NOYB!

OMG, I totally lied all over my eye doctor's paperwork yesterday. I went in for my yearly check-up, been going there for years, but he's got all these new forms to fill out and I was unprepared for the invasiveness of the questions. It was like a TSA infertility patdown.

Let's see what I wrote down:

Are you pregnant or nursing? Yes/No
Not hard to guess my selection here. But, if they asked if I was menstruating, I would lie and circle "No." I'm surprised the form didn't ask for my LMP.

Please list your current medications, including contraceptives: _______________________
Um, where do I begin here. Does stopping BCPs for this cycle mean I don't take them, or I didn't take them last night but still in general I take them to cycle but not for actual controlling of birth? Lupron shots. Estrogen patches starting tonight. Estrogen pills shoved in dark places starting next week. Progesterone shots in the fanny. 4 doses of folic acid plus prenatals (with built-in stool softener) plus calcium.

Well shoot, there wasn't enough space for me to write all this down so I just left it blank.

Please list all major surgeries: ___________________________________
Do you REALLY want to know? What do 2 egg retrievals and 2 D&Cs have to do with my eyes? Like I'm going to tell you this. My parents go to the same clinic. Loose lips sink HIPAA ships. No thanks.

I left the line blank. It's not like I lied and wrote "None," right?

<List of health issues omitted but basically I had to go and put check marks next to all kinds of symptoms and maladies>

Other health issues not listed above: ______________________________
Am I supposed to write "infertility" here? Seriously? If my health insurance won't treat it, it's not a health issue and therefore I don't have to indicate it here. Thankyouverymuch.

What do you like to do for fun?____________________________
At this point I was so annoyed that I left this line blank. This is what infertility has done to me. (But the truth is I love photography, so I'm not completely devoid of inner life and happiness. I just don't feel the need to answer this question on some stupid form.)

In other more relevant news, I had my suppression check yesterday and everything looked perfect. No cysts to foul up the cycle, and I have to say that I thought my uterus looked pretty good (the lining was thin as expected, but I just thought it looked really good on the screen). I start my estrogen patches tonight and decrease my Lupron, which is a good thing because I've got a Lupron headache that's driving me crazy.

I'll check in as the cycle progresses.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Golden Bud