Test Day Blues with a Twist

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So I had the first blood test on Saturday but since the Dr.'s office wasn't open that day I had to wait for the results on Monday. I took a pregnancy test Saturday morning finally at 5:30 am after laying awake since about 2:00 am with anxiety about the whole thing. I was having dreams that it was positive and then dreams it was negative, it was all very stressful even in my sleep!! So I peed on the stick and got this ugly result



As you would assume I wasn't too positive about the blood work after that. Although you always read and my Dr. tells me that they are not as sensitive as a blood test and don't stop taking your meds just because you got a negative on a pee stick. So I did the Saturday morning test early so that I would do the Monday morning test before I knew the results of Saturday's. I just wanted to be extra sure in case Saturday's wasn't good. All Saturday I was intermittently crying and trying to be positive about this cycle because that is what you are supposed to be positive. Everyone makes you think that if you are a negative about it that it will ruin everything so I holed up on the couch and watch Chocolate and It Could Happen To You and ate a lot of candy. You know eating your emotions is very helpful, always!! Mr. Explorer Bud then drug me out of the house to eat dinner and I got some delicious raspberry lemonade to feed my fake happiness.

Sunday I was feeling positive and ready for Monday, so I thought. Sunday night I slept for a few hours and then laid awake agonizing over what the results were going to be and I had to have a shot on my left side as well and was going to be mad if it came back negative and I had to take the shot. Finally I got out of bed and read a book downstairs on the couch and tried not to agonize over what might be in a few hours. Mr. EB woke up and gave me my shot, the best he has done yet, and we packed the dog into the car and off I went to the hospital to have my blood drawn for the second time. Funny thing the girl checking me in said she wanted to be pregnant and that it just sounded like fun. I told her well I hope it is an easy process and good luck with that. Then she was asking about me and I told her we had to do IVF and she wanted to know what that was so I explained it to her. It is strange that people don't know what IVF is but I guess if you aren't immersed in it all the time you wouldn't really know.

At 9:00 am I put in the call to the Dr.'s office which they then take down my info and tell me the nurse will call me back. Yes so more waiting!! She calls back and says that it was negative and she is sorry. Me too, believe me, me too!! I tell her I took the second one this morning and if they would call me or if I needed to call them for the results. She said she didn't think they would be any different but I would need to call them back in a few hours if I wanted to get the results. Luckily I was at work, which luckily happens to be at my parents house, and flopped on their bed and cried for a while. Then sent out the mass text message to everyone who was waiting anxiously for the results as well, so at least I wouldn't have any calls wanting to know. Then I went in and cried on my dad's shoulder and then my mom's. It was a good ole' cry fest but you know you do feel better after a good cry. Then Mr. Explorer Bud got out of class and I went and picked him up and had a little cry fest with him.

So here is the mean weird twist of this whole sad story. Mr. Explorer Bud wanted me to call the Dr.'s office and get the results of the second test so I obliged. The nurse call's me back and says well the test shows that my level went from a 1 to a 4 in 48 hours which are really low numbers but hey I should do a HPT in a week and see what it shows. So of course I can't stop taking my shots, a gazillion pills and patches now because what if it works. Now this whole saga is just going to be drug on for another week. I can't get excited because I don't really believe that it will become anything but I am a little happier in that there might just be a miracle in the works here. So Mr. Explorer Bud is out buying 4 or 5 tests so we can do some testing this week and see what happens. There you have it the so very long story of our test results which are now To Be Continued.....