck...




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And on CD14...

Ok, so I have been taking the OPKs since CD6. Every day has been blatanly negative. Last night I said something to Mr. CB about possibly not ovulating this month either because I haven't noticed any changes in my CF - dry as a bone. Ironically, this morning I was surprised with this:

Sorry the pic is so blurry. Maybe I was too excited to hold the camera still. We have been FWPing every other day so far. It looks like it's time to step things up a little though, huh?

I babysat for the BF this past weekend. I swear, if I can be so blessed I promise to try my hardest to not fuss and complain about the lack of sleep, the poopy diapers, the sore boobs or the post-partem bleeding. I promise that I will remind myself everyday how lucky I am to overcome such adversity while never forgetting and always remembering the babies I've lost.

Amen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would like to send a formal "WELCOME!" to Buckeye Bud. I'm sorry I haven't done this earlier but my poor old laptop struggles sometimes. Anyway, as I'm sure you are quite aware, this is an exceptional group of women. I have learned a tremendous amount since joining this blog and find immeasurable comfort in knowing that I am not alone in these struggles. I hope that Bloomin Babies is as therapeutic for you as it has been for me. And I wish you all the luck in the world in having a baby of your own!

The Weight Has Been Lifted

Sitting at my desk at work at around 10:30ish my phone rings. It’s my doctors office. HOLY CRAP. My stomach immediately goes into a pretzel like formation and I start getting the pre-vomit watery jaws. I am absolutely terrified they are going to tell me it’s another stinking ectopic.

“Hey, great news……you have no pregnancy in your system!”

I swear 200lbs lifted off my shoulders at that very moment. I don’t think I have EVER been so relieved to not be pregnant in my entire life! First thing I thought……”THERE IS A GOD!!!!”

I talked to the nurse, whom by the way I absolutely ADORE, for about 10 minutes. She said that my body might just not react the same way some ladies do while on Prometrium. And if my body wants shorter periods, then so be it!

She then started to talk to me about Clomid and another medication that does the same thing called Femara. Here is what she told me:

Clomid makes some ladies crazy and gives them very intense side effects. It is FDA approved and most likely covered under your insurance.

Femara does EXACTLY the same thing Clomid does but WITHOUT the side effects. It is used for treatment with breast cancer patients but infertility doctors and mine specifically, LOVE it. The nurse said their office has had a ton of luck with this drug and highly recommend it!

However, the downside is that it is not FDA approved and might not be covered under my insurance.

I didn’t think twice and told her to call me in a script for the Femara and if I couldn’t afford it I would just call them back for the Clomid. So it’s settled, I start Femara on cycle day 3 and continue until cycle day 7 (Around December 15th). Two pills a day at the exact same time. I will still need to do my OPK’s and begin another 12 day cycle of Prometrium one day after FWP.

I am supposed to ovulate next weekend so I'm not sure if we should TTC on our own or just wait until the end of December when I'm set to begin my cycle again. What do you think??

New OPKs & bringing the heavy artillery ;)

So, I went ahead and purchased a new box of OPKs. For the price, I decided to go with the First Response batch which brings 20 tests. Here is the result of my first test:



The test line is a bit lighter than the other line, but it seems pretty close to me... I am going to try again tomorrow and see. I am also temping, which I think will help put things into perspective. I am also recording all my symptoms into my period tracker app.

Mr. DBud and I are taking a night off BDing. We are both a bit tired (we did it 3 nights in a row) and I am actually a bit drowsy. I had to take some medicine for a sore throat and sniffles, and I am about to knock out as we speak.

The funny thing is... When I left the pharmacy, I saw this sitting on my car...



Maybe it's a sign :) I hope so... c'mon little Turkey!!! Bake, bake, bake!!!!! :) :) :)



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Please Dont Tell Me This Is Happening Again

So I should probably get you guys updated on where I am since my last Ectopic Pregnancy in August. It seemed like I was track until I talked to my doc today. And Please keep in mind…..I am FERTILE MYRTLE (I’ve gotten knocked up every time I’ve TTC)…….I just can’t carry.

August 2011 -Tubal Pregnancy. Received a shot of Rhogam (because I have O negative blood) and an injection of Methyltrexate. I was advised to wait 90 days for the Methyltrexate to exit my system before TTC again. Progesterone was tested at this time and was at a 1!

October 2011-Finally got all the basic blood work done that was ordered by my infertility specialist. Results: 2 mutations of the MTHFR gene. Fix: 1mg of Folic Acid twice daily. Went to the chiropractor for the first time in my life to find out that I have significant scoliosis and an issue with my tail bone/last vertebrate causing my nerves to be twisted and stretched in my lower spine. Since then I’ve been seeing the chiro 3x a week which is supposed to help with fertility.

November 2011: Used OPK’s until I got a positive ovulation surge. FWP for several days prior to and two days after the surge. I also began vaginal prometrium 2x daily 2 days after the surge. I was on the prometrium for 12 day with AF expected 2 days later. She didn’t show so I took a HPT and got a BFN! 3 days later, AF arrived and was fairly heavy the first 2 days. However, it turned brown and spotty. This can’t be right considering I was on the prometrium!

Today: Concerned and paranoid of another tubal pregnancy, I called my doc and explained my AF. She too concerned, ordered me in for Beta levels. So now…..I wait……with fear. If I have to wait another 3 months to try again I just might lose my mind……seriously.

PLEASE cross your fingers for me that it’s not what I think it is :(

1st IVF Appointment

Today was our first appointment for the start of the IVF process. We did our baseline ultrasound and there were some follicles hanging out in the ovaries and no cysts. So off to a decent start. We did have to dialate my cervix which was quite the unpleasant experience. I am not sure why I didn't have to have that done the first two times but man am I glad I didn't. I wanted to throw up and pass out while trying to relax my uterus so my cervix would keep expanding. Next time I will drug myself heavily!!!

We went over the medication schedule, set up our second appointment for the 29th, got our needles and syringes and got my hip/butt marked for the Menopur injections. The Dr. said he felt they were absorbed better intramuscular instead of subcutaneous in the abdomen so sadly I will be getting more butt shots than I had hoped for but the Dr. did say they are supposed to hurt less that way as well. Can I really trust him to know that info??!!

I start Clomid and Femara tomorrow and then Menopur on Thanksgiving! I will be in rainy California for the rest of this week visiting with family so that will be good but a new twist of going through an IVF cycle doing normal life stuff.

Oh and we got to pay for the procedure, dilation and needles to a nice total of $4,710. So far with our medication costing $1,093 (I still need to purchase HCG shot and the Progesterone shots), the mini-stem IVF w/ ICSI $4,600 and cervix dilation $100 we are at $5,793. Not too bad, we will still need to pay $500 for the anesthesiologist, and the last two ultrasounds are $500 and any blood work so it will be interesting to see the grand total compared to Panama.

No OPK to report :-/

Unfortunately, I ran out of OPKs and didn't have enough time to get more yesterday...

I decided to temp last night, but that didn't do any good... So I temped again this morning, and entered that info into my period tracker app :) I guess I will have to try and temp simultaneously while using OPKs for a more accurate look into my fertility.

One thing is for sure, Mr. DBud and I spent the whole weekend doing the BD. At least that's in our favor ;)

Will this be our month?




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Buckeye Bud - An Introduction to My Journey

I am SO excited to not only be the newest addition to this blog but also to be joining an amazing group of women with similar life struggles. I never imagined how hard this journey would be or why God would choose me to be a passenger on this unfair journey. Here is a quick wrap-up about how I got here today.

My first pregnancy occurred in July 2010. I went in for my ten week Ultrasound on a Friday and found out my baby stopped growing at seven weeks. I had a missed miscarriage that weekend and a DNC the following Monday. I was completely and utterly devastated beyond belief. I had never in my entire life felt pain to that magnitude. My life was over, my dream was destroyed, and the light at the end of the tunnel was 20 light-years away. Everyone I encountered seemed to say all the wrong things. “It wasn’t meant to be,” or “it will happen again just be patient” were some of the worthless rubbish I heard on a daily basis. People didn’t mean to be cruel; they just don’t know what to say in situations like that.

Three very long months later I got pregnant again. Shocker…another miscarriage at six weeks. Four months later I got pregnant AGAIN and had a miscarriage at six weeks. By this time, I was completely numb from the pain. I had cried so much over the past year that I was completely out of tears by the time I found out about an unexpected tubal pregnancy in August 2011. A persons mind is a very sensitive thing and for it to be beat up so much in so little time put me in such a deep depression I never thought I would find my way out. But hope has pulled me out.....it's all I have left!

My goal of joining this blog are to become a support system for other women in situations similar to my own. Helping others helps with healing my own self, so I am tremendously eager to get started!

-Buckeye Bud

And the OPKs continue...

I took another OPK last night, as I had been... Here is the result:


I suspect it's about the same as the previous day...

So this morning, I decided to take another. Here is that result:



Seems a bit faded. I don't know if it's because of the time I took it, but I am planning to continue by taking another tonight. I believe this'll be my last one from the batch, so tomorrow I'll need to buy more. We shall see :) either way, Mr. DBud and I BDed last night, and plan to again tonight... So we're practicing ;)

Until next time...




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