SSDD: My lining still sucks

Went in for a follow-up ultrasound today. I'm on 4 estrogen patches and 2x/day estrogen supps and guess what, my lining hasn't budged. It's still around 6.5. Well technically we did manage to find an angle that measured 6.8, but this took a lot of probing and there were still plenty of angles that measured barely above 6. There is also a spot of fluid in my uterus again, though it's close to my cervix and they think it's mucus (my last estrogen count was in the 1600s and the mucus seems like a logical diagnosis). Whatever.

So the nurse called the doctor in to look and although you need glasses to even see my lining on an ultrasound, it does show a nice trilaminar (aka "triple stripe") pattern. The doctor was pleased enough that we got the green light to move ahead with my FET on 12/17. In the meantime, I'm going to start drinking POM juice again and maybe start taking baby aspirin (the doctor gave me the ok but I didn't have any so I haven't started yet).

Sigh.

All this goes to show that no matter how much money or time you spend, you may not end up with a baby. I am beyond encouraging words or "power penguin vibes" at this point. I wonder if the people who say "Keep trying" have any idea how much $$ we've spent (at last count it was something like $33k in insurance and another $30k or so out of pocket). For us, "keep trying" really equates to "keep spending money." Clearly throwing money at my uterus is getting me nowhere. We have 5 frosties and I am grateful that they don't cost much $$ to put back, just patience. I'm already starting to plan ahead for when those fail. We'll probably try a frozen egg bank next, though I'm afraid they might reject my shitty uterus. Maybe we'd get better results with donor sperm? Who knows. Maybe we should just get another puppy and get on with our lives.

And I'm still waiting for the much-hated-by-infertiles question "Why don't you just adopt?"

Well because that takes years and tens of thousands of dollars too, and I don't see the odds being any better than what we're trying now.

Maybe we need a gestational carrier. I can't even fathom what that would cost.

The puppy idea is sounding better and better.

I'll post an update after my transfer.

Golden Bud