Crossroads

I've spent the past week trying to decide what to do next. I'm willing to give up and live child-free, but Mr. GB really wants children, and I owe it to him to keep trying. I thought I would be clever and let him look into adoption, but it seems that football playoffs are more interesting, so I've taken over the research.

I looked into gestational carriers. We are lucky to live in Washington (the state), which is close to Oregon, which has very liberal laws that allow paying for gestational carriers. For a mere $60-70k, we could maybe have a baby or twins with our remaining frosties. Or maybe the embies wouldn't thaw. Who knows. I do know that I'm not yet prepared to spend that kind of money. Not yet anyway.

So that leaves adoption. Neither one of us has an issue with the idea of adoption, but I'm afraid the realities are going to give us pause. I've been looking into local agencies and some that came recommended to me. I liked a particular Christian organization, except we don't go to church and therefore don't qualify. Another agency I really liked only placed 10 infants last year. That doesn't seem like enough to me. And another agency only does domestic adoptions of African American babies, which is right for some people but not for me. The final agency I really like has good stats, a decent wait, and oh yeah, about 25% of the babies are exposed to drugs in utero.

So I've gone from trying to have bio babies, to trying to have donor egg babies, to possibly adopting a baby that may have special needs due to drug exposure.

Call me a terrible person but I don't think I can handle this type of situation. This agency also pushes open adoptions, which Mr. GB sort of freaked out about. He hasn't read the "Adoption for Dummies" book that I keep shoving in his hands, so he doesn't have a clue about what we're about to embark on. And when I bring it up, he acts all uncomfortable, like he's getting a prostate exam.

In other words, we're getting nowhere.

We have a lot more talking to do.