One issue I have been struggling with lately as we enter our first IUI cycle is how to deal with missing work for fertility treatments. I recently posted on the Nest GP board about this asking for advice. It is really awkward for me to have to leave work for prolonged periods of time for frequent appointments, especially when the appointments seem spontaneous and unplanned given the unpredictable nature of fertility treatments.
On one hand, I think it sounds like BS to leave for vague, repeated, and unpredictable appointments on short notice. In addition, if it means I have to back out from giving a presentation or going to a conference at the last moment, I feel like it could really trigger concerns about my work ethic or even foster resentment (even if I say it is for a medical appointment, one might ask why I specifically needed to schedule an appointment on the day of something important!).
If I explain I am going for ongoing medical treatments and act vague about it, I don't want to concern people and let their imaginations run wild at what mystery medical problem I might be facing. On the other hand, I really feel like my and DH's effort to conceive is no one else's business and that it's a little TMI--I mean, perhaps they prefer not to know what is going on! Anyway, this is the ongoing monologue in my head that I am currently trying to sort through.
For Mr. Blueberry Bud, the problem is even greater since he has patients scheduled for surgeries months in advance and can't just jump ship and head for the fertility clinic located almost 1 hour from his hospital because his wife's follicle reached the perfect size:-/ We will somehow make this work because it is a priority and we have to make it work but these are some of the anxieties that I am facing right now. I know this must be a common issue for all couples undergoing fertility treatments and we will find our own style and way to navigate, but for now it sure feels like a lot of floundering.
In other news, I had a monitoring ultrasound today on CD 11. My lining was 7.5 but the u/s tech couldn't spot any dominant follicles yet. I hope this isn't a foreshadowing of things to come and that I will still O, albeit maybe a bit late this cycle. Last cycle, I already had a 16mm and 7mm follicle on CD 12 (of course the dominant follicle then started diddly-daddling and grew only 1mm over the next 3 days and I didn't O until 5 days later on CD17). I am trying to think positive thoughts--always hard when you are subconsciously preparing yourself for the next disappointment.
Lastly, I am going to make an appointment tomorrow with a senior RE who is supposed to be amazing. Since we have socialized medicine in Israel, fertility treatment is covered by the government-subsidized health basket (awesome!), but when you go to the fertility clinic you generally see a resident has just completed his rotation in IVF and he consults with a senior RE. If you actually want to deal directly with a senior RE, you need to pay OOP and see him privately. Mr. Blueberry Bud and I decided that at this point it is worth it, especially to get our many questions answered. So far I have seen two of the residents -- one who was really great and another who in addition to not seeming very good, didn't seem to care. If nothing else, I think it will make us at least feel better about the care we are receiving to speak with someone who is very experienced.
I'm not sure how large your company is, but do you have a direct supervisor that you can trust? When I had to go through a lot of testing, I had my direct supervisor in the know. It made things a lot easier.
ReplyDeleteI wa gonna ask the same thing. Is there someone in management that you can trust with the truth of what your appointments are for and in turn they prevent backlash from your need to run out at times. Good luck with the IUI.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice, ladies! I work in a fairly small research lab (8 people). My supervisor is probably the most important person to tell, yet I feel more comfortable talking to many of my CWs than to him. I guess in the end it will depend on how many cycles of treatments it takes. Unlike DH, who thinks it's best to be vague and let them connect the dots, I think I would rather just tell them what the deal is than be vague that I have an undisclosed medical condition.
ReplyDeleteWhile the work situation sounds like zero fun, definitely good luck this cycle and with the senior RE!
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